Meeting our Sexual Needs

i was away most of the week on a consulting assignment and didn't have much time to blog, or much to blog about for that matter.  i did spend some time posting some photos on my tumblr page, something i find allows me to express myself in a different way than how i do here.

Diane hasn't seen Brian in two weeks and their schedules won't allow them to be together for probably another two weeks.  It might be the longest they've been apart since they started their affair.  i wondered this week if this extended period apart might cause a decline in their desire to be together.  That question was answered when i got home last night from the airport and the two of them were talking on the phone, Diane all smiles and seemingly in the middle of at least an R-rated discussion with Brian from the look in her eyes.

After her phone conversation we sat down together and caught up on the past week.  Even though i talked to Her every day while i was away, there were a few things to talk about.  We decided against going out to dinner and She suggested that i immediately get into my femme mode, put on my apron and prepare dinner.

Dinner was delayed.  When i was upstairs changing, Diane came up and decided dinner could wait.  In bra and panties, i had what you could call an excellent appetizer as i pleasured Her with my lips and tongue.  There was no taste or smell of Brian, only Diane.  And it was lovely.  Her desires were pent up from a lack of attention this week and she came quickly and powerfully.  More than once.

"Your turn" she said after recovering from her last orgasm.  "Go get the strap-on and stuff."  i did as i was told and soon found myself in the position She wanted, on my knees with my butt up in the air on the bed.  Diane toyed with me, longer than usual, teasing me as She entered me very slowly.  It wasn't a "let's get this over with" type of lovemaking at all.  With Her hands on my hips She skillfully made love to me, trying to satisfy me like a man does a woman.

As Her pace picked up, She turned on the vibrating option on her Feeldoe (a beautiful invention by the way).  Not long after, i had a wonderful orgasm and i thought Diane did also, the vibration of Her strap-on getting Her off and making Her "do me" harder.  It was beautiful.

Later, as She watched some cable news show while i finished dinner in my apron, i just basked in one of the most feminine moods i've felt in quite some time.  Like a wife who had just taken care of her spouse's needs, and had her own met at the same time. 

Diane's desires last night were well-timed.  This morning when i got up just a few minutes after Diane did, i saw the tampons and pads out on the bathroom vanity.  A not-so-subtle reminder that i was to start my period today.   

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i Know i'm a sissy

 i know i'm a sissy.  That's very clear to me.  What about you?  Are you uncertain? Confused?  Or maybe you're just not ready to admit it?

i don't believe there's a Domme on this planet that understands sissies better than Mistress Milliscent.  The latest posting on her blog "You Might Be.....sissy humor" proves my point.  As a sissy, i can only describe it as a work of genius.

It's a list of 68 statements (sissies don't get to enjoy "69" after all, unless it's with each other) that will send any sissy with a pulse into a submissive and feminine swoon.  Each statement helps you discover your true self.

Here's an example: You might be a sissy if your own collection of high heels puts most women's to shame.

i don't own such a large collection, but i hope to someday.


i don't think there's any specific number of statements you have to identify with to qualify as a full-fledged sissy.  Personally, i think only one would suffice.   There's no doubt i qualify.

Thank you Mistress Milliscent.

love,

sissy terri

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Housekeeping Tips For Sissies

Acceptance of one's subservient status in a Female Led Relationship doesn't mean it's the same for everyone.  i'm sure in many successful FLR's, the power dynamic may exist strictly from a sexual perspective, while others are totally different.  My own situation with Diane goes well beyond the sexual aspect.  It covers every part of our lives, even though there are times when it might not seem evident, depending upon who we're with and where we are.  But never are there any indications that i'm the one in charge.

It's clear that i play the role that's been traditionally seen as the "wife."  Even though things are changing so fast when it comes to gender equality, Diane wants me to be responsible for everything that we grew up viewing as "woman's work."  i do it, and i do it as best as i can.  i also take a feminine approach to all the things i do around the house.

i thought i'd share the following article from Shine on Yahoo called "How to Keep Your Clothes Looking New."  Most of the material is things a good "wife" already knows, but it helps to read all the tips and information provided in one place.  It's good information for whoever is responsible for the laundry in your home.  i also know that there are many submissive husbands who enjoy playing the role of the "lady of the house", even though their wives aren't going along with it 100%.  Getting better at what you do might help convince her!

Also, if you haven't visited Shine on Yahoo, take the time to do so.  There are plenty of housekeeping, fashion and beauty tips, recipes and other femme type things you're sure to enjoy.

i also want to apologize for the spam comments that keep showing up on my blog.  i'm trying to fix it but am not a blogging expert.  i'd like to be able to have it set up where you have to enter a code to post a comment, but can't seem to find that option.  If anyone can walk me through it, email me the instructions and i'd be forever grateful!

love,

sissy terri

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Repressing My Sissy Urges

Earlier this week i got an email from Jake, then a phone call.  i didn't answer the email right away although it was my intention to do so, so a few hours later he called me.  There was some small talk and he asked me how i was doing, how the holidays were and so on.  i had a feeling i knew why he was calling and sure enough, he asked me if i'd like to get together with him again.

The honest answer would have been a "yes."  The more difficult one was to say no.  Luckily i had thought this through before and anticipated that he would contact me again at some point.  To be honest, i'd even thought about getting in touch with him but i didn't.  Jake had often told me that his desires to be with another man, to have someone orally please him without any reciprocation, would come and go.  There were periods where the desire was so intense according to him, and other times when it would wane and be almost non-existent.

It made me feel so "used" and inferior.  i felt like i was his little toy to be used during one of his needy periods; someone to be tossed aside when he didn't feel like it anymore.  i didn't only feel like that.  Facing reality, i really was that plaything of his to use until his urges subsided.  The urges are back now, and he wants me on my knees in front of him once again.

Being looked upon that way by another man has its own perverse sort of pleasure for a submissive.  i'd love to feel his cock on my lips and in my mouth once again.  i'd love to dress sexy for him and be told to drop to my knees and pleasure him.  i just can't do it. 

The urge to be a submissive sissy to a man remains.  It was hard to say no, but i'm glad i did.  Maybe i'll change my mind someday, but i doubt it.

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Reflections on Cuckolding

My absence from blogging over the weekend wasn't just the result of being a little busy.  There was time to blog and i had even planned on doing it later on Friday afternoon.  The lack of a post until this afternoon was on Diane's insistence that i take appropriate time to reflect on the experience and gather my thoughts.  She also wanted me to step away from the blog this weekend and spend more time this weekend doing more feminine things with Her.

i was allowed to spend a little time posting images on my tumblr site, something that i find relaxing, enjoyable and an exercise that helps me reflect the way She wants me to.  But my weekend of "more feminine" things also included a ban on TV sports.  How things have changed.  It wasn't long ago that this particular weekend, when the final eight NFL teams were facing off, was one that i would look forward to with great anticipation.  Hardly ever did anything get in the way of my seeing those games in their entirety.  This weekend i didn't see any of them.  And Diane made sure to let me know that Brian watched them all.

However, i'm very happy with how the weekend went.  i had time to think about what happened last Wednesday and Thursday nights and spent a considerable amount of time discussing it with Diane.  There were several very intimate and personal conversations and admissions.  Diane shared that Brian was indeed nervous about how things would go but when it was all over, he admitted that he really had a good time.  "He feels very comfortable doing it again" She said, and told me he was afraid I might be scared off or unwilling to continue.  "Are you?" She asked me.

That was a difficult question to answer.  A very difficult one.  It involves so many things, so many feelings, emotions, hangups, etc.  Until Wednesday night, no one had really seen me dressed en femme except for Diane and Jake.  My relationship with Diane makes being dressed in Her presence feel natural.  It just feels right.  And with Jake, it was much the same way.  My dressing and being femme was a very big part of our relationship.

Doing so in front of Brian was intimidating and i felt uneasy.  The reason is that i sometimes think i look ridiculous dressed as a woman.  Diane simply says "that's a ridiculous notion.  You look lovely."  i'm in good shape, slim and smooth with no facial hair.  i trim my eyebrows and keep myself meticulously groomed.  Yet i still feel awkward.  And dressing in front of my wife's lover makes me feel so self-conscious.

We spent much of the time i tried answering Diane's question discussing this very topic.  Eventually, Diane wants me in full feminine attire when Brian is here, much like i would be if it were just the two of us.  She wants me to get over this hangup and move forward.  i promised Her i would do my best.

The most difficult moment on Thursday night took place when i was called into the bedroom after their first lovemaking session.  In many ways it was my "big test."  When i got there, Brian was in the bathroom and Diane told me to strip down to my bra and panties.  She lay on the bed, naked, on her side looking at me but facing the side of the bed where Brian had obviously just left.  My heart was beating and Diane simply told me to relax but not to waste any time.  i fumbled with the blouse but got it off and slid off my slacks and the pantyhose.

"Come here" She said.  As i approached, Diane laid back and spread her legs.  She took me by the hand and pulled me towards Her.  "Clean me" was all She said.  Almost fearful that Brian would come into the bedroom and we would make eye contact, i buried myself between Her legs.  It seemed like all i could taste was Brian.  Then i heard him come in the room.

Diane asked him to lay beside Her as i licked.  She told him to relax and i felt him lay beside Her.  All the time She was holding my head in place.  The fact that i was there in my bra and panties in front of Brian was the most embarrassing moment of my lifetime.  Diane and Brian were kissing while i licked Her.  i wondered if She even enjoyed what i was doing.  They talked as if i wasn't even there i thought.  Eventually though, her arousal was evident and even though it took longer than it usually does, Diane had a wonderful orgasm.

The time after the orgasm was even more difficult and uncomfortable.  i eventually had to get up and face Brian in some way.  "That was absolutely wonderful" Diane said, breaking the ice.  "Did you enjoy it?" She asked me.  "Yes, i did" i told Her, not even hesitating.  It wasn't a lie.  "I can tell" She teased.  Even as i got up and walked away, my erection was noticeable.

Sensing my discomfort, Diane dismissed me, once again saying thank you and telling me I could go back downstairs.  They made love love late into the evening.

i passed the first big test i suppose, but i wonder how difficult the future visits from Brian will be.  i hope they get easier.  i'm still very anxious.  

Yesterday, we also did some shopping for lingerie on line.  We had gone shopping in the afternoon but Diane didn't see anything she liked.  We each bought an identical bra and panty set.  "I want to surprise Brian next time he's here.  I think it will be cute when he sees us in matching bras and panties" She told me. 

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More Cuckolding & More Later

It's probably going to be nearly a month before Brian is in town again.  So last night's session between him and Diane was a voracious one to say the least. 

The biggest change from Wednesday night was that this time, for at least part of the evening, i was "allowed" into the bedroom and participated in my own cuckolding.  i didn't do any "fluffing", but i think that it's going to be just a matter of time before i do. 

There's so much more to tell, but i have another commitment today.  i promise to write more either later today or this weekend.

Thanks to all of have left comments.  i appreciate all of your support.

love

terri

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My Cuckold Night

Up until last night, Diane's "affair" with Brian as real as it was, always felt like it was taking place in some type of make believe place.  i knew it was happening and in the most intimate of ways, experienced the unique taste, feel and smell of a woman who has been made love to by another man.  As real as my cuckolding was, the actual act of my wife having sex with another man wasn't taking place when i was under the same roof, or within earshot of the distinct sounds of very passionate lovemaking.

All of that changed last night, and everything happened so much faster than i ever thought it would.  The "ice breaking" time where we would sit and socialize for a little while to relax just whizzed by.  i no sooner had sat down after serving Diane and Brian drinks and appetizers that i was sent upstairs to "take down the bed and put some towels out" by my Wife.   "We may decide to take a shower first, or later" She giggled.  But, i'm getting a little bit ahead of myself here.

Yesterday afternoon, Diane called and told me She enjoyed my blog post.  i know She reads the blog but doesn't always discuss it with me (i am still waiting for Her to post, something She continuously promises She will do), in fact She rarely does.  But yesterday, She thought i should follow the suggestion of one of my readers, Serendipity, who gave her the idea that maybe i should dress in a more subdued feminine manner.  "I like the idea of you in some chic slacks, a blouse and some flats.  Maybe just a hint of makeup and nothing else" She said.  It was more than a suggestion and i didn't have a choice.  "And the undergarments go without saying" She added.

We also discussed dinner and a few other minor details.  i would prepare dinner when they were ready for it.  It could be either before or after they spent some time together.  i had some fish for grilling and a salad would be made.  i also had some stuffed mushrooms as appetizers ready to serve with their drinks when they first arrived.

i wore black ladies slacks that had a zipper up the back.  i have two very similar pairs, one is a size 10 and the other a 12.  i went back and forth on which pair i was going to wear.  i look better in the size 10 but i thought they were a little too tight and made me look more femme.  i originally chose the 12's, but changed at the last minute.  i knew Diane would notice and probably ask me later why i chose my "baggy" slacks.  i wore a white bra, white panties with a touch of lace on the front panel and a pair of taupe colored pantyhose.  A pair of black flats with a silver bow shaped buckle on them finished it off.  Honestly, i initially thought it was a great idea for a more subtle femme appearance and it probably was when you consider this being mine and Brian's first time to meet under these circumstances but as far as i was concerned, i might just as well have been wearing a bouffant gown with layers and layers of petticoats.  That's how femme and sissylike i felt.

Brian arrived with Diane at 5:45 exactly.  i saw the clock when i heard their cars pull into our driveway.  They entered together through the entryway from the garage where Diane parked Her SUV.  The initial greeting wasn't as awkward as i thought but still a little humiliating.  First, Diane said hello and gave me a peck on the cheek and told me i looked very nice.  "You remember Brian" She said as he extended his hand for me to shake.  i said hello and asked how he was doing.  What a stupid question!

Then, Diane shocked me She said "Princess, why don't you get me a glass of wine and ask Brian what he'd like to drink then join us in the living room for cocktails."  She'd sometimes referred to me as "Princess", but only in very intimate moments or when She wanted to tease and embarrass me.  This time, i blushed with embarrassment and Brian seemed to smile a little.  i tried to sort of brush aside the comment and quickly asked him what he would like.  After he said he'd just have a beer if i had one, Diane interjected and said "Go ahead, have a Manhattan and relax."  i don't think he really wanted one, but agreed with Diane's suggestion and off i went to prepare the drinks.

A few minutes later i entered the living room with their drinks, a glass of Chianti for Diane and Brian's Manhattan.  As i served the drinks, Diane looked at me puzzled and said "Uh....did we forget something?"  i thought everything was fine, other than maybe the appetizers which i was planning to bring out next.  i told Diane that i'd get the stuffed mushrooms.  "No.....it's not the mushrooms.  What are we missing?  What do we always wear when serving?" She asked.  i knew the answer and said "You're right.  I'm sorry" i answered and returned to the kitchen.  When i returned with the mushrooms, i was wearing a white bib apron with ruffled trim.  "Much better" Diane smiled.  This time, in addition to his smile, there was a little chuckle from Brian.

To me, the moment when i returned with the apron was the most telling moment of the evening.  My submission to Diane was on full display in front of Brian. She's expressed Her dominance over me on many, many times but none more powerful than this one.  There i stood in stark contrast with the man sitting so close to Her, the man who would make love to Her shortly, and the man who's hand She was holding.  It was like what happened made everything irreversible, exposing me as the submissive cuckold.  Even the lovemaking that took place later didn't have as powerful a message.

i joined them briefly with a glass of wine.  Brian had a few mushrooms and told me they were excellent.  Diane commented on how good a cook i was but didn't have any.  i felt awkward sitting there, still in my apron and almost afraid to take it off.  It wasn't long before Diane said it was probably time for "us to go upstairs" and then saying that She'd let me know if and when they would want dinner.

Soon after i heard the door close upstairs i heard Diane laugh a bit and a few moments later the shower was running.  i envisioned them embracing in the shower and doing what two people who haven't seen each other in awhile would be doing.  i felt like a failure as a man and i know i am.  i'm also embarrassed to say that the thoughts going through my mind turned me on.  Later, i became uncomfortable when i could hear the lovemaking from where i was sitting in the living room.  i turned the television on to watch a basketball game and drown out the sounds from upstairs.

A few hours later, Diane came out of the room and called down to me, saying that She and Brian would probably be coming down to fix some sandwiches in a little while and that i could go to bed if i wanted to.  She did have one request - that i go get Brian's overnight bag in the car, since he had decided to spend the night.  i went outside to get the bag from his car after removing my apron and brought it to her upstairs.  She kissed me good night and said "Thank you, you were fantastic tonight" and went back into our bedroom. 

i went to bed shortly thereafter and heard them go downstairs.  i heard their lovemaking before they fell asleep and again this morning when i was up early. i made coffee and Brian came down first, telling me that Diane wanted him to tell me She'd be going into the office later this morning.  i offered him coffee which he took but didn't want anything for breakfast.  He thanked me for the coffee and after a few awkward moments said "Look i know last night had to be difficult but i just wanted to say thanks."    Was i supposed to say "you're welcome"???  All i could think of was to say "No problem."  With that, he said "Thanks" and a "see you later."

Diane didn't wait long to call me upstairs.  She had me sit on the bed next to Her and thanked me for what i'd done, again telling me how "great" or "fantastic" i was.  We talked and i told Her how Brian didn't seem very anxious or nervous at all in my opinion.  i asked Her if She had just been telling me that to lessen my own anxieties.  She smiled and denied it, saying that he was indeed a little nervous and surprised Her at how well he handled things.

Eventually, i found myself between her legs, where Brian had been probably a half hour ago.  The taste and smell i experienced as i licked Her was as fresh as i've ever experienced.

When i was done, i happened to notice Brian's overnight bag in the corner of the room.  Diane saw me looking at it and said "Oh, I asked him to stay over tonight also.  I think it will be a little less stressful."  As usual, She's probably right.  

i apologize for the long post and hope you didn't get bored.  A blogger who i admire once told me to write a blog for yourself and not for the people who read it.  It's good advice.

love,

terri

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The Cuckold Night Finally Arrives - i Think

Tonight's the night, or at least I think it is going to be.  If it is at all possible, Brian is just as nervous or maybe even more so than i am.  That's according to Diane.  When She called me this morning to update me, i just had to ask Her if She was just saying that to help calm me down.  She swears She's telling me the truth, even saying that he's so nervous She hopes he's still able to "perform" tonight.

i've gone over things with Diane numerous times and i'm prepared as can be for tonight.  The plan is for Diane to get here with Brian between 5:30 and 6:00 PM.  She wants to relax a bit and just spend some time talking and breaking the ice.  i've met Brian before, but so very far removed from these current circumstances that i don't think our previous interactions help at all.

Diane's tasked me with doing my utmost best to make Brian feel as comfortable as possible.  i'm supposed to do this without any overt references to cuckolding but to make him feel like i am totally accepting of his making love to my wife.  She'll be able to take it from there.  i'll serve them drinks and Diane will tell me to join them while we talk.  At the right time, She's going to dismiss me and eventually they will find their way upstairs.

A couple of things are still very much "up in the air."  The first is how i'm to be dressed when they get here.  Diane's still undecided but right now, She thinks it might be best that i dress in casual male clothing other than my undergarments.  She'll call me with more specific instructions early enough for me to change if necessary. The other thing that's going to be a spur of the moment call will be my involvement, if any, in whatever intimate time they spend together.  "I'm definitely going to have to play that by ear" Diane said, "depending on how relaxed I can get him."

As for myself, i could definitely use a couple of Valiums!!!

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An Anxious Sissy Cuckold

i'm anxious about what's going to take place this week.  My last few posts have been about various sissy and feminine things and i've avoided the topic of my cuckolding.  It's the elephant in the room sort of thing and i really didn't want to talk about it.

This week, Brian is going to be coming into town for not just one, but two nights.  He called Diane yesterday with the news and they spent nearly an hour on the phone.  It was a conversation that took place with Diane moving around the house while talking, making sure She wasn't within hearing distance when there were things She didn't want me to hear.

Towards the end of the conversation, Diane motioned for me to come kneel next to her.  She sat on the loveseat in our living room and removed her shoes and pointed for me to massage her feet while She talked with Brian.  When I had massaged both of them, i began to kiss them.  She didn't have to tell me.  i knew it was what She wanted.

i listened humiliatingly to Her side of the conversation.  The continuous referrals to me with the use of feminine pronouns and Diane telling Brian that i was prepared to be a very good cuckold.  "Of course she's nervous, but I think you're more nervous than she is" Diane told him.  The whole conversation, scene and setting made me realize just how far both of us had gone; Diane with Her Dominance and i with my submission.

Diane's always told me that i could back out if i wanted to.  After She hung up the phone, She looked at me and said "So, are you ready?"  i hesitated a bit and finally told Her i was.

"You're probably more ready than Brian is" She said, with a hint of annoyance in Her tone.

Brian is here Wednesday and Thursday night.  In some ways, i wish it was tonight.  The wait and anxiety is getting to me. 

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More Sissy New Year's Resolutions

Here are a few more that i will try to abide by, all with Diane's encouragement and approval by the way!

She definitely wants me to stay in shape.

Sometimes she thinks my colors are boring.  "Do something besides pink for a change" She says.

And lastly, accessories are something i need to focus on.  i think they can open up a whole new world of femininity for me.

Love,

terri

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A Sissy's New Years Resolutions

I have several New Year's resolutions.  Here are a couple to start with.

First....

And one more....

I think both of these could be fun :)

Love,

sissy terri

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The Woman Inside

This year we traveled to celebrate New Year's with family.  We're still away and won't be back home until this weekend.  Diane's practice is closed and i don't have any consulting work lined up until mid-January so there is no rush to get back.  At least for me there isn't.  Diane misses the sex She has with Brian and they've talked a few times while we've been here.

Traveling and staying with family hasn't absolved me from being Diane's submissive "wife."  i'm still required to wear feminine undergarments all the time and i'm thankful for that.  Wearing male underwear just doesn't feel natural anymore.  Diane's insistence that i wear at least three items of female clothing all the time is not as difficult to follow.   Panties, hosiery of some sort and sports bras are pretty easy to conceal. 

Even though i'm used to wearing these things (and more) on a regular basis they still serve to remind me of my femininity and "the woman inside" of me.  The clothing may only be underneath my male clothes, but the femininity is deep inside. 

Staying with family makes it a little more difficult to blog but i hope I can post at least one more time before we leave.   i've continued to log on to tumblr (usually late at night or when i can) and posted some things i consider to be pretty and feminine.  i hope you enjoy my blog there as well. 

Happy New Year to everyone.  i'm anxious about 2013, wondering how my next step in the cuckolding process is going to go.  The anxiety is lessened by Diane's continued reassurances and Her expressions of love.  That's why i'm hopeful that 2013 will be a very good year.  i hope it is for all of you as well!

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