A Cuckold's Big Day? Or Big Disappointment?

Being who i am, i'm understandably nervous about today.  It's the day that i get to meet face-to-face with Paul, Diane's lover, for the first time openly as a cuckold.  We've met before in social situations but until very recently, Paul didn't know that i knew about he and Diane.  Today, all that is about to change. 

Wednesday afternoons are their semi-regular weekly "meetings" that take place right her in our home and in our bedroom.  Up until today when they meet on Wednesdays i've either been out of the house or secluded in a distant guest bedroom fully dressed in feminine attire.  If all goes well today i won't have to hide anymore or find somewhere else to go.  Again, that's if all goes well. 

Diane worked very late last night presumably to get things done so She could leave Her office early this afternoon.  She didn't get in until after 8:30, was very tired and quiet.  i came down with a cold while we were on vacation and She seems to be starting one Herself.  i asked if She had seen Paul yesterday and said She did, but they had only talked briefly.

With Diane being so quiet the "elephant in the room" was today's meeting with Paul.  i deferred to Her to bring it up when She was ready, but the wait was killing me.  i finally broke the silence and asked if we were "still on for tomorrow."

"Of course we are" She said emphatically.  "Are you?"

i told Her that i was and was just wondering if anything had changed.

"No, not at all.  I'm just tired and coming down with this cold and lots of work stuff on my mind.  You know how it is." She said.

"Yes, i certainly do" i said.  Having worked in the same profession, i can understand the stress that can accumulate at times.  i was about to ask Her if She thought She felt well enough to meet with Paul tomorrow when She brought up the subject herself.

"About tomorrow, we want you dressed in just regular boy clothes when we get here.  Panties of course underneath and you can wear a bra too.  Paul just thinks it would be less intimidating to start and we just want to get things going with a casual conversation" Diane said. 

"That's fine" i said as i felt some of my anxiety disappear.  Diane cracked a smile.  It was a reassuring one that let me know that things would be all right.  "Do you want me in chastity?" i asked.

"That goes without saying right?  We've already gone through that.  It's in unless you have my permission to be out" She said rather sternly with a slight hint of annoyance that She was simply reiterating what She'd already told me. 

"Yes.  i'll be in chastity when You arrive" i said and quickly corrected myself to say that i would "remain in chastity for Paul's visit."  Diane like that and smiled again.

And so I wait for then to arrive in about 3 or 4 hours.  i've tried to keep busy doing other things but it's hard to concentrate.  i'm happy with their decision to have me dressed in male attire.  It is less intimidating and more relaxed.  i'm happy Paul seems to understand my anxiety and it's an indication that Diane has done an excellent job of explaining things to him.

On the other hand, i hope it's not an indication of something else.  For instance, Paul might not be comfortable with me in feminine attire when he's around.  If he is comfortable, then why wouldn't he want to "set the tone" right away? Could it be that he doesn't mind having his relationship with Diane in the open, but doesn't want me any more involved than i was before?  Or maybe, i'm just over-thinking this way too much.

i'm nervous but i want this to work.  It is a big day for me.  i just hope it doesn't turn out to be a big disappointment.

Oh....and one more thing.  Don't forget today is "Lock your man day."  Or, "Lock your sissy day!" 

i know it's a big day, but i've got something more important going on.

Anyway.....i'm locked...are you?

love,

sissy terri

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A Sissy Cuckold Sunday

Last night around 7 PM Diane found out that her lover Paul would be free all day Sunday.  He wouldn't just be free, but he'd have the entire house to himself.  His wife was originally supposed to leave Monday morning on a short business trip, but for whatever reason chose to leave this morning.  Paul invited Diane to spend the day with him and if She so chooses, to spend the night.

Diane left about a half hour ago with an overnight bag and clothes for Her to wear to work tomorrow morning.  "Don't wait for me for dinner, but I'll let you know if I'm going to spend the night" She told me.  "I haven't made up my mind yet."

i didn't press Her to find out why She was undecided to spend the night.  Maybe i should have, not that i would have gotten a direct or conclusive answer, but it would be better than the various scenarios that have been going through my mind since She's left.  Since Jake's not available today, i've got plenty of time to myself.  Time to think.  Time to wonder. 

When you're a cuckold, your Wife has a clear preference for Her lover over you when it comes to the type of sex a woman usually has with a man.  You may not always look at it in those terms but it makes things a little easier on you when you admit to it.  I know it and it's evident by the fact that we no longer have regular sex with one another.  So, Diane's going over to Paul to have sex this afternoon is easier for me to accept since i've accepted who i am and what my role is.

However, when i dwell on this i wonder what''s going to be going through Diane's mind if after a full afternoon and early evening of sex, She decides She wants to spend the night with Paul?  More sex? More intimacy?  A preference for Paul over me that goes beyond the "typical" sex?    i readily admit that some of this bothers me.

On the other hand if Diane does decide to spend the evening, it could be just another one of Her ways to play mind games with me, knowing full well that i'm running all these scenarios through my head.  On the one hand She assures me of Her deep love for me, then opts to spend the night in the arms of another man in his bed, likely waking up to another round of sex.

All of this is taking place while i'm locked away in my CB-3000 the entire time.  That's another little piece to this weekend puzzle.  i got locked in after my shower this morning and She has the key.  The spare key is hidden somewhere in the house if needed in an emergency.  "Don't even try looking for it.  It would be a waste of time" She said.  If i need it, i'm to call Her.

If Diane decides to spend the night with Paul.  i'll probably stay locked until tomorrow evening when She gets home from work.

It's a sissy Sunday for me.  i'm dressed fully, have some housework to do and i'm locked in chastity.  i will however be able to watch some football without interruption.

It's also a cuckold Sunday here.  My Wife is at Her lover's house where he's probably enjoying some football also, although i doubt it's going to be without interruption.

Yes, i'm a sissy and a cuckold and have accepted it.  But i really hope She decided to come home tonight.

i would love the opportunity to worship Her after an afternoon of lovemaking with Paul.

i also love to fall asleep next to Her.  It's not the same when She's not there.

i guess i'm a very selfish sissy cuckold too.

love,

sissy terri

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Checking Her Panties

Disappointment is something a submissive sissy cuckold has to live with.  i can't say i get used to it, but i do accept it.  Diane let me know around 4:30 yesterday afternoon that She'd be working late and not to wait for Her to have dinner.  It's not unusual for Her to have to work beyond regular hours.  It's the nature of Her job.

i didn't doubt Her.  i'm certain She did have to work a few extra hours.  However, i also knew that She'd probably seeing Paul also.  i was correct.  She grabbed a quick bite to eat with him before heading home. 

When She called to tell me She'd be late, She made no mention of Her earlier plans to have a special night together since we were so busy over the weekend.  This apparent indifference to our original plans probably would be a big problem in most marriages.  In ours, it's only a minor one.  And only a problem for me, but one that i accept and move on. 

Diane was home around 8:30 PM.  Considering what She had to do at work i knew that She couldn't have spent much time with Paul.  But i was also quite certain that they did spend some time alone before parting ways.  Not enough time for sex, but definitely time for some intimacy.

In spite of my accepting my married sissy cuckold state, i still get jealous.  The jealousy is stronger at times like these, when i look forward to being with Diane and She ends up spending that time with Paul, short as it may be. Other little things that happen make the jealousy even worse.

For example, yesterday morning i walked into the bathroom and saw Diane putting Her makeup on before heading to work.  She was just in a black bra and panties.  She looked so sexy and in the mirror, She saw me gazing at Her from behind, and at her behind!  "Like what you see?" She asked.  i answered in the affirmative of course which led Her to say "Good, you'll be able to taste it tonight."  We both laughed.  i couldn't wait for Her to get home. 

Diane showered when She got home last night.  While She was in the shower i did something that i haven't done in a very long time.  i went into the lingerie hamper we have in our walk-in closet and pulled out the black panties She'd just taken off.  My jealousy/curiosity got the best of me.  They were very damp in the crotch..  No evidence of She and Paul having intercourse, but plenty of evidence of Diane's arousal.  The whole thing got me very aroused.

When Diane got out of the shower and dried off, She asked me if i would like a little treat.  "Would you like to play with yourself?  you've been locked up all day" She said.  Without waiting for my answer, She went and got the key to my CB-3000 an unlocked it. 

i had a hard time getting it off because of my arousal, but as soon as i did i was laying on the bed face up with Diane's beautiful ass covering my face.  She teased me verbally and told me to play with myself "like a good girl."  i came in no time.

i had to stay there though.  My job wasn't finished, until She said it was.  However, it didn't take Her long to cum either. 

After i had cleaned up the mess i had made on myself, i returned to the bedroom and lay next to Diane. 

"Sorry about tonight" She said.  "I would rather have relaxed here at home."

"You don't have to be sorry" i said.

"I know I don't" She said with all sincerity.

love,

sissy terri

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Sissy Cuckold Disappointments

My Wife Diane's planned meeting with Paul on Wednesday afternoon never took place.  The "non-event" made for an emotional day, for the both of us.

i had been out of town and hurried home to make sure i'd be there in plenty of time to get dressed and assume my position as the sissy cuckold in the guest bedroom at the far end of the house.  Like i've done before, i would wait there while Paul and Diane arrived for their afternoon of fun, make their way to our master bedroom and enjoy each other in a sexual way for a few hours.

i waited with the usual anxiety i have when it comes to things like this as the hours passed so slowly by.  i began to get a little concerned when, thirty minutes after they should have been there, they hadn't arrived.  Finally, after another hour i called Diane on her cell phone and immediately got a text message that said "Sorry I'm busy now.  I'll call you back."  It was one of those automated options that comes with smartphones these days.

Diane's call came back an hour later and She asked me what was up.  I asked Her if everything was alright and if She was still planning on coming over with Paul....

"He had an emergency this afternoon and couldn't make it"  She said rather curtly.

"Oh. Hope everything is okay.  I was worried about you" I told Her.

"Everything's fine.  It was a work emergency and I decided to get a few things done here.  I've got to run.   I'll call you on my way home"  She said before ending the call.

i looked at the clock on the nightstand and realized i'd been waiting there for more than three hours.  There was no apology from Diane for not having called me to let me know Her date with Paul was cancelled.  Not even a "Sorry, I forgot to call" or a "I should have called."  i was left to wait there and worry.  It was obvious that on this day, Diane's sissy wife was an afterthought.

The incident didn't put me in a very good mood, i felt both humiliated and angry.  i wanted to change out of my feminine clothes, put on male clothes and prepare myself for a discussion with Diane.  i opted not to, deciding it wouldn't be the right thing to do.

Paul's cancellation didn't put Diane in a very good mood either.  That was evident when She got home.  i finally decided to tell Her that "i wished You would have called me.  i was worried."   Her response reflected both Her foul mood and how She viewed Her responsibilities in such situations.

Phone Sex

"Well, I didn't call" She said and added sarcastically "And I didn't know I had to."

The rest of the evening had an air of tension.  Later, She got a phone call from Paul and within a minute or two made Her way to our bedroom and shut the door.  She returned nearly an hour later and seemed to be in a better mood, even though She didn't say anything.  Finally, i was the one who apologized for being upset about the whole situation.

"Don't worry"  She said with a grin, "I'll find a way for you to make it up to me."

"i'd like to make it up to You now" i said with a smile of my own.

"Oh really?" She smiled.  "Another orgasm for me?  Why not?  Let's go upstairs."

i followed Diane to the bedroom fully realizing that She had just enjoyed some steamy conversation with Her lover Paul which led to an orgasm.  While She was in the bedroom talking to Paul, i wondered if She was having phone sex with him but dismissed the idea because of Her lousy mood.  i thought instead they might be sorting some things out.  i was wrong.

Evidence of my miscalculation was Diane's wetness when i put my lips between Her thighs and began pleasing Her.  She was still very damp from Her chat with Paul.

It didn't take Diane long to have an orgasm.  As i kissed and licked, i wondered what they had talked about that changed Her mood.  When She came, i wondered what She was thinking about while i was licking between her legs.

These emotional roller coasters aren't very easy to deal with but, it comes with being a married sissy cuckold.

love,

sissy terri

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A Sissy Maid-in-Waiting

i wish (and maybe my readers do too) that i had some very sexy and salacious details to report to you about Diane's meeting with Her lover Paul yesterday afternoon.  Their meeting took place in our home and their sex in our bedroom, all while i stayed in a guest bedroom at the other end of the house while dressed in my maids uniform.

Other than hearing the two of them arrive, Paul express a bit of nervousness to Diane fearing that "someone" would pop by and, his nervousness and anxiety obviously gone after their sex, their amorous embrace as they said their goodbyes, i have very little to report.

i too was a bit nervous at the outset.  i stood by the window waiting for them to arrive and when i saw the two cars make their way up our steep driveway i felt my heart beat a bit faster.  i waited and listened for the door to our garage to open and i could hear Diane's laughter in what i assume was Her attempt to put Paul at ease.  Had they stayed in the great room i would have been able to hear them, but Diane was quick to whisk Paul away into our bedroom. 

Almost ninety minutes later after their final embrace Diane came to the door of our bedroom and greeted me with a big hug and thanked me for being so understanding.  In the same bed that Paul made love to Her, i made love to Her also but in a submissive sort of way.  my mouth and lips were in and on the same places his hands and cock were.  She got pleasure from the two of us but in oh so different ways.  The time i spent pleasing Her while thinking about what had happened put me into a very deep subspace.  We capped off the evening by going out to dinner at one of our favorite places.

my initial reflections were that the whole afternoon was a little anticlimactic.  Both i and Paul were nervous for nothing.  There was no risk of my "discovering" him with my wife, nor was there a risk that Diane would expose me as Her cuckolded sissy husband in front of him.  Other than the time i spent in our bedroom after Paul had been there, i didn't feel much different than i normally do and that surprised me.

The Sissy Maids

However my feelings today have been different and a bit mixed.  Even though i didn't at the time, this morning i felt real silly about being made to sit in a room by myself dressed in a maids uniform.  Diane was the only one that saw me in it and only for a brief period.  i feel silly because i understand that there was no point in my being dressed that way.  No point whatsoever.  Diane made me do it because She could. 

My feelings were mixed because as embarrassed and silly as i feel about it, knowing that She could exercise Her control and power over me in that way makes me love Her even more and want to be even more submissive if that's even possible. 

It's also made me wonder how it's even possible for a "normal" heterosexual male like Paul to understand a cuckold like me.  If Diane's affair with Paul were ever to include me as the submissive cuckold it seems to me that he would somehow have to understand my submissiveness.  As submissive as i've become, i don't think that's likely to happen.

Love,

sissy terri

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Cuckold Disappointments

Diane's had a wonderful evening with Her lover Brian on Wednesday night.  She got home a little earlier than expected and had me run Her bath.  She shaved her legs, did some trimming of Her pubic hair and had me give Her a pedicure (something i'm getting better at.)

For me, the time i spent helping Her prepare for Brian was the highlight of the evening.  To most cuckolds who fantasize and enjoy the humiliation of seeing their wives up close with another man or forced to service the two of them in some sexual way, the evening would have been a major disappointment.  i was disappointed also, but i realize that this is about Diane's pleasure first and foremost, and not mine.

Even though i'm writing about this from a submissive cuckold's point of view, the reality of it is that what happens, or doesn't happen, is all likely to be driven by my Wife's desires and not mine.  Wednesday night proved just that.  And with Brian staying over for the evening and the both of them leaving early enough on Thursday morning, it wasn't until last night that Diane and i had a chance to talk about what transpired.

Basically, when Brian arrived i wasn't dressed in anything pretty or made to look like an effeminate sissy cuckold.  i looked like just any other man with my khaki's and golf shirt.  i offered him a drink which he declined and just had a bottle of water.  Diane had a glass of wine and they sat out on the back patio and talked for about a half hour alone.  Then they made their way upstairs for nearly three hours of lovemaking.  i prepared dinner for them which the three of us enjoyed together.

Most people would expect a tense and awkward dinner conversation after what had just taken place.  i know i did.  But not with Diane.  She drove the conversation and talked about everything from the nation's budget battles to the local weather.  i cleaned up after dinner while they sat in the living room watching a basketball game and just as i was about done, Diane announced that they were headed upstairs and kissed me goodnight.

There was no "surprise" that Diane had alluded to.  i was a little relieved about that but disappointed as well.  The biggest disappointment was that i was not involved at all, other than to help Her prep for Brian and serve dinner.  i felt lonely and left out.

Diane's explanation for what happened was pretty simple.  "Some things take time to develop" She said.  She has Her own fantasies and thoughts on cuckolding me and knows what mine are.  It's tough to accept, and even tougher to hear but my own thoughts and fantasies are secondary to Hers.  "I want to include you in this some, but Brian has to be ready for it also" She said almost clinically, as if She was overseeing a patient's rehabilitation or something similar.

It's at times like this that Diane can come across as being cold, calculating, devious, aloof and self-centered.  When it comes to Her personal sexual gratification, i suppose She's developed into just that type of woman.  i have to learn to live with that.

There's another Diane though.  The one who, after last night's conversation, told me to go upstairs, "pretty yourself up and wait for me."  We made our own special kind of love late into the evening and talked past midnight.

"You're going to be tired tomorrow.  You have to work" I told Her.

"So what" She said, "you're worth staying up late for."

No wonder i love Her so much.

love,

sissy terri

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