For years i struggled with my inner self, trying desperately to convince myself that i fell into the category of a totally heterosexual male who just simply enjoyed wearing female lingerie. Those years weren't time well spent. You can often convince others of a falsehood (let's call it a lie), but you can never convince yourself.
The more i dressed, the greater the urges became to be with a man, to be submissive to him and ultimately to be there for his pleasure. Coming to grips with my bisexuality and its urges has made me a happier person in so many different ways.
By the same token, when i'm not dressed and forced to be in a totally male persona, i have absolutely no interest in being sexual with another man. i've never done anything with another man unless i've been dressed. That doesn't mean that i'm not bisexual. It's just that my bisexuality is driven by my femme side and only expresses itself when that comes out.
So...thank you Candi for such a beautiful post!!! We can't wait until you write again.
My much anticipated meeting with Jake on Friday went well, but not as sexually exciting as i was hoping. His request that i wear some of Diane's lingerie had my mind racing in so many different directions.
Jake was a little late and we were pressed for time which didn't help things. i did feel kinky wearing Diane's bra and panties and later a nightie, but i don't think Jake appreciated or took advantage of it like i would have wanted him to.
He also presented me with a little belated Christmas gift - a lavender babydoll pajama set and a gift card from Victoria's Secret! Pretty hot, even though he admitted that he bought them while he was there shopping for his wife! i would have found it exciting if he told the sales girls the items were for his girlfriend....lol.
The bottom line is that i really want Jake to be more dominant with me. In so many different ways. i want to be there for his sexual and other pleasures. i'd love to be his maid, his submissive wife, his slut, his whatever-he-wants-me-to-be!!! While i was on my knees and sucking him the other day, the television was playing and he was laying back on the leather sofa. It was such a submissive feeling. i would have loved him to be more verbal with me or ignore me by channel surfing or talking on the phone! Or maybe even tell me to stop and go into the kitchen and get him a beer!
i'd obey, return with the beer and return to my sissy duties. It would also be sexier if he didn't even say "Thanks."
i wish our sex was a little kinkier also. Maybe a few more spankings? How about some light bondage? A little rougher when he uses me orally? i've already told him how much i love it when he talks dirty to me and is verbally dominant. A submissive sissy can stand a little verbal humiliation.
He doesn't have to worry about that.
And speaking of gifts. Some day it might be nice to open one and instead of finding a cute pair of panties or some other naughty piece of lingerie, i'd see a cute pink ball gag.Maybe i'll buy him one of these for his birthday. Think he'd get the hint?
love,
sissy terri
