Wanting to be Jake's sissy

i've talked with Jake (the guy i met at the gym) fairly regularly the last few days, even though we haven't had our coffee date yet.  i'm becoming more comfortable with him and our conversation started flowing much more freely a few days ago.  Yesterday afternoon's phone chat left no doubt that so far, both our intentions are on the same page.  That's only one of several concerns that i believe have to be overcome before any type of intimate play develops.

We're having coffee together on Friday morning after we go to the gym and i would like to bring up one very important subject with him over the phone before that meeting.  Basically, i'm a little nervous about bringing up my desires to be feminine and submissive in any type of relationship.  i get the sense that Jake is dominant, but so far i haven't been able to  get a read on whether or not he would enjoy being with a man who wears panties and dresses feminine.  To each his own, but some men get terribly turned off by that.  Similarly, i would have a difficult time being masculine when with a man.  Basically, it just wouldn't work.

We're supposed to talk later today and most likely tomorrow as well.  Somehow, i need to bring this up to him before we meet for coffee.  i'm going to try to get the conversation to the point where we can discuss past experiences we've had and fantasies.  i also want to be honest and up front with him that my dressing (at least partially) is important to me.  i also don't know him well enough where i can reveal all my feminine fantasies.   i think by asking him what some of the things he likes are i'll be able to get a good sense of where i stand. 

Each one of our telephone chats have become more personal and open.  If this trend continues, and i hope it does, by Friday's date he'll know what color panties i'm wearing!

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Bridal Fantasies

i think most sissies, crossdressers, TV's and those of us who just simply enjoy feminine things have at one time or another harbored deep yearnings and fantasies to one day have the opportunity to be a bride.  In my case, those desires never go away but sometimes get much stronger than others.  They seem to be on my mind all the time for a few days.

We got an invitation to a wedding in the mail last week and since then, i've been playing the "Bride Fantasy" over and over in my head in so many different ways.  A wedding is such an important thing to a bride and under the best of circumstances, could involve more than a year of planning with so many different details to attend to.  Many of those are special emotional and sometimes intimate activities that involve friends and family; special times that they never forget.

Diane knows very well about my bridal fantasies and even though we've played with it a little bit, we haven't gone "all the way" with me dressing as a bride and having a wedding ceremony.  She's told me that some day we'll do that and I hope we follow through with it.  She's dressed me in white lingerie many times before She's made love to me and the last wedding we attended, had me dress in white lingerie under my clothes!  i wrote about it in this post.

If i were a bride, there's one thing that i would love to do on my wedding night.  i know there's so much beautiful bridal lingerie available, but if it were up to me, i'd be waiting for my husband in bed on that special night, wearing at least a piece or two of the gown i had worn that day (especially the wedding veil)  i'd want him to make love to me while i'm dressed as His bride!

The wedding isn't until later this summer so i hope i snap out of my fantasy bridal trance soon and move on to other things.  Otherwise, it's going to be a long HOT summer.

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Cuckold Feelings

Diane's been a little edgy this week since returning from our short trip for a graduation.  There were also a few issues at the office that She had to deal with while we were away and She knew what was waiting for Her when She returned.

Also, Her last meeting with Brian took place last Wednesday night while i was away.  It's probably going to be another two weeks before She seems him again and i think that's putting Her in a down mood.  She's always told me this is just a sexual thing and i believe Her, but sometimes i need to hear it just to reaffirm it.  So the other night, i asked Her if She missed Brian and Her answer was more or less what i expected, but still difficult to hear.

"Of course I miss him because of the sex.  I don't miss him much when it comes to being with him or the companionship.  He's nice and he's fun, but it's the sex I miss" She told me.  After a pause She added "Wouldn't you miss it if I didn't fuck you for a few weeks?"

Those were Her exact words.  She doesn't use the "F" word often, almost never.  i told Her that yes, i would miss it, but then i went on to over-analyze what She had said and began to think if i would miss it the same way She misses Her sex with Brian?

Part of the reason i would miss being made love to by Diane is because of the love and emotional attachment that's involved in the act.  According to Her, there's not much of that involved when She does it with Brian.

i believe Her.  But the discussion was one of those little things that made me feel like more of a cuckold than i already am.

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Sissy Necessities

Many years ago when i was a senior in college and ready to take on the world and enter the job market, the guys in our graduating class were treated to a presentation by the owner of a local men's clothing store.  It was a pretty informative session that covered the basics of proper business dress and how to start building a wardrobe that would help you be successful in the business world.

Of course, it was a pretty good marketing ploy for the guy's shop.  He provided everyone with a discount voucher on their first purchase which for many was the mandatory blue blazer!  The "must haves" included the blue suit, some grey slacks to go with the blue blazer, white shirts, etc.   The college graduation I attended with Diane this weekend brought back many memories, and this little story was one of them.

Which brings me to today's "sissy" topic.  While waiting at the airport i decided to check the news on my laptop and respond to a few personal emails.  As is the norm, i tend to surf around after getting my news fill and seem to gravitate more to some sites than others (i'm sure web marketers have a pretty good idea what sissies are attracted to).  So yesterday, i found this little gem from Glamour.com that should be of interest to those of us who enjoy some feminine finery once and awhile and tend to be a little fashion conscious:

"10 Dresses Every Woman Should Own"

My personal favorite?  The little white dress with the red pumps and matching accessories!  

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Failing my "Femme" Inspection

i'm still away from home with Diane to attend a family graduation event.  We're going to stay for an extra day or two but i do have a chance to write a little bit.  Staying with relatives (at their insistence) puts a little damper on our lifestyle, but there's still enough privacy to satisfy most all of the basic requirements of my contract with Diane.  She's even insisted that i help out our hosts domestically as much as possible!

The requirement that i wear at least four articles of feminine clothing for our trip was an interesting exercise.  When i was done dressing Diane asked me what the four items were that i had selected.  When i told her that i had chosen a sports bra (i thought a regular bra would be more noticeable under my navy blue golf shirt), panties, pantyhose and a ladies belt, i got a very disapproving look.

"Stop trying to by cute about it.  The ladies' belt doesn't count.  You're just trying to get away with something" She said.  Walking into our closet, She took a pink women's polo shirt off a hanger and threw it my way.  "Put this on."  She must have been reading my mind when She also said "And the belt stays on too."

i ended up with five articles of femme clothing instead of four!

Diane said i had "failed my femme inspection" and not to let it happen again.  She had a smile on her face and was very pleasant about it though, seemingly content that i was finally dressed properly for our trip and that She had some input into it!

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Flying "More Femme"

i leave with Diane today for about 5 days.  We're going to a niece's college graduation and will be flying out tomorrow.  The graduation is this weekend and we'll be spending some time with family. 

This morning, Diane told me that tomorrow i need to wear four items of feminine clothing for our flight out.   At first, i was shocked and incredulous about this demand.  Four items is quite a bit to wear without bring unnecessary attention to myself.  Diane told me i was making way too big a deal out of it and was worrying for nothing.  "I bet you could get by with more items than that and nobody would even bat an eye" She said.  

She proceeded to suggest several things i could wear in various combinations that would amount to four items.  Some of the things she mentioned were bra, panties, pantyhose, garter belt, thigh highs, ladies oxford or golf shirt, ladies slacks or jeans, ladies socks, a chemise, a girdle, etc.  There was more on the list but i can't remember.  She's correct (again), and i should be able to get the four items without much of a problem.

Wednesday night was an interesting one.  Brian did hook up with Diane, but couldn't stay very long.  When i spoke with Her later that evening, She said even though the time with Brian was short, it was still worth it.  "I still wish you were here tonight though.  I like being with Brian, but there's something special about having you there after he leaves" She said.  "Makes it feel more like I'm cuckolding you."  Those last words got me hard.

Also, i got up the courage to call Jake and am glad i did.  We're meeting for coffee next Thursday and i'm now sure this is going to work out.  We couldn't talk long but i finally asked him what made him approach me at the gym.  He in turn asked me if i was glad he did.  "Of course" i said, then realizing how i probably sounded a little too giddy about it.  "Well, I'm a little embarrassed to say this" he said "but I'd been looking you over for awhile and, well, was intrigued by your legs."

Wow was all I could think.  There was silence and i finally told him that now i was the one who was embarrassed, blushing too.  "Good" he said, "now I don't feel so bad."

i think this thing with Jake might work out after all.  Now i just have to decide what i am going to wear this afternoon!

See you next week :)

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Cuckold Day?

I'm headed out of town this morning and back tomorrow.   Diane hasn't been in a very talkative mood the past couple of days but She did perk up a little last night after talking with Brian for a short while.  i didn't ask if they were getting together tonight while i was gone, but She volunteered a little bit of information a little while later, saying that Brian would be in town tomorrow but wasn't sure if he'd be able to stay late into the evening or overnight.

Maybe it's me but the call from Brian seemed to perk her up a little, put Her in a better mood.  There were a few giggle during the call, some laughter and a smile on her face when i looked over once.  i feel strange saying this but i'm happy for Her.  i wonder if She'll be just as happy for me if i find someone special also.  i'm not saying that in a bad sense at all, it's just something that i wonder about. 

i'm happy that Brian's call put Diane in a better mood.  Last night She had me go upstairs first and wait for Her in bed with "something pretty on."  i love those types of orders from Her.  They put me in a submissive and feminine mood immediately.  i pranced upstairs and took the bed down and took forever to decide which nightgown i wanted to wear.  i decided on a very short peach colored nightgown with matching panties that had a hint of lace around the legs and a little bow on the front waist.

It's a nightgown that i've had for a very long time.  Years and years.  One of the first Diane actually bought me.  It's so pretty, with layers and layers of chiffon type material.  When i wear it, which isn't often, Diane always likes to call me Her "princess."  Last night was no different.  As She took out her strap-on and put it on, She said to me "Get ready princess.  I'm going to make love to you."

i was ready, and She did. 

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Exchanging Phone Numbers & My Tumblr

i saw Jake at the gym today and i doubt very much i'm reading this wrong.  He happened to be finishing his workout just about the time i ran into him  i saw him and had gone over to say hello and i couldn't help but see a funny grin on his face.  We talked for a few minutes and once again he seemed to be looking me over, glancing at my smooth legs more than once.

i'd be lying if i didn't admit to doing the same.  Jake's a pretty muscular guy and i also enjoyed looking at his muscular arms and legs, and even sneaking a peek at his crotch!  It felt so naughty.  i was in this feminine mood and all giddy that we had seen each other when he said "Why don't we exchange cell numbers.  It might be easier to coordinate our coffee date."

We walked over to a desk in that's in the corner of the room where sometimes one of the trainers sits between appointments and got a piece of paper and a pen to write our numbers down.

"Is there any time that's not good to call?" he asked.

i hesitated for a moment and thought about it.  "Not really, if i can't talk, i'll just say so and i'll call you back when it's good for you.  How about you?" i asked him.

"Evenings aren't the best but days are usually good.  If I can't talk, I'll just say you have the wrong number" he said with that infections grin again.

In my opinion, the way he was acting was a pretty good indication that he wanted our friendship to be discreet in some way.  We shook hands and he patted me on the back before he left, telling me that he was happy we saw each other today.  "If I don't see you here tomorrow, I'll call you and we can set up a time for coffee" he said.

i can still feel his strong handshake and firm pat on the back.  i really hope this works out!

My Tumblr Blog

Thanks to those of you who have visited (and even commented) over at my Tumblr blog, also called "A Married Sissy."  Tumblr is an interesting phenomenon.  Millions of pictures make up various collections that typically reflect a person's interest. 

I've tried to keep my Tumblr blog free from porn-like photos (not that i don't find those arousing) and focused on those items that reflect my feminine feelings and tastes.  i try to do that here as well, opting not to show more graphic sexual images.  Again, it's just my personal preference, for now anyway!

If you have any suggestions, comments, opinions, etc....please let me know.  i value everyone's feedback!

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Sunday Shorts

Today's post is going to be a short one.  We're on our way to Diane's mother's house and overall it's been a pretty busy weekend.  Here are just a few "short" thoughts and things to share with you...

• Went to the gym with Diane yesterday but didn't run into Jake.  Diane wants to check him out eventually before She gives me Her "blessing" to be with him, if that's what he's really looking for.  Interesting how She is with Brian and he doesn't know that i know about his affair with Diane, and the same thing could happen with Jake if we end up together.  
• i still have my period and will have to stop at CVS or Walgreen's later today.  Diane's insisted i wear tampons and I'm down to my last one.  Guess who's going to run in to buy them today?
• i am away this week for one night but it doesn't look like that night will work out for Diane and Brian.  i may have to make myself scarce on another day this week so they can have our home to themselves.   It could come on short notice also.
• And since this is a short post, i thought i'd share the following picture with you.  I just love short-shorts, hot pants, short and tight cutoff jeans, etc.  They make me feel so femme.

• i wish my ass looked like hers.  It doesn't, but i'm working on it!

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Downer of a Day

Yesterday turned out to be somewhat of a downer.  When the woman at the front desk at the gym scanned me in, she told me to wait a second before i went into the locker room because i had a message.  She found an envelope that had my name on it and handed it to me.  The message was from Jake, apologizing that he couldn't make it to the gym Thursday or Friday, that something came up at work and he'd be out of town.  "Let's try Saturday" was how the message closed.

The message really bummed me out.  As nervous as i was about having coffee with him, there was also plenty of angst and constant worry about whether or not i was reading this right and even if i was, how i was supposed to act.  Now with this cancellation, i would be filled with at least a few more days of nervousness. 

This isn't like someone you meet online where you post an ad that, if written properly, should explain the type of person you are looking for.  When you do that, the people who respond aren't usually surprised by your interests and fantasies if you've been honest.  This situation with Jake makes me feel like a teenage girl in high school!  Even if i am reading this correctly, and he is interested in me sexually, i still have to somehow make sure he's okay with my femme side.  It's possible he suspects it because of my smooth legs, but somehow i doubt it.   i've gone over ways i can bring it up in a conversation (if our conversation ever gets far enough) and will continue to fret over it.

I also started "my period" yesterday.  When i walked into the bathroom yesterday morning, Diane had set out my box of Maxipads, a non-verbal signal that i should put one on immediately.  By my calculations, i wasn't due to "start" and mentioned it to Her.  "You must have miscalculated" was Her answer.  i wore the pad.

Leaving the box of Maxipads out on the bathroom vanity was a clear message from Diane.  She didn't have to spell it out either.  i shouldn't expect to be exempt from having my period just because i was seeing Jake, now or in the future.   It had nothing to do with my miscalculating.

i know i'm getting ahead of myself, probably way ahead.  But, if things work out with Jake and we do get together, i'm either going to have to make excuses during "my time of the month", or i'm going to have more explaining to do.

i feel a little better today.  i went to the gym early and am back at home getting ready to do some ironing.  After my shower i'm going to wear something nice to do the housework.   Maybe something different like some tight ladies jeans and heels.  i may even put on a little bit of makeup.  Just because a girl is having her period doesn't mean she can't look pretty.

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Some Deep Sissy Feelings

i feel very feminine today.  More so than usual.  i've gotten all dressed up from head to toe just to do housework and some ironing.  That includes makeup, wig, some jewelry, etc.  The whole works.  After i get done with all my housework i'd love to throw caution to the wind and just go out and do some shopping while dressed this way.

i might change to something a little more casual and more in line with what an attractive middle aged woman might wear while running a few errands.  Maybe a nice pleated skirt, some heels, pantyhose, sweater, blonde wig, sunglasses and a matching purse.  I'd love to capture a few glances but not too many.  That would be way to risky. 

Shopping while dressed en femme poses another challenge at times for some cd's.  Unless your paying in cash, you have to use your credit and debit card which has your male name on it.  i don't really have that problem.  Although i spell my sissy name as "terri", my real name is Terry.  It's one of those unisex names that, when you have a lifestyle like mine, certainly has its advantages.

There's a reason i feel very femme today.  It's something that's been brewing for the past couple of months and i haven't discussed it here because i felt a little silly.  i just brought it up to Diane this weekend and only when we were discussing our summer plans.  She was asking me when Ken (my old 'boyfriend') was going to be around.  After telling Her when i thought he'd be in town, i came clean and told Her about the reason for my feeling so femme today.

i go to the gym nearly every day, and usually around the same time.  Naturally, i tend to see many of the same people who follow similar routines.  There's been one man who always seems to be there around the same time as me.  We've never really talked much, but just exchanged some hello's or waves, more out of courtesy than anything else.  Or so I thought. 

The last few weeks i've caught him looking over at me a few times and our eyes sort of met if you know what i mean.  The last couple of times i actually felt myself blushing.  He's a good looking man, tall (maybe about 6'3" and 210 lbs), muscular, clean cut, greying hair and probably in his late 50's or early 60's.   Last week,  i was away on business for a couple of days and when i returned on Friday he actually approached me in said "I missed you the last couple of days.  Nice to see you back.  I'm Jake."  He extended his hand and i did the same.  We shook hands, his grip so much stronger than mine. 

i introduced myself to him and we talked a little bit.  While i was doing so i couldn't help but notice him sort of checking me out, glancing at my smooth legs.  i used to wear long sweat pants or something similar because of my smooth legs but have since stopped doing that.  As he glanced, i could feel myself blushing again.  He was just finishing his workout and was getting ready to head out.  "I'm sure we'll see each other again.  Nice meeting you" he said with a wink.  "Same here.  Really nice to meet you" I told him.   After i said it, i worried that it sounded stupid.  i seemed to put emphasis on the word "really" and wondered what he thought.  i felt like he was almost "flirting" with me, but maybe i was misreading the whole thing.  i couldn't get Jake off my mind the rest of the day.

i ran into Jake again this morning at the gym.  i hadn't seen him earlier in the week and thought i would approach him and say hello and probably let him know that i noticed he wasn't around.  When i did, he smiled and said that he and his wife were out of town for a couple of days to attend a funeral but was back to his regular routine.  Then, he surprised me by asking if i were going to be around tomorrow and if i'd like to get a coffee after the workout!   "Sure, that would be great" i told him.  We agreed to meet at the gym tomorrow at our regular time and head out for coffee after.

So right now, my mind is on overdrive.  i can't be misreading this thing can i?  Even if i'm not, and Jake is bi and attracted to me, i'm scared to break the ice about my fem side.  Some men are totally turned off by things like that.  i certainly have to be careful and tread carefully here.  i'm nervous as can be, but excited at the same time.  No wonder i feel so girly today!

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Some New Rules

Diane doesn't read the blog on a daily basis and there are times when She may not look at it for a week or so.  Yesterday afternoon she spent some time on Her computer looking at mine and other blogs and came away with a few "rules" She wants to implement and several other suggestions about how i'm doing things.  First, the rules.

As you probably already noticed, Diane wants me to capitalize all pronouns that refer to Her, and to use lower case letters when referring to myself, such as when the word "i" is used.  i began doing that immediately in the first paragraph here.  She's going to monitor it closely and hinted at some sort of punishment if i mess up.  i asked Her why She was insisting on this and where She had found the idea.  Her answer to the first question was "Because I can.  That's all you need to know."  She said She had seen it on a few other blogs with Dominants and submissives and thought it only seemed natural.

The second new rule She wants to put into effect is that i will be required to respond to all comments.  She finds it a little rude that some pretty "cool" comments go by without my personal acknowledgment.  Further, She thinks that it is outright disrespectful for me to  not acknowledge a comment from a Dominant man or woman with a "thank you" comment and some follow up. 

What really set Her off on this was my post "Dressing Like a Lady" that received a comment from Mistress Scarlett, a wonderful Domme who has a blog of Her own called "Real Life Female Domination."  Let me publicly apologize to Mistress Scarlett here for not responding to the comment.  i've also added Her blog to  my own blog list.  Please make sure to stop by and pay her site a visit. 

The last item that was mandated, but not necessarily a "rule", was to give Her access to posting on the blog.  i'm going to do that as soon as i can figure out how.  She's not promising to post or anything, but told me there were a couple of times where She wanted to clarify a couple of things that i had written with Her own viewpoint. 

There were a few other suggestions, mostly cosmetic that i will implement over time.  One was that my blog listings could be categorized a little better.  i agree with that and had been thinking about it recently.  As an example, She suggested i should have blogs written by submissives and "sissies like yourself" grouped together.  Blogs by Dominants would be in a separate section, as would fashion blogs, cuckold blogs, etc.  Sometimes that is difficult because blogs can fall into a couple or more categories.  i'm going to work on it and will try to do a better job.

Another suggestion was to solicit more feedback from my readers.  i also think that's a good idea.  Suggestions that fit into the overall topic of this blog might be helpful.  i am here to tell my story, but if there are ways that it can be done better, i am certainly open to listening.  So feel free to offer suggestions either here through comments, or via email.

Finally, there was one more directive from Diane.  i was told to wear a long legged panty girdle today - all day.  That particular order really came out of the blue.  i didn't do it disrespectfully, but i did ask her why.  "Because I can order you to do that" she laughed.  She then revealed her real motive - she thought my ass looked a little plump the other night.  "Slim down to your required weight and you won't have to wear the girdle."

Well, i weighed myself this morning and i'm down to the required weight, with a pound to spare. However, I have the long legged girdle on anyway.   Just following orders!

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Spoiling my Wife

Last night's dinner party with friends went quite well.  It's amazing when you're leading a "secret life" and involved in a different type of lifestyle how comments made by others, as well as my wife Diane take on a whole different meaning.  They also have quite an effect on me and make great fodder for a later discussion. 

For instance, when someone commented how tastefully decorated our home was, Diane couldn't help but mention how I was responsible for most of it.  "Since Terry's retired, you wouldn't believe how much easier he's made things for me here at home" was her response.  Even though we both served dinner, she also mentioned that the only thing she was responsible for was the salad, and that I had "slaved in the kitchen all afternoon.  He's picked up so many new skills in the last  year" she quipped. 

During coffee and desert, there was a sports discussion and one of the men was a big Chicago Cubs fan and bemoaning how poorly they were doing.  Diane chimes in and says "Oh, we have a good friend of ours Brian who is absolutely crazy about the Cubs.  He gets so passionate about things and the Cubs are no different. "  Motioning to me she adds "Don't you agree that he goes overboard at times?"  I obediently agreed.

After everyone left, I donned my apron and did whatever needed to be done.  Diane helped a bit and told me that I had done a splendid job in preparation for the evening.  "I'm so happy to have you as my wife" she said as she put her hands around my waist and squeezed me.  She undid my apron and said "Get this pretty apron off, head upstairs and get yourself pretty.  I need you."

There was no mistaken what her "needs" were.  They're no longer the traditional straight sex needs a woman might have for her husband.  I knew exactly what she meant.

Afters slipping into a cream colored teddy, I was meeting those needs orally, enjoying my space between her legs. 

"You really spoil me you know that?" she asked after her first orgasm was over.  Before I could answer she said "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

I lay there with my head on one of her thighs as she stroked my hair.  A slight nudge was all I needed to know she wanted me to please her again.  

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Being a Good Wife

We're having three other couples over for a dinner party tomorrow night.  One of them is Diane's boss at work, Ron and his wife Aliia.  The others are friends of ours with one of the couples already having met Ron and Alicia.  It's an important dinner for Diane.  Her boss has been somewhat of a mentor to her and Diane is on the short list to replace him when he retires next year. 

In preparation for tomorrow night, I've been busy all day here at home as well as running errands to get things done and pick up what we need for dinner.  As I go about my duties today dressed totally in feminine garb while at home, including my very frilly apron, I realize just how comfortable and happy I am when I do wife-like things.

I changed to go out and pick up the groceries for tomorrow night, but quickly got back into my preferred attire when I got back home.  Tomorrow night, I obviously won't be dressed while our guests are here and I'm certain Diane won't be making any inappropriate comments and ordering me around like the submissive sissy that I am.  However, I'll be helping her as much as possible, even taking primary responsibility for preparing the dinner.  Our friends know I enjoy cooking and am quite good at it, so that won't be anything unusual for them to see.

If society were more accepting, I wouldn't hesitate to don my best apron and show exactly what my role is in our marriage.   It's disappointing but understandable that I can't do that.  Diane has other ways to help fulfill my desires.

She called me just a little while ago and asked "How's my little wife doing?  Staying busy?"

I listed everything that I had done and told her what I had left to do.  She also added a couple of items to my list.

"You've been a busy girl" she said, "I hope you're not too tired when I get home or have a headache.  I'm going to want to fuck you.  You deserve it."

I love being her sissy.

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The Cuckold Call

I just returned from my short business trip.  There were no issues at airport security which caused me great relief.  I just couldn't help from feeling nervous as I went through the scanner and waited while my luggage was scanned.  On my return home this afternoon, the woman operating the scanner seemed to take a very long time with my luggage, but finally let it through.  It wasn't until I had it in my hand and was walking towards my gate that I felt a sense of relief.

There was plenty of anxiety last night though.  Before I left, I had specific instructions to call Diane on Wednesday night at 6:25 PM.  She was very specific about the time.  My call was likely to come when she was in bed at home with her lover Brian.  I was to call her on her cell and talk to her like I normally would.

Diane's plan was to use the call as evidence to Brian that I was still "clueless" about their relationship and to help relieve any anxiety he might have about my finding out about their affair and time together.  She wants him to feel more comfortable and not have to worry about anything.  As part of the plan, Diane gave me a handful of questions I was to ask her when I called and of course, I was to tell her that I loved her before I hung up, and she would do the same.  She would call me later in the evening after Brian left to let me know how it went.

From my end,  thought I did pretty well given the circumstances.  I was anxious about it.  Here I was alone in my hotel room asking my wife how her day went, what time she got home, what she was doing for dinner, how I missed her and how much I loved her.  Diane said she had a great day at work, had actually gotten home early and wasn't sure what her plans for dinner were.  "I miss you too" she said and before we said our farewells, she told me she loved me.

I do love her.  Very, very, very much.  But carrying on  like that was difficult, wondering in what state of undress I had found her, what she and Brian were doing when the phone rang and whether or not he was so close to her so that he could hear both ends of our conversation.

Much later last night when Diane finally called me, she shared with me that when I called, the two of them were laying in bed and had just finished their first round of lovemaking.  She told me the call seemed to serve its intended purpose, proof to Brian that I suspected nothing and he indeed had nothing to worry about.  "He was even better the second time around, after your call" she told me.

Even though I was several hundred miles away, I never felt more like a cuckold as I did then.

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Sissies & Airport Security

I have an early morning flight tomorrow for a quick overnight business trip.  Just my laptop and a carry on piece of luggage.  Before I retired, such things were commonplace and I could pack in a matter of minutes and be done with it.  Now that my lifestyle as changed, things are going to take a little longer.

Diane wants to check what I have packed tonight when she gets home.  Normally, even though the flight is relatively early, I would still throw things together in the morning before leaving.  Now, Diane will review what I'm packing for lingerie, a nightie and other things and won't let me go unless everything meets her approval. 

Scanning machines in airports are very capable of making determining what's in a piece of luggage beyond those things which are prohibited.  If the agent doing the scanning sees something interesting in there, he or she may just flag the luggage so that it is open and the contents looked at.  Diane has already told me that at a minimum I'll need to have two pairs of panties, a bra, pantyhose and a nightie in my luggage for this trip; all things a woman would have for a one night stay. 

I know the likelihood of my luggage being searched is not that great, especially if I don't have anything illegal in it, but the thought of someone going through it and seeing a bra, panties, etc. has me very anxious.  I'm not very good at appearing nonchalant about such scenes and if it happens, the embarrassment and humiliation I feel is going to be very evident. 

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