Cuckold Frustrations

Today is Wednesday, better known as "Cuckold Day" here at our house.  It's the day that barring any scheduling conflicts, excessive workloads or any other of life's distractions, Diane gets to spend some late afternoon time with Her lover Paul here in our home. 

When it comes to their Wednesday afternoon "dates" there's not much that i'm told ahead of time.  Information is fed to me in pieces if at all and as Diane put it once before, it's "on a need to know basis."  Obviously, there's very little need for me to know. 

Now that my cuckolding is out in the open with Paul, the lack of certainty and all the ambiguity about what's going to take place on any given Wednesday can be very frustrating.  i'm beginning to think it's even more frustrating than it was before, when the full aspects of of my submission to Diane was revealed to Paul. 

It's just a little past noon here and i'm not even sure if Paul and Diane are coming over later this afternoon.  Diane wasn't sure this morning when She left, indicating that both She and Paul had very full schedules today but that i should go about my day as usual, planning for them to be here around 3:00 PM or shortly thereafter.

"My day" as Diane puts it is a rather full one.  The list of things to do is longer than usual, even though it doesn't include a trip to Victoria's Secret that Paul alluded to in an email to me a few days ago.  That's another frustration, since he hasn't corresponded since.  i've also got plenty of laundry to do, a pile that includes many of Diane's "summer clothes" that were taken out because of the warming weather.  Much of it has to be ironed as well.  There were errands to run which i completed this morning so that i could change into my maids uniform for the indoor domestic duties. 

And so i wait.  There's still plenty to do and it's unlikely i'll be done by the time they arrive if they come at all.  The workload makes me wonder if Diane planned it that way so that when they were here making love in our bed, Her sissy wife would be busy doing chores in Her maids uniform - a heavy dose of sissy cuckold humiliation.  Or maybe She wanted to keep me busy in case they didn't show up.

i always over-think these things.  It's my personality and it's who i am.  And part of it is my craving for attention.  All submissives need it i suppose.  Diane says it's my poorly-disguised attempts to "top from the bottom."

Whatever it is, She takes full advantage of it.

love,

sissy terri

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Sissy's Big Day

Each year around this time, we host some friends who take a week or so to visit us and enjoy the warmer weather our climate here has to offer.  They're good friends but neither of them knows about our lifestyle so their presence tends to put a bit of a damper on things.  The two of them stay with us much of the time they're here but also do some traveling and touristy things while in the region on their own. 

Both of them are golfers and when they're here i always play a few rounds of golf with them and they'll also play quite a few on their own.  They arrive this coming Friday and we've already set a couple of tee times for next Saturday and Monday.  Their presence here will likely cramp both our styles a bit, but particularly Diane's.  With my cuckolding now totally in the "open" with Paul, their trysts here in our home don't have to be as carefully planned.  As Diane so aptly put it to me last week "Our marital bed is his to use whenever we choose." 

That's very true and i've accepted it.  But with vanilla house guests, it's going to be back to some careful planning and maybe even an alternate venue for their lovemaking.  When i talked to Diane last night on the phone (She returns today from the frigid temps of the Northeast) She was quick to tease me and point out that fortunately "....they don't arrive until Friday, so sissy's big day on Wednesday won't be affected."

i am always shocked and embarrassed at how easily and quickly i get aroused by some sarcastic or teasing little comment that Diane might make.  i don't know if other submissives have the same reaction to things like that, but She no sooner had said "sissy's big day" that i could sense some stirring in my CB-3000 along with some slight blushing even though there was no one around to see it.  Visions of this coming Wednesday when i get to meet Paul when he arrives for an afternoon of sex with Diane.  i remained aroused (and continued fantasizing) through the rest of our conversations.  It also helps that Diane referred to me in the third person.  That's another little quirk that turns me on.  Yes, i am indeed a strange sissy.

Had our guests been arriving a few days earlier, my introduction to Paul as a full cuckold and submissive would be delayed even more than it already has.  The anxiety that i bring upon myself as the big day approaches would have an extra week or two to build up.  Instead, i've only got another four days to go. 

i'm glad it's turning out this way.  i can't stand the wait for "sissy's big day."

love,

sissy terri

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A Cuckold Announcement

Last night Diane and i hosted Linda, Diane's closest friend.  Linda is very much aware of our lifestyle and has seen me dressed many times.  As ordinary and routine as it's become, i'm always a little nervous just before She comes over.  Last night was no different but like always it took little time for me to feel at ease.

When Linda arrived She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek, told me i looked "as pretty as always" and complimented me on my apron.  "Do I detect a hint of perfume" She asked me teasingly.  i wasn't wearing any and just laughed.  

Not much phases Linda.  She's very accepting of things and has told me several times that my dressing and submission to Diane is no big deal.  She's even flirted with me a few times but made it perfectly clear it's just that; nothing but flirting.  "You belong to Diane, and Diane alone" she says.  Last night as i went about preparing some snacks and sandwiches for the game while wearing one of my frilly aprons, She eve commented how lucky Diane was to have such a "doting wife" and gave me a playful pat on the butt, right in front of Diane....and they both laughed about it!

We had some wine and snacks before the game started and some light sandwiches once it got going.  There wasn't much clean up so i actually got to watch most of the game with the two of them.  i was just like one of the girls and the conversation was pretty normal...until halftime.

Halftime was when Diane announced to Linda that Paul would be coming over on Wednesday afternoon like he usually does but this time, "terri will be here and won't be hiding this time.  It's all in the open now between the three of us."  Diane looked at me as She made the announcement.  It was said as if i had already known about it, but I hadn't been forewarned at all.  This was the first i heard of it.  i tried to act like i already knew.

"Wow" Linda said looking at me. "That is sooo nice.  You must both be very excited!"  Looking at me Linda asked "And terri, you must be a little nervous?"

i could feel myself blushing and answered politely that i was, but i thought things would work out well

"I'm assuming you're going to be dressed?  Have you decided what you're going to wear?" She asked me.

"I haven't decided yet" Diane quickly interjected with a laugh, with Linda joining in the frivolity as well.  "Oh I forgot!" Linda said, having fun at the realization that those type of decisions were Diane's.  They'd both had two glasses of wine and despite being sober, seemed quite playful.  "Whatever it is, I'm sure you'll look just gorgeous" Linda said smiling broadly and looking at me.

Linda could tell i was a bit embarrassed and said "Awww, no need to blush.  It'll be fun.  Just relax.  I know Paul and he's a great guy.  Just enjoy it!"

The conversation didn't stop there but shifted to one that was more between Linda and Diane, with Linda curious to find out how Diane pulled all this off and how She was able to convince Paul to get me involved.  Diane explained some things to Her, almost ignoring my presence and referring to me in the feminine sense saying "she" and "her" when appropriate.

"We'll have more wine" She said at one point in the conversation.  i took both glasses from them and refilled them in the kitchen.  When i left Diane began talking in a hushed voice and i couldn't make out what She was saying to Linda.  Obviously, She'd wanted me out of the room.  i took the hint and took my time in order to give them some privacy.

i finally served them their wine and the conversation continued until the second half began.  We watched the game, Diane appeared to exchange texts with Paul a few times and overall had a good time.  There was no more talk of Diane's date with Paul on Wednesday and my involvement whatever it might be.  And neither one of them took more than a sip or two of the wine Diane had asked that i get for them.

Linda was as happy as could be with the game.  Her team was in control throughout and won easily.  During the entire second half there was no talk about Diane's date with Paul on Wednesday at all.  My presence there while dressed like one of the girls and the announcement of my "cuckolding" with Paul never came up once.  Linda was just totally into her Buckeyes.

My "cuckold introduction" to Paul is happening much sooner than i thought it would.  i haven't even had a chance to use that Victoria's Secret gift card yet!

love,

sissy terri

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Wanton Wednesdays

Wednesday afternoons have become a regular thing for Diane and Her lover Paul.  Their schedules are such that most weeks they have those afternoons free.  What better way to spend them then to have "great sex" with each other. 

Like other men who are having an affair, Paul usually tells his wife that he's either taking the afternoon off to play golf, stay in the office to catch up on a few things, or make up some other commitment he has to meet.

Unlike most other women who are having an affair, Diane simply tells Her submissive sissy cuckold what She's doing.  It's a much simpler and more honest approach that eliminates most all possibilities of "problems" on our end. 

Just as i was boarding a plane to return home late on Wednesday, Diane was probably kissing Paul good bye in the foyer of our home after another satisfying afternoon of carnal activities.  By the time i got home several hours later, Diane's afterglow had subsided but She was still in a very good mood.  Her demeanor, attitude and disposition was evidence that sexual satisfaction certainly does help keep some people happy. 

i've also found that recently, the sex Diane has with Paul hasn't diminished Her appetite for the type of sex She enjoys with me.  In fact i think it's made Her want it more.  She wasted little time last night telling me that She wanted "a worshiping."  i wasted little time in in providing Her with one.

After i'd pleasured Her and Her orgasm was complete, She told me how She'd really love it if i could do this to Her while She was having sex with Paul.  She's talked about this in some ways before but most of the time it's been while She's teasing me about being Her cuckold, cleaning Her after or during sex with Paul and other similar type fantasies.  This time She was more direct, telling me it's become Her biggest fantasy. 

There was a bit of an uncomfortable silence after She said this.  i felt She was waiting for me to say something.  i was thinking about how it was also a fantasy of mine, but also wondering about how i could go through with it in front of Paul.  He's someone i know through our professional relationship.  Finally i broke the silence and asked Diane if She thought it would ever happen?

"Working on it" She answered in a very businesslike manner.  "Good things take time" She said and after a pause added "Great things take a little longer."

Knowing that this is something that Diane really wants, if the situation ever presented itself and both She and Paul are ready to move forward, i'd fall in line and do whatever She wanted.  i just love Her so much.

love,

sissy terri

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Deeper Submission, Cuckolding & Daddy's Little Girl

This may sound so silly to my readers - if i still have any left after not posting in so long - but i've been a little anxious about posting.  i have so much that i want to share and that's part of the problem.  The length of time between posts causes this, but so do the emotional swings i'm going through.  i'll do my best to get my feelings "out there" and hope you all understand.

Diane has fully embraced Her dominant role in our marriage, something that i never thought would happen when all of this first started.  i can honestly say that She is now far more dominant than i ever imagined She'd be, and it often goes further than i want it to.  She's come to the conclusion that it's what She wants, and knows She can have it. 

Diane's quest to find a lover took a break while we were on vacation for a little more than two weeks.  She continued to correspond a little with the three men She had decided were worth pursuing, but during that correspondence, She realized that only one was the type of man She was looking for.  During this time, She also shared with me that there was another man.  It was someone She worked with and they'd exchanged a few casual flirtatious remarks.  They have a lunch date scheduled next week. 

When we returned from vacation, Diane had a meeting with the lone gentleman from Her initial search and it was a huge disappointment.  He misrepresented his physical description for starters.  Diane wanted someone at least 5'11" or taller.  His claim that he was 6'0" was an obvious lie.  Less obvious was his misstating his professional status.  There was no attraction whatsoever. 

Diane's new potential lover does pose a few minor problems.  For starters, it's never a good idea to mix work with any type of romance.  However, the nature of their profession and the difference in their positions makes it a bit easier.   The other issue is that Diane and I both had the same profession, only in different fields, and I know this man.  He's not a close friend but we do know one another.  He's younger than the both of us, very good looking and masculine and it's obvious why a woman would be attracted to him.  He's also married. 

Diane definitely has a physical attraction to "Paul" and knows that he has one for Her.  Last week She told me that She's not going to insist that Paul agree to full blown cuckolding like She insisted upon with other suitors.  Instead, if he needs reassurance, She's going to tell him about our "arrangement."  Not all of it, but basically that She can have a lover if She wants.  In Her opinion, if Paul is into the whole cuckolding thing, then it's "a bonus."

My ultimate cuckold fantasies of being present when another man makes love to my wife and all the different things that can take place may never be realized.  That's not necessarily a bad thing.  i'm having a difficult time accepting some aspects of my increasingly submissive role in my marriage, so i'm sure i'd have a more difficult time with the extreme cuckolding.

i'm also seeing Jake again and that's fulfilling my bisexual and feminine needs.  He's become a bit more aggressive with me and i wonder if that will continue and if so, how far he wants to go.  The last time we were together he really enjoyed calling me "Daddy's little girl" while i sucked him.  i loved it.

i'll try to post more often.  Promise.

love,

sissy terri

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The Absent Cuckold

Let me begin by apologizing for the lack of updates this past week.  i know it's just a blog and i don't need to provide it's readers with a daily accounting of my whereabouts and goings on (i do for Diane though) but i also don't like to go more than a few days without posting.

We had guests here last weekend and into Monday.  Diane's cousin and her husband stayed with us for a few days.  In every blog i've read that discusses D/s lifestyles, visitors usually put a serious damper on things when they're around.  This was no different when it comes to our own lifestyle.  Fortunately, they are wonderful people and it was nice to see them again.

i also had to leave Tuesday for a longer-than-anticipated business trip.  i didn't return until late yesterday afternoon so in essence, it's been more than a week where i haven't been able to get into my regular "submissive wife and cuckold" routine.  Although, Diane was able to proceed without me.  And from what i can gather, without much trouble.

After about a month without seeing Brian, they finally got together for not just one, but two nights here in our home.  Brian got into town on Wednesday and didn't leave until midday on Friday.  According to Diane, "he made himself right at home here."

They had spoken over the weekend and Diane knew that he was going to be staying two nights.  She was disappointed that i wouldn't be around.  It had been a month or maybe a little more since She'd seen Brian and had me present in our home when they made love and She was pleased with the progress i was making as a cuckold.  As time's gone by since their last time, She's been concerned that my anxiety about the whole thing would return.  So, She would have preferred me to be present.

Diane was also just as concerned about Brian's anxiety with regards to my more active involvement as the submissive sissy cuckold.  But based upon my conversation with Her on Thursday night, shortly after they made love (for the first time), i don't think Brian is as anxious about it as She thought.  "Brian says hello" Diane told me as we talked and then said "He also wishes you were here."  i didn't have a very good response to that and just said "Oh really?  Why is that?"  "Don't be silly.  Why do you think he wants you here?  Probably the same reason I do" She answered.

i followed up on that last night with Diane after i had served dinner and cleaned up around the kitchen.  She told me they had a long conversation on Thursday night (lots of "pillow talk" she called it) much of it to do with my role as a cuckold.  She told me that Brian now has a better understanding of our relationship and is eager to move forward.  "He likes the idea of being the man who's cuckolding you" Diane said.  "It probably feeds his ego.  He also loves how obedient you are to me."

Now i'm the one who's nervous and anxious.  He's supposed to visit again next week!

love,

sissy terri

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My Cuckold Night

Up until last night, Diane's "affair" with Brian as real as it was, always felt like it was taking place in some type of make believe place.  i knew it was happening and in the most intimate of ways, experienced the unique taste, feel and smell of a woman who has been made love to by another man.  As real as my cuckolding was, the actual act of my wife having sex with another man wasn't taking place when i was under the same roof, or within earshot of the distinct sounds of very passionate lovemaking.

All of that changed last night, and everything happened so much faster than i ever thought it would.  The "ice breaking" time where we would sit and socialize for a little while to relax just whizzed by.  i no sooner had sat down after serving Diane and Brian drinks and appetizers that i was sent upstairs to "take down the bed and put some towels out" by my Wife.   "We may decide to take a shower first, or later" She giggled.  But, i'm getting a little bit ahead of myself here.

Yesterday afternoon, Diane called and told me She enjoyed my blog post.  i know She reads the blog but doesn't always discuss it with me (i am still waiting for Her to post, something She continuously promises She will do), in fact She rarely does.  But yesterday, She thought i should follow the suggestion of one of my readers, Serendipity, who gave her the idea that maybe i should dress in a more subdued feminine manner.  "I like the idea of you in some chic slacks, a blouse and some flats.  Maybe just a hint of makeup and nothing else" She said.  It was more than a suggestion and i didn't have a choice.  "And the undergarments go without saying" She added.

We also discussed dinner and a few other minor details.  i would prepare dinner when they were ready for it.  It could be either before or after they spent some time together.  i had some fish for grilling and a salad would be made.  i also had some stuffed mushrooms as appetizers ready to serve with their drinks when they first arrived.

i wore black ladies slacks that had a zipper up the back.  i have two very similar pairs, one is a size 10 and the other a 12.  i went back and forth on which pair i was going to wear.  i look better in the size 10 but i thought they were a little too tight and made me look more femme.  i originally chose the 12's, but changed at the last minute.  i knew Diane would notice and probably ask me later why i chose my "baggy" slacks.  i wore a white bra, white panties with a touch of lace on the front panel and a pair of taupe colored pantyhose.  A pair of black flats with a silver bow shaped buckle on them finished it off.  Honestly, i initially thought it was a great idea for a more subtle femme appearance and it probably was when you consider this being mine and Brian's first time to meet under these circumstances but as far as i was concerned, i might just as well have been wearing a bouffant gown with layers and layers of petticoats.  That's how femme and sissylike i felt.

Brian arrived with Diane at 5:45 exactly.  i saw the clock when i heard their cars pull into our driveway.  They entered together through the entryway from the garage where Diane parked Her SUV.  The initial greeting wasn't as awkward as i thought but still a little humiliating.  First, Diane said hello and gave me a peck on the cheek and told me i looked very nice.  "You remember Brian" She said as he extended his hand for me to shake.  i said hello and asked how he was doing.  What a stupid question!

Then, Diane shocked me She said "Princess, why don't you get me a glass of wine and ask Brian what he'd like to drink then join us in the living room for cocktails."  She'd sometimes referred to me as "Princess", but only in very intimate moments or when She wanted to tease and embarrass me.  This time, i blushed with embarrassment and Brian seemed to smile a little.  i tried to sort of brush aside the comment and quickly asked him what he would like.  After he said he'd just have a beer if i had one, Diane interjected and said "Go ahead, have a Manhattan and relax."  i don't think he really wanted one, but agreed with Diane's suggestion and off i went to prepare the drinks.

A few minutes later i entered the living room with their drinks, a glass of Chianti for Diane and Brian's Manhattan.  As i served the drinks, Diane looked at me puzzled and said "Uh....did we forget something?"  i thought everything was fine, other than maybe the appetizers which i was planning to bring out next.  i told Diane that i'd get the stuffed mushrooms.  "No.....it's not the mushrooms.  What are we missing?  What do we always wear when serving?" She asked.  i knew the answer and said "You're right.  I'm sorry" i answered and returned to the kitchen.  When i returned with the mushrooms, i was wearing a white bib apron with ruffled trim.  "Much better" Diane smiled.  This time, in addition to his smile, there was a little chuckle from Brian.

To me, the moment when i returned with the apron was the most telling moment of the evening.  My submission to Diane was on full display in front of Brian. She's expressed Her dominance over me on many, many times but none more powerful than this one.  There i stood in stark contrast with the man sitting so close to Her, the man who would make love to Her shortly, and the man who's hand She was holding.  It was like what happened made everything irreversible, exposing me as the submissive cuckold.  Even the lovemaking that took place later didn't have as powerful a message.

i joined them briefly with a glass of wine.  Brian had a few mushrooms and told me they were excellent.  Diane commented on how good a cook i was but didn't have any.  i felt awkward sitting there, still in my apron and almost afraid to take it off.  It wasn't long before Diane said it was probably time for "us to go upstairs" and then saying that She'd let me know if and when they would want dinner.

Soon after i heard the door close upstairs i heard Diane laugh a bit and a few moments later the shower was running.  i envisioned them embracing in the shower and doing what two people who haven't seen each other in awhile would be doing.  i felt like a failure as a man and i know i am.  i'm also embarrassed to say that the thoughts going through my mind turned me on.  Later, i became uncomfortable when i could hear the lovemaking from where i was sitting in the living room.  i turned the television on to watch a basketball game and drown out the sounds from upstairs.

A few hours later, Diane came out of the room and called down to me, saying that She and Brian would probably be coming down to fix some sandwiches in a little while and that i could go to bed if i wanted to.  She did have one request - that i go get Brian's overnight bag in the car, since he had decided to spend the night.  i went outside to get the bag from his car after removing my apron and brought it to her upstairs.  She kissed me good night and said "Thank you, you were fantastic tonight" and went back into our bedroom. 

i went to bed shortly thereafter and heard them go downstairs.  i heard their lovemaking before they fell asleep and again this morning when i was up early. i made coffee and Brian came down first, telling me that Diane wanted him to tell me She'd be going into the office later this morning.  i offered him coffee which he took but didn't want anything for breakfast.  He thanked me for the coffee and after a few awkward moments said "Look i know last night had to be difficult but i just wanted to say thanks."    Was i supposed to say "you're welcome"???  All i could think of was to say "No problem."  With that, he said "Thanks" and a "see you later."

Diane didn't wait long to call me upstairs.  She had me sit on the bed next to Her and thanked me for what i'd done, again telling me how "great" or "fantastic" i was.  We talked and i told Her how Brian didn't seem very anxious or nervous at all in my opinion.  i asked Her if She had just been telling me that to lessen my own anxieties.  She smiled and denied it, saying that he was indeed a little nervous and surprised Her at how well he handled things.

Eventually, i found myself between her legs, where Brian had been probably a half hour ago.  The taste and smell i experienced as i licked Her was as fresh as i've ever experienced.

When i was done, i happened to notice Brian's overnight bag in the corner of the room.  Diane saw me looking at it and said "Oh, I asked him to stay over tonight also.  I think it will be a little less stressful."  As usual, She's probably right.  

i apologize for the long post and hope you didn't get bored.  A blogger who i admire once told me to write a blog for yourself and not for the people who read it.  It's good advice.

love,

terri

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The Cuckold Night Finally Arrives - i Think

Tonight's the night, or at least I think it is going to be.  If it is at all possible, Brian is just as nervous or maybe even more so than i am.  That's according to Diane.  When She called me this morning to update me, i just had to ask Her if She was just saying that to help calm me down.  She swears She's telling me the truth, even saying that he's so nervous She hopes he's still able to "perform" tonight.

i've gone over things with Diane numerous times and i'm prepared as can be for tonight.  The plan is for Diane to get here with Brian between 5:30 and 6:00 PM.  She wants to relax a bit and just spend some time talking and breaking the ice.  i've met Brian before, but so very far removed from these current circumstances that i don't think our previous interactions help at all.

Diane's tasked me with doing my utmost best to make Brian feel as comfortable as possible.  i'm supposed to do this without any overt references to cuckolding but to make him feel like i am totally accepting of his making love to my wife.  She'll be able to take it from there.  i'll serve them drinks and Diane will tell me to join them while we talk.  At the right time, She's going to dismiss me and eventually they will find their way upstairs.

A couple of things are still very much "up in the air."  The first is how i'm to be dressed when they get here.  Diane's still undecided but right now, She thinks it might be best that i dress in casual male clothing other than my undergarments.  She'll call me with more specific instructions early enough for me to change if necessary. The other thing that's going to be a spur of the moment call will be my involvement, if any, in whatever intimate time they spend together.  "I'm definitely going to have to play that by ear" Diane said, "depending on how relaxed I can get him."

As for myself, i could definitely use a couple of Valiums!!!

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An Anxious Sissy Cuckold

i'm anxious about what's going to take place this week.  My last few posts have been about various sissy and feminine things and i've avoided the topic of my cuckolding.  It's the elephant in the room sort of thing and i really didn't want to talk about it.

This week, Brian is going to be coming into town for not just one, but two nights.  He called Diane yesterday with the news and they spent nearly an hour on the phone.  It was a conversation that took place with Diane moving around the house while talking, making sure She wasn't within hearing distance when there were things She didn't want me to hear.

Towards the end of the conversation, Diane motioned for me to come kneel next to her.  She sat on the loveseat in our living room and removed her shoes and pointed for me to massage her feet while She talked with Brian.  When I had massaged both of them, i began to kiss them.  She didn't have to tell me.  i knew it was what She wanted.

i listened humiliatingly to Her side of the conversation.  The continuous referrals to me with the use of feminine pronouns and Diane telling Brian that i was prepared to be a very good cuckold.  "Of course she's nervous, but I think you're more nervous than she is" Diane told him.  The whole conversation, scene and setting made me realize just how far both of us had gone; Diane with Her Dominance and i with my submission.

Diane's always told me that i could back out if i wanted to.  After She hung up the phone, She looked at me and said "So, are you ready?"  i hesitated a bit and finally told Her i was.

"You're probably more ready than Brian is" She said, with a hint of annoyance in Her tone.

Brian is here Wednesday and Thursday night.  In some ways, i wish it was tonight.  The wait and anxiety is getting to me. 

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Still Her Sissy Wife

"I'm happy for you" Diane said as we sat down for the dinner i had prepared for her last night.  She was referring to my meeting Jake and how things seemed to be going so well.  She had just asked me when i would be seeing him next and i had told Her that our plan was to try to get together on Monday.

It seems like even though we still have plenty of intimacy with one another, albeit not the type a traditional marriage would have, that we are sort of leading parallel lives.  She has Her thing with Brian, and i have my thing with Jake.

i thanked Her for the comment as i took off my apron and got ready to take my place at the dining room table.  "I'd prefer you keep the apron on" Diane said, "it looks  nice on you."  i returned to the kitchen and put it back on and then sat down to enjoy dinner.

There was a long period of silence, though it didn't seem necessarily awkward, until i asked Her when She was seeing Brian next.  "Not until next week at the earliest" She said, answering as if i had interrupted some sort of deep thought process She was going through.  It was evident that i had, as the next words out of Her mouth were "I was just thinking..."

She proceeded to let me in on some of the things She had been discussing with Brian, and Her plans to "somehow introduce cuckolding into our mix."  Basically, Diane's continued to drop some hints to Brian about cuckolding, although She wasn't very specific about them other than to say he gets turned on knowing he's "fucking another man's wife."

"You know, the more I think about it the more I'm convinced that the best way to segue into the cuckolding conversation with him is to let him know that I'm dominant in our relationship" She said.  i was very surprised but not shocked.  After all, if full fledged in person cuckolding were to take place, my submission to Diane would become readily apparent.  "You know, let him know that I wear the pants in the house, not you.  I think it would lay a good foundation to move forward and remove some fears he might have of rocking the boat."

While we talked about it for just a little while longer, She didn't directly ask for my opinion.  She knows it's something i want, but understands that i'm very apprehensive about moving forward.  She did listen to me and i appreciated that.  i doubt very much that Diane won't follow through with this.  It may take Her longer than She'd like, but eventually i know She's going to bring it up to Brian.

Later as i cleared the dishes and cleaned up in the kitchen while still in my apron, Diane thanked me for a wonderful dinner.  Before She left to go into our living room She gave me a peck on the cheek and said "I know you're having a wonderful time with Jake and enjoying yourself.  I am happy for you.  But don't forget that you're still my sissy wife.  Your wifely duties to me come first, and the always will."

It was a less-than-subtle reminder, and it was nice to hear. 

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Assisting with Phone Sex

It's been nearly two weeks since i saw Jake and a little less since Diane's seen Brian.  An odd situation isn't it?  A Dominant Wife is missing Her lover while Her submissive cuckold loving is missing her boyfriend.  Too bizarre for most people i would think.

i'm planning to see Jake on Friday and Diane is probably not going to see Brian until at least next week.  Even though they haven't seen one another, She still talks to him nearly every day and during some of those conversations, i'm expected to play the dutiful quiet cuckold and listen to one side of what is sometimes a very steamy conversation. 

Such a conversation took place last night after dinner.  Brian found himself alone and called Diane, who promptly told him She happened to be alone also; a cue that She was ready for some erotic talk.  A few hand signals from Her and i was kneeling between Her legs while She sat on the leather sofa in our den.  Another hand signal and i was in the linen closet down the hall getting a towel for Her to sit on after She removed her slacks, panties and knee high hosiery. 

i wasn't allowed to touch or kiss Her at first.  Instead, she talked with Brian while She used Her own fingers on Herself, something that drove me absolutely nuts.  When She was ready, She simply lifted one leg and put Her foot behind my head and pulled me closer until She could reach my head with Her hand and hold it against her very wet vagina. 

Between Brian's lusty comments, including some mild bondage and spanking fantasies where Diane submitted to him, and my licking Her, it didn't take long for Her to orgasm.  But She wanted more and held me in place; definitely a non-verbal command that i wasn't done and neither was She.  There were two more orgasms in rather rapid succession before i was dismissed. 

When it was over i thought about the conversation i had just heard between the two of them, and how certain things they talked about, and specific things that Brian said turned Diane on more than others.  Even though i could only hear portions of what Brian said, i did hear most of it and was easy to make out the conversation between that and Diane's own responses.

When you're close up like i was, it's easy to gauge the effect of certain things that were said on Diane.  Her moans, verbal responses, twitches and yes, most of all, how much wetter she got at times.  They were specific responses to the verbal stimuli Brian was providing.  Knowing that another man is physically pleasing your Wife like a real man should, and hearing how he can also verbally please Her is quite an experience.  i'd seen it before, but not as intense as last night. 

After Diane hung up, She asked "You like that didn't you?" 

i was hard, and the little bump in my panties was clear.  How could i deny it.  She knew i wanted to play with myself and let me masturbate like a sissy.  She let me cum on her pretty feet and made me clean it up telling me what a good sissy i was.  The submission was deep but as soon as i came, i felt like i did when i masturbated as a teenager with a pair of my sisters panties.  i felt like a freak of some sorts and so inferior.

Eventually i got over it.  i know i'm not a freak, but just a very submissive cuckold. 

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Cuckolding Indifference

Diane had Brian over one night this week while i was out of town.  He didn't spend the night even though She wanted him to.  He needed to get back to his hotel room at a decent hour just in case his wife were to call him.  Even though like most people they talk on his cell phone when he's traveling, he doesn't want to take the chance that she would try to reach him at the hotel.  i can understand that.  Unlike Diane's situation where She has no such concerns about my finding out, Brian's is much different. 

This "open cuckolding" makes Her lifestyle much easier, and as Her relationship with Brian becomes stronger and more intimate, She enjoys flaunting it in front of me.  She's told Brian he can call Her on Her cell phone any time he wants.  She's told him if She can't talk, She'll just make believe it is someone from work and cut the conversation short.  Keep in mind, that Brian thinks Diane is keeping their affair secret from me.  Instead, i know everything Diane wants me to know about it. 

When Brian calls, rarely does She tell him that She's unable to talk, even if i am right next to Her.  Within a matter of seconds they're totally engrossed in what's usually a pretty erotic conversation, either talking about past or upcoming trysts of theirs.  Her indifference to my presence is sometimes difficult to accept.  There have been a few times where i thing She's actually told him to call at specific times that might even be more humiliating for me.

That seemed to happen last night when, only a few minutes after She told me to get down to just my bra and panties and get ready to please Her, Her cell phone rang.  She knew it was Brian and simply answered "Great timing!" She explained to Brian that She was alone for a little while and was just getting ready to change into something more comfortable.  He must have urged Her to do so, and She too was down to Her bra and panties. 

i stayed kneeling in front of the loveseat where She was sitting and their conversation got pretty steamy.   She then asked him to hold on for a minute and after She put Her hand over the phone, told me to go stand in the corner.  i felt humiliated and wanted to just walk out of the room.  i almost did.

Instead, i obeyed and stood in the corner while She talked with Brian.  i tried to block their conversation out but couldn't.  Like an inferior cuckold, i got hard in my panties.  The humiliation kept turning me on. 

When their conversation was over (cut short because Brian had to go), i was called back to kneel in front of Diane and pleasure Her.  i wasn't there long.  She came very quickly.  She also let me play with myself sissy style while holding Her panties.  "I bet Brian would have loved to know my sissy cuckold was standing in the corner while we were talking" She said.  That made me cum instantly. 

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Boyfriends Are Back

Both Brian (my Wife Diane's lover) and my new "boyfriend" Jake are back from their vacation tomorrow.  Diane has already spoken with Brian several times while he's been gone and i have been in contact with Jake via email.

Diane's wasting little time in getting together with Brian.  i've been told to "make yourself scarce" tomorrow night because Brian is coming over for the evening.  i'm to be out at a ball game and not home before 10:30 PM.

It's the harsh reality of cuckolding.  Diane told me not to worry, that i'd get to enjoy Her when i returned.  She promised to save me "a little something."

i'll write more tomorrow.  We just returned from a weekend away.

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The Cuckold Call

I just returned from my short business trip.  There were no issues at airport security which caused me great relief.  I just couldn't help from feeling nervous as I went through the scanner and waited while my luggage was scanned.  On my return home this afternoon, the woman operating the scanner seemed to take a very long time with my luggage, but finally let it through.  It wasn't until I had it in my hand and was walking towards my gate that I felt a sense of relief.

There was plenty of anxiety last night though.  Before I left, I had specific instructions to call Diane on Wednesday night at 6:25 PM.  She was very specific about the time.  My call was likely to come when she was in bed at home with her lover Brian.  I was to call her on her cell and talk to her like I normally would.

Diane's plan was to use the call as evidence to Brian that I was still "clueless" about their relationship and to help relieve any anxiety he might have about my finding out about their affair and time together.  She wants him to feel more comfortable and not have to worry about anything.  As part of the plan, Diane gave me a handful of questions I was to ask her when I called and of course, I was to tell her that I loved her before I hung up, and she would do the same.  She would call me later in the evening after Brian left to let me know how it went.

From my end,  thought I did pretty well given the circumstances.  I was anxious about it.  Here I was alone in my hotel room asking my wife how her day went, what time she got home, what she was doing for dinner, how I missed her and how much I loved her.  Diane said she had a great day at work, had actually gotten home early and wasn't sure what her plans for dinner were.  "I miss you too" she said and before we said our farewells, she told me she loved me.

I do love her.  Very, very, very much.  But carrying on  like that was difficult, wondering in what state of undress I had found her, what she and Brian were doing when the phone rang and whether or not he was so close to her so that he could hear both ends of our conversation.

Much later last night when Diane finally called me, she shared with me that when I called, the two of them were laying in bed and had just finished their first round of lovemaking.  She told me the call seemed to serve its intended purpose, proof to Brian that I suspected nothing and he indeed had nothing to worry about.  "He was even better the second time around, after your call" she told me.

Even though I was several hundred miles away, I never felt more like a cuckold as I did then.

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A Cuckold Date for Diane

"I need you to get all your housework done by early afternoon" Diane told me this morning.  "Brian will be over later in the day for a few hours.  I also need you to disappear until around 7 PM."

Keeping to her strategy to only let me know about her plans with Brian at the last minute, or even after they'd been together, I wasn't told about this next meeting until she was ready to leave for the office this morning.  As I explained before in this post, she believes I get too anxious about the whole thing in the days leading up to their meetings and, by doing it this way, I'll be less on edge. 

"Take the bed down and leave a sexy nightgown laying across it" she added.  "Make sure the bedroom looks real nice."  Brian will once again take my wife in our marital bed. 

She sensed my initial shock but knew I'd get over it.  Before I could really get going with Wednesday's housework (which I usually take care of at a rather leisurely pace) she took my hand and pulled me close to her.  "I know you would probably enjoy it more if we could be  more open about our lifestyle with Brian, and you could stay here and watch, but I doubt it will we'll ever be able to get to that point with him" she said.

She's right.  I know I would probably have a hard time at first, just watching my wife with another man.  But like everything else that's happened with us, I would get used to it and I would enjoy it.  Now that I'm required to "disappear" when Brian comes over, I really wish I could be a full-fledged cuckold in front of the both of them.

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Sometimes the Truth Hurts

One of the positive things that came out of Diane's first affair (but only after some very difficult times) was our agreement that we would be truthful to one another and more open in our communications.  It's worked very well for us and is the primary reason our relationship has been able to grow and be what it is today. 

Sometimes however, the truth hurts or at a minimum, is difficult to hear.  The information Diane shared with me last night is an example of something that I might have been better off not knowing.  Diane told me that her good friend Linda now knows that Diane is having an affair with Brian.  Linda doesn't know that I'm aware of the affair and our "open cuckolding" as Diane calls it.  But just the fact that Linda knows that Diane is having an affair is tormenting to me. 

Initially I was aghast that Diane would share this information with Linda.  I know they are very, very close, but I couldn't believe that Diane would just come out and tell Linda.  However, Diane only shared the information yesterday after Linda told Diane she was also seeing another man.   According to Diane, Linda was asking Diane to cover for her this coming week when she was going to be seeing her lover.  Linda felt awful about reeling Diane in to her web of deception but felt that it was her best way of providing an alibi and not raising any suspicions.  To put Linda more at ease and relieve some of her anxiety, Diane told her about her thing with Brian. 

I appreciate Diane's honesty with me, but I struggle with whether or not I would be better off not knowing.  I see Linda once and awhile and we sometimes get together as couples for social things.  I'm certainly going to feel different each time we see one another now.  Even though Diane hasn't told Linda about my knowledge of her affair with Brian, I can't help but be embarrassed that Linda knows I'm a cuckold. 

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A Cuckold's Emotions

I couldn't wait for Diane to get home last night.  I could tell from her voice earlier that she was in a very playful and loving mood when she told me to look sexy for her when she got home.  As much as I went back and forth on what to wear for her, I realize that she would have loved anything I had chosen.

The short nightie I chose, sort of a babydoll style with matching panties was accompanied by some white thigh high stockings with bows on them.  The nightie was a pastel yellow and the thigh highs were white.  I put a white pearl necklace on as well and some white heels.

When Diane walked through the door, she raised her eyebrows, smiled and let out a sexy cat whistle!  "Don't we look pretty tonight" she said.  She put her things down and took me in her arms as we kissed softly.   The kiss was one that revealed her intentions:  she wanted to make love to me, and she wanted me to please her.

She chose to make love to me first, and it was as emotionally satisfying an experience as I've had in many months.  She knows what I enjoy, and I was soon on my back at the edge of the bed with my nighty pulled up to reveal my smooth chest, while Diane slid her strap-on into me like an expert.  She touched my cock softly as I got more excited and milked me to a beautiful orgasm.  I licked my juices from her fingers as she fed me. 

Diane allowed me to relax for a few minutes as she lay on top of me, her smooth breasts against my own.  We kissed passionately, and soon I was pleasing her like I always do.  Her orgasm was a powerful one.  She moaned more than usual and squeezed my head so hard I thought I might pass out.  Lovingly, she thanked me for being so attentive to her.  The evening seemed absolutely perfect.

After changing so that I could prepare some dinner for her, I poured her a glass of white wine and she relaxed in the den while I went about my chores.  I could hear her on the phone a couple of times on different calls.   Her phone rang once and I realized she was talking to Brian.  She talked with him for about 15 minutes and as she headed into the kitchen I heard her say it was time for dinner and she was looking forward to next week.

We made some small talk at dinner and she once again told me how pretty I looked when she got home and how enjoyable the evening was.  I asked her when she was seeing Brian again and she told me that plan was for them to get together next Wednesday, probably around mid afternoon.  What she said next wasn't necessarily a surprise, but just the same it set my emotions on a roller coaster ride once again.

"I'd like to meet him here.  The hotel thing is pretty risky for both of us.  Too many people around her know the both of us and we don't want to risk it."

I hesitated and said "Okay."

"You'd have to disappear for three or four hours that afternoon.  I told him Wednesday would work because you're usually out on Wednesdays playing golf and not back until dinner time.  I used that to convince him it was safe to be here.  It would be even better if I told him you were out of town."

So many thoughts plowed through my brain at one time.  Many of them questions to myself.  I wondered if Diane, when she had an affair many years ago, had brought a man home to sleep in our bed?  As an "open cuckold" now, does another man sleeping in the marital bed make it more official?  Why was I aroused yet feeling down at the same time?

"Just say I'm out of town.  I'll find something to do" I said. 

She came over, kissed me and gave me a loving hug.   "I still love you and always will you know."

"I know you do" I told her.

The humiliation that comes with letting another man make love to my wife in our bed is going to be with me before it even happens. 

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Cheating Wives - Fulfilling Needs

Two of my favorite cuckolding blogs had two of their all time greatest posts these past couple of days.   I can't definitively say they are their all time bests because I haven't had a chance to read every single one of their postings, but I promise I will.  So, when two of my best blogs have two of their best ever postings (in my opinion) you can just imagine how much excitement there's been in my panties the past couple of days!

Yesterday over at Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse, her cuckold husband scott wrote the following in a post called "Prisoners of Fantasy":

"The wives of submissive cuckolds, in fulfilling their foolish husbands’ deepest desires, become the women that their husbands need them to be. There may be women who have a natural inclination to cheat, who don’t need prodding to venture out but, even in those cases, open cuckolding is a somewhat different beast and, once the couple get a taste for it, there usually isn’t any going back."

You obviously have to read the entire post to get the context, but the statement is imbedded in my mind since I read it.   I keep thinking about it, especially since I used the term "open cuckolding" for yesterday's title to my posting.  I'm wondering what lies ahead for us, once we experience it?  Will there be any going back?

The other posting which excited me to no end was Suzanne's midweek "escape" from family visitors to have some very hot sex with her lover and cuckold husband at the blog All Mine.  The blog seems to have evolved into more of a poly type situation that straightforward cuckolding, but the scene she describes had me all hot and bothered.  All I can think of is being in her husband's position, giving myself up to both her and her lover.  I can't imagine our relationship ever going far enough that something like that would happen.  That doesn't mean I can't dream about it!

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Open Cuckolding

Last night Diane used the term "open cuckolding" when referring to the difference between her first affair (which she had without my knowledge), and her upcoming tryst with Brian which I will be fully aware of.  She referred to the latter as "open cuckolding" because of her openness to me about almost everything that has been or will be going on.  She agreed that the term isn't necessarily the best description, but it just slipped out. 

She talked about how this time, things would be so much easier on her.  There wouldn't be the stress that comes with having to lie about who she's with, what she was doing or where she was going.  These and many other things make affairs so difficult to hide and usually are responsible for them ending up in disaster. 

She also brought up something that we had never talked about before.  It was something I sometimes wondered about but never brought up, probably out of fear of finding out the truth.  Who else knew?   I found out last night that the last time she had an affair, both her best friend Linda and sister Darlene knew about it.  I knew she was pretty close to both, but even so, last night's news was still difficult to hear.  She admitted that as wrong as it was, she used them as "excuses" to explain where she was or what she was doing at specific times or days while she was with "James."  She wasn't proud of it, and even said she was sorry for doing something like that.

Her point was that things are and will be so much different this time.  At least in her case, there won't be any need to lie to me about what she's doing with Brian.  I'll know everything she said "and even enjoy it like a good sissy cuckold." 

I couldn't help but ask if she was going to share any of this with her friend Linda or sister Darlene because she is still very, very close to both.   Her answer:  "Not unless you want me to!"

She laughed after she said it, and knew the effect it had on me.  I was already getting a little tingle in my panties.

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