Clothes maketh the gurl!

Hello, Candi here - and this has been a long time coming, and way overdue. I'm sorry! Life has been getting in the way, and I've been finding it harder and harder to find time to write for terri's fabulous blog. But things are different now, and I'm hoping to be a more regular contributor.

So, we all know how important clothing is to our special interest, and none more so that the perennial maids dress. I had always been reluctant to indulge myself in this, preferring to cultivate a look that was more mainstream feminine, focussing less on the fetish aspect of it, and more on passing as a 'normal' woman. However, after some discussions and thoughts, my curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to take the plunge.

The quality of my female clothing is always of upmost importance to me, and I had a hard time finding an outfit that was both to my liking, and well made. I finally decided on an outfit from Birch Place, which has an amazing selection, all of it made to good standards. The one I chose was the Emmanuelle French Maids outfit, in black satin with white lace trim. The great thing about Birch Place is that they will customize your order to your exact size, so I was able to create something that fitted my corseted form just about perfectly, giving me a nice female shape. It also comes with a full net petticoat, and a cute little apron to complete the ensemble. Lovely!

Well, was I in for a surprise. The garment duly came, and I finally got around to trying it on with full makeup, heels and some lovely European nylon stocking. I had thought that it would be a fun thing, a novelty, but not that much different in feeling from the usual gurl-about-town outfits that I normally wear. Oh, was I wrong.

I dressed, made up and finally looked at myself in the mirror. I could not believe the deep feeling of submission that came over me. It was completely unexpected, extremely powerful and  - Oh! - so very, very wonderful! I loved the way I looked, the way I felt, and the deep effect it had on my psych. I had never felt so feminine, so ready to let go, so ready to serve and dedicate myself to pleasing a Master - or Mistress - than ever before. I was completely stunned by how deep, and how quickly a simple addition to my wardrobe could propel me into a state of submission that I had never felt before.

Since then, I have worn it several more times, and each time, the effect has been the same. I have also worn it as part of a play session with another (dominant) CD. It is hard to describe just how powerful it has been to experience this new set of feelings, and how it has helped me to fall deeper into submission.

It just amazes me how a set of clothes with a specific cut, color and design can have such a powerful effect on the psyche. There is something so profoundly symbolic about the outfit: the short, flared skirt trimmed with lace, the flouncy, full net petticoat, the artfully placed bows as trims, the powerful contrast between black and white, the sheer silky stockings, with garters and stocking tops peeking out below the skirt, and the tall high heels, which have you delicately balanced, and set off your long legs encased in beautiful black nylon. The feeling of the satin, silky against your skin, and the delicate exposure of the short skirt. All combine in an overwhelming visual and tactile experience, pushing you deep into a mindset where your only purpose is to serve. I found it a sublime and deeply moving experience, and I am deeply grateful to terri, who was one of the people persuading me to take the plunge. I am so looking forward to exploring more of the sissy maid experience!

You can see some more pictures of the final result (and some other pics too!) on my Flickr page - here. Clothes most definitely do make the gurl!

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Fascinated with Femininity

By the time this post goes up, Diane and i will hopefully be on our second run of the day up at the Snow Bowl.  This is the busiest week for ski resorts everywhere but for infrequent skiers like us it's just nice to be out there.

my time out of chastity while skiing has necessitated making up for it in other ways.  Diane's insisting i sleep with the CB-3000 and get into it immediately after my shower when we return from the slopes.  That's the difficult part.  Late yesterday afternoon after a fun afternoon in the snow, Diane was looking forward to some extensive body worship...and so was i. It's just that i had to do it while locked up and wearing the new pair of white ruffled panties Diane bought me from Amazon a few weeks ago :)

Both the chastity and the ruffled panties were Her idea. 

"I'm sorry I have to lock you up" She said, "but you're likely to squirt into your new panties and make a mess if I don't."  You can imagine what Her teasing did to me.  She continued....

"I know you're fascinated with feminine things, so consider the ruffled panties a treat" She laughed. 

Yes...i am fascinated with feminine things.  All kinds of feminine things.  As i worshiped Diane, i thought about so many of these things...corsets, petticoats, ruffles, wedding gowns, little girl outfits and more.  The idea of being dressed in such pretty things while locked and pleasing my Dominant Wife only made my imprisoned state that much harder to bare. 

Here are a few "feminine fascinations" that went through my mind last night!

A pretty pink babydoll of course...

And this gorgeous corset dress...

And layer upon layer of crinolines....

And finally, some cute heels, anklet socks and a pretty sissy bow in my hair.....

love,

sissy terri

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Just One of the Girls

i kept myself busy over the Labor Day weekend, mostly with girly and sissy stuff.  In addition to housework, running errands, doting on Diane and even Her friend Linda on Sunday and Monday, we also spent plenty of time on the phone with our daughter planning her wedding even though it's still months away.  Diane teased me about bringing another "feminine perspective" to the wedding planning process even though i'm really the father of the bride.

Linda came over for dinner on Sunday and ended up spending the night because of a an extra vodka tonic or two.  Not a coincidence that she stayed in the same guest bedroom i'm going to be in later this afternoon when Diane hosts Paul in our master bedroom.  It is Wednesday of course and a day that Diane looks forward to every week.  This one's special since She hasn't seen Paul in awhile.

Linda arrived around mid-afternoon on Sunday to enjoy some time by the pool.  She was a little subdued because of the sudden death of one of her cousins and was making plans to travel on Tuesday or Wednesday to attend the funeral on Thursday.  Her mood did lighten up a little and Diane let her know that i'd be joining them in my new one piece swimsuit.  Linda's been absolutely great when it comes to making me feel at ease when it comes to my crossdressing.  Sure she joins Diane with a few teases here and there but i've become more comfortable being myself in front of her.

i was in charge of dinner and Diane made sure that i changed into something more appropriate for cooking and serving.  A maids uniform wasn't appropriate because i would be grilling some fish and asparagus outdoors so i changed into a pair of white shorts and a pretty pink top that i covered with a very feminine looking apron.

i also did my best to set the table as expertly as possible, with some fresh cut flowers and perfectly
placed silverware.  i'm amazed at how much i enjoy doing these things.  These little tasks are what real men would identity as "women's work" and that probably adds to the intrigue of why i enjoy it.  Doing them as service to others, to impress them and taking pride in the tasks also adds to my enjoyment.

Just before serving dinner Diane got an unexpected call from Paul.  He had some time alone and decided to call Her.  i went about my business as Diane talked with Paul right in front of Linda.  Only at the very end of the conversation did She move out of earshot to have a little privacy.

As i reflect on the weekend i see how bizarre and strange it might seem to many people.  At the same time i'm happy that it all seemed to be very natural to me, Diane and even her friend  Linda!

love,

sissy terri

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More Sissy New Year's Resolutions

Here are a few more that i will try to abide by, all with Diane's encouragement and approval by the way!

She definitely wants me to stay in shape.

Sometimes she thinks my colors are boring.  "Do something besides pink for a change" She says.

And lastly, accessories are something i need to focus on.  i think they can open up a whole new world of femininity for me.

Love,

terri

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The Woman Inside

This year we traveled to celebrate New Year's with family.  We're still away and won't be back home until this weekend.  Diane's practice is closed and i don't have any consulting work lined up until mid-January so there is no rush to get back.  At least for me there isn't.  Diane misses the sex She has with Brian and they've talked a few times while we've been here.

Traveling and staying with family hasn't absolved me from being Diane's submissive "wife."  i'm still required to wear feminine undergarments all the time and i'm thankful for that.  Wearing male underwear just doesn't feel natural anymore.  Diane's insistence that i wear at least three items of female clothing all the time is not as difficult to follow.   Panties, hosiery of some sort and sports bras are pretty easy to conceal. 

Even though i'm used to wearing these things (and more) on a regular basis they still serve to remind me of my femininity and "the woman inside" of me.  The clothing may only be underneath my male clothes, but the femininity is deep inside. 

Staying with family makes it a little more difficult to blog but i hope I can post at least one more time before we leave.   i've continued to log on to tumblr (usually late at night or when i can) and posted some things i consider to be pretty and feminine.  i hope you enjoy my blog there as well. 

Happy New Year to everyone.  i'm anxious about 2013, wondering how my next step in the cuckolding process is going to go.  The anxiety is lessened by Diane's continued reassurances and Her expressions of love.  That's why i'm hopeful that 2013 will be a very good year.  i hope it is for all of you as well!

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My Sissy Emotions

i want everyone to know that I'm fine.  Funny how you can make friends through this relatively anonymous phenomenon we call blogging.  i haven't posted in a little over two weeks and i've received five emails from blogger friends (all but one of them a submissive sissy like myself) asking if i was okay.  It's quite touching and heartwarming to be totally honest with you.

i've been in some sort of funk.  Diane calls it a "sissy funk" most of the time but She's also said it's my feminine hormones taking over.  No, i'm not taking anything but She tells me that's it's totally understandable that the more i behave and adopt traditional feminine roles and behaviors, the female hormones that do exist in me will become more dominant.

my affair with Jake seems like it could be over.  i wrote last time about how i thought Jake might be headed to one of those "valleys" he referred to at the outset of our relationship.  His bi urges seemed to come in peaks and valleys he said.  But soon after i posted two weeks ago, he called me to say that he thought his wife was getting suspicious, asking him some odd questions.  He felt she might be thinking he was messing around on her and thought it was a good idea to cool it for awhile.  I heard from him a couple times on email since then and saw him at the gym once, but it's been about 10 days since we've communicated.  i understand, but can't help feeling he's just plain lost interest in me.

On the other hand, Diane and Brian see each other very regularly.  Somehow, Brian's been able to arrange his schedule to be in our city at least one night per week over the last month, sometimes two.  Diane's been telling him more and more about my submission to Her.  She tells me that he's fascinated by it and seems turned on that he's her "alpha" lover.  That's the term i'm using not his.  Diane tells me She's very confident now that it's only a matter of time before he "knows everything" and that i'll be cuckolded in their presence.  It's something i fantasize but am also anxious about.

Through all this, Diane's been very understanding and supportive of my feelings.  It seems like when i'm feeling very low, at my lowest points for example, She uses that as an opportunity to exert more dominance over me and exaggerate my femininity.

In those instances, usually after i've completed some humiliating task while dressed in a very sissy-like outfit, we sit and talk about where we are in our marriage and whether or not we're happy with where it's headed.  In spite of the emotional roller coaster i've experienced of late, i have to admit i want it to continue.  Diane insists that "turning back now would be a big mistake."  i have to agree with Her.

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Just Like a Woman - My First Time

i got to meet with Jake this week (at his place no less) and it was an intensely sensual and pleasurable meeting.  Jake's wife was gone for a few days staying with her mother and he had the whole house to himself.  There was something very naughty about him taking me into the master bedroom and telling me i was going to be his "wife for the day."

The deep purple short nightgown he bought me as a surprise got me hard instantly.  Jake joked that i certainly didn't look very feminine with my little erection and suggested i do my best to hide it.  It was difficult, but i tucked it between my legs for him while modeling the nightie and he got a laugh out of that.  The black lace on the gown made me feel more sexy than sissy-like and i think Jake felt the same way.  i was soon on my back on the big bed with  my smooth legs wrapped around him as he lay on top of me.  i was swooning and wanted him.

Jake was as hard as i'd ever seen or felt him.  i wanted him in my mouth, but part of me wanted him inside of me even more.  He could tell and said "Do you think you're ready?"  As much as i had been thinking about this moment, it was another one of those things that caught me by surprise.  i wasn't sure what to say and i think he was uncomfortable with the silence and finally told me it was fine if i didn't want to.   But i did want to.

"Can we try?" i asked him.

"Of course.  We can stop anytime" he said as he lay on top of me and stroked my thighs, "just say so."

Well, after plenty of foreplay (really the best part), a large amount of lube, some discomfort, and plenty of tenderness and understanding on Jake's part, i took his beautiful cock in my bottom.

It took awhile before he entered me fully.  In fact, he let me control how deep he went, instructing me to back onto his cock when i felt comfortable enough.  i was on all fours on the bed and i just loved feeling the tip of his cock pressed up against me.  The most difficult part, much like taking Diane's strap-on, was the initial penetration.  i relaxed after awhile and enjoyed it immensely.

Jake used a condom of course, but knowing he came from making love to me that way drove me wild and i had an ograsm of my own, without even touching my own penis.  i felt like i had an orgasm "just like a woman."  In fact, those are the terms Jake used when he told me i was cumming "just like a woman."

When it was all over, i felt different and still do.  It's hard to explain exactly how i feel different.  Part of it is as if i've taken a huge step towards becoming more like a woman, while still retaining my physical masculinity.  There's a huge emotional component to it also.  i seem to feel an inner glow that's difficult to explain, a feeling of fulfillment.  i can't wait to do it again.

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The Good Little Housewife

"Aren't you the good little housewife?" Diane said to me the other night, her comments dripping with sensual and sarcastic domination.  i was wearing one of my prettiest aprons when she got home from work and had a lovely dinner all prepared for the two of us.

It was sort of a special occasion, a corny anniversary of sorts.  Not a wedding anniversary but a date that we've always remembered for romantic reasons.  Just because things have changed so much for us was no reason to stop our little tradition.  Diane was glad i remembered, and i was happy She was pleased. 

Although i did all the preparation and serving of the dinner, when we sat down and toasted with a glass of Her favorite wine, i almost felt like Her equal as opposed to Her submissive.  Even though i was dressed in a very pretty housewife-like  print dress with a pearl necklace and matching earrings, we talked intimately and enjoyed dinner very much. 

Diane seemed to enjoy the dinner so much She even told me She felt guilty about not having lifted a finger to assist in its preparation and volunteered to help clean up.  I refused Her help and told Her to just relax and i would join Her soon.  "That's the good little housewife in you" She said and after pausing added "that I love so much."  She just smiled and went into the living room to finish her second glass of wine.  She made a couple of calls on Her cell while She was there, but i couldn't really make out who they were to.  One of them could of been Brian but i just couldn't be sure.

i joined Her later and sat next to Her on the sofa.  She reached over and kissed me softly and it felt so nice.  "I really don't know how to reward you for such a wonderful dinner and evening" She told me, "everything was absolutely delicious and just right."  i told Her there was no need to repay me at all, just to continue loving me.  "I'll always love you.  You'll never have to worry about that."  It was beautiful the way She said it.

"But I do need to reward my good little housewife in a special way.  I want to do something special for you, something very, very significant" She said as She smiled at me.  "Would you like that?"

i told Her i would love anything She would do for me.  "I know you would sweetheart" She said.

Somehow, i think She knows exactly what that special reward is, but isn't prepared to share it with me. 

On another note, i haven't been able to blog much lately because of my consulting job.  It got busier than anticipated and the next few months are going to be the same.  i'm making more money than i thought i would and as promised, it is turned over to Diane and i'm given an allowance.  It's a pretty generous allowance, but the fact that i turn it over to Her makes me feel more submissive.

i am seeing Jake tomorrow here at our house. He doesn't have much time but i want to see him very much.  i don't like being rushed but it's either that or not see him until next week or the week after.  i'm going to do my best to look as feminine as possible for his arrival and do my best to please him. 

Diane is working tomorrow morning and we leave in the afternoon to fly to New York for a wedding on Long Island Saturday.  We're also going with Diane's friend Linda and her husband.  It's a funny feeling, especially that Linda now knows that i know that Diane is having an affair with Brian.  She knows i'm a cuckold, just not the whole extent of it. 

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Feeling Like A Woman

Both of us have been pretty busy.  Work and family do that do you right?  It hasn't stopped Diane from staying in touch with her lover Brian every day.  i also do my best to email Jake.  It feels very strange, both of us going about setting up our next dates with our boyfriends.  Diane's take precedence of course, and i always have to ask Her permission before i can meet with Jake.  She's never said no to my requests, and doubt She would have reason to.

Last night, after a weekend spent with family, i asked Diane if She was "falling in love" with Brian.  i've been holding back on asking Her that, despite Her repeated assurances that this whole thing was going to be just about sex.  i still have insecurities and i sometimes see subtle changes in how She acts, and particularly in how She views sex with me. 

Our sex has a little more of an edge to it.  She's more controlling, demanding and in subtle ways, quick to point out the differences between me and Brian.  She's touched on my passivity as opposed to his aggression, my strong desire to please as opposed to his demand to be pleasured.  Some of the things Diane says or does are hard to specify, but just add to a different atmosphere She's creating and seems to enjoy.

Last night Diane initially ignored my question about whether She was falling in love with Brian.  Instead, She said to me "You know, sexually, I'm very similar to Brian."

"How's that?" i asked.

"Well, we both know how to make someone feel like a woman" She answered. 

The comment hurt at first.  Then She put her arms around me from behind, kissed my neck and whispered "Well?  Don't we?"

i know Diane does, and i'll have to take Her word for it about Brian.  From all indications, he does too. 

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Meeting a "Wife's" Needs

Other than going into the office just briefly yesterday, Diane decided to take the entire week off.  It's been nice.  We got to spend time together, talk, shop and just enjoy being together while our "boyfriends" are away on their own family vacations. 

Despite having my period this week, we've been rather sexually active.  Diane's teased me about how horny She's been all week and how much She misses manly sex with Brian.  i've pleasured Her as best i could (at least twice each day) orally and a few times, using a hand held vibrating dildo on Her as She fantasizes about Brian.  This form of pleasure for Her has given me an insight into some of their lovemaking.  Diane might be exaggerating some of the things She talks about while i pleasure Her this way, but there's clearly a change in Her approach to sex since She's been with Brian. 

She hasn't made love to me with Her own strap-on since i started my period on Sunday.  However, there have been multiple "sissy masturbation" sessions, even a few while i was still "fully pantied."  It does make for a little bit of a mess and Diane laughed and told me since i lacked so much control that "maybe you should wear a diaper instead of panties."  She's also been teasing me by saying that She hopes my period is a short one so that She can make real love to me before the weekend.  That's a good sign.  I'm expecting Her to let me know today that my "time-of-the-month" has come to an end.

We were shopping the other day and Diane picked out a cute little summer nightgown for me.  i also pointed out something that i thought would look good on Her.  Her first comment was "Do you think Jake would like it?"  i told Her i thought he would, but that i really liked it.  We bought it and She wore it for me the next night. 

As we were shopping i thought about how each of us works hard to please each other as their "wife."  In our relationship, we really are each others "wife."  i don't sexually pleasure Diane like a real man would, and we're both more than okay with that.  But She definitely pleases me like a wife gets pleased.  She's even back to calling me "wifey" more and more.  i am loving all of it.  The more She does these things, the more submissive and feminine i feel.

By all indications, She's loving it too. 

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Loving Her Sissy

Diane must have left out the tampons and pads last night before she went to bed.  They were on the vanity in the master bath when i got up this morning; a reminder that i was due to start my period today.  i had it on my calendar but Diane enjoys doing little things like that just to make sure i don't forget. 

i was getting ready to use the supplies She had put out when She told me to hold off until later this afternoon.  "Periods don't always start first thing in the morning" She said with a laugh.  i smiled at Her and put the things back on the vanity.

i'm also feeling femme today for a few other reasons.  As my role as Diane's submissive wife and cuckold becomes more ingrained in our lives each day, and as i continue to see Jake, the tone and content of many of our conversations with each other have also changed.  For instance, this morning while sipping on Her morning coffee and reading the Sunday newspaper Diane said "Isn't it funny how both our boyfriends are gone on vacation with their wives this week?"  I agreed that it was quite the coincidence.

Maybe i shouldn't be, but i was struck by the nonchalance with which She said that to me.  i thought about how possibly, even though i am still Her husband, She really doesn't look at me that way any more in the traditional sense.  She seems to view me more as Her submissive girlfriend and even treats me that way sexually.   Because of that, i'm finding myself needing more affirmation of Her love for me.  i'm a little more insecure than i was and it's not because of my cuckolding but more because of how i think She sees me. 

Late this morning we went to the gym together and after showering when we got home,  Diane told me it was time for some fun.  i love pleasing Her.  i don't think i'm that different than many submissives who get tremendous emotional satisfaction from pleasing their Dominant Wives.  Our own sexual gratification isn't that important to us.  That's how it is with me and Diane.  But today, She made sure i got satisfied as well. 

Once again, i took Her strap-on rather aggressively.  She enjoyed teasing and taunting me, telling me i'd better not cum until She gave me permission.  i'm glad She didn't wait to long to give me permission.  i came when She was deep inside of me.  It was a powerful orgasm for me.  But it wasn't the best part of the morning for me.  There were two things that were more important to me.

The first was when i provided her pleasure.  The other, and most important of all, was when She told me She loved me.

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Bedtime for Sissies

Do you like this cute little babydoll nightie?  i just love it. 

Bedtime can be so much fun for a sissy like me!

Good night everyone.

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Sissy Sex with Diane

Yesterday afternoon Diane called me from Her office around 4:30.  She was using Her speakerphone, which always makes me feel uncomfortable, even though She's assured me that our conversation is private.  There have been a few times where She's told me to hold on and put me on hold while someone comes into Her office.  i still get nervous.

"Would you like some sissy sex tonight when I get home" she asked me and, with just a slight pause added "I would" before i could even answer.  i told Her i would enjoy that.  "Good, get yourself looking pretty for me and have the strap-on and stuff ready and I'll be home by 6 o'clock" She said and hung up.

i was ready well before 6, a pink flowered babyoll top with matching bikini panties and some pink ballet type slippers were all i wore.  i debated whether or not i should put a touch of makeup on or some jewelry but decided against it.  The bed was taken down and Diane's strap-on, lubricant and a couple of small towels also lay on the bed, ready for Her use.

She hadn't arrived by 6:30 so i called Her cell phone and when it rang, i could tell from the beep at the end of the ring that She was on a call, so i hung up without leaving a message.  A few minutes later She called back and said She was just a few minutes away.  "You're just a horny little sissy and can't wait" She laughed.

Indeed a few minutes later She was walking through the door and it didn't take Her long to slip out of Her clothes and into the strap-on.  As She did, i admired Her body and how beautiful She looked to me.  When She was done, i approached Her and started to kiss Her softly on the lips and and touch Her arms softly.

"Don't be wasting time.  Get your girly bottom on the bed and show me how much you want it" she barked, somewhat out of character.  Our lovemaking is usually soft and sensual, but last night it had a much different feel to it.  When i lay on my back and spread my legs, Diane immediately told me to turn over because She wanted to take me doggie style.

The softness in style that i usually enjoy was replaced by a firmness that i wasn't familiar with.  She was far more verbal with me.  i can't remember how many times She used the term "sissy".  She made me beg for Her "cock", making me tell Her how much i loved Her "cock."  There were plenty of slaps on my bottom also between the Hard strokes of the strap-on.

The difference was noticeable, even though i couldn't describe it exactly, then just before i climaxed as She seemed to be deeper inside of me then She'd ever been, i realized what it was.  There was more of a "manliness" to Her lovemaking.  i came like a woman, letting out some deep moans and cries as my juices dampened the towel Diane had placed under me.  It was an awesome orgasm.

Later, i couldn't help but wonder if Diane's approach to our lovemaking was a reflection of some of the things She had done with Brian.  Was She treating me like Brian treated Her?  Rougher? More manly? More verbal?  She called me Her sissy very often while She made love to me.  Did Brian have a special name for Her?

my sissy cuckold mind was working overtime last night.

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Sissy Dates

My golf date with Jake went real well on Friday.  i picked him up at his house in the afternoon and even though there was no one around, we didn't want to take the chance to fool around just in case his wife came home early.  Well, we fooled around just a little bit!  He wanted to see the panties i was wearing and when i lowered my shorts to show him, he didn't hesitate to have me turn around and model them for him.  He also caressed my butt which immediately sent me swooning and got me aroused. 

i wasn't the only one aroused!  Jake took my hand and put it over his crotch.  i loved the feeling and couldn't help myself.  Instinctively, i was on my knees in his kitchen and feeling for his cock.  He stopped me, but only briefly, so we could move over to the dining room where he could stand and see if anyone was coming up the driveway!  His home is set about 40 or 50 yards from the road and the dining room window allowed him to see anyone driving up to the house.

i felt so submissive and feminine on my knees taking care of Jake's masculine needs.  At the same time, i was fulfilling needs of my own.  The need to serve.  The need to feel like a man's "wife", "girlfriend" or "sissy."  The need to please.  And the need to feel a man in my mouth.  i was totally aroused but didn't touch myself.  i hoped Jake wouldn't make me play with myself like the last time and he didn't.  Sometimes, the Dominant's pleasure is more than satisfying for a submissive.

The golf was fun.  Of course, we shared the same cart and Jay would often sneak a nice feel on my smooth legs.  i really loved that.  We also got a chance to talk.  At one point, he told me that he'd like to have me wear a bra, maybe just a sports bra, when we played golf.  i was surprised at that comment but so  happy.  It made me feel like he was enjoying my femininity and would be willing to exploit it even more.

We also talked about future dates.  We're going to meet some day this week, possibly at my place and i want to wear something special for him.  We also talked about the possibility of going on a golfing weekend together!  i'm not sure how much golf we would play but the thought of spending a weekend with him would be so awesome!

When we got back to his place his wife was there and Jake introduced me to her.  Nancy seemed very nice and was both welcoming and hospitable.  She asked if we wanted something to drink and some snacks so i stayed a little while and chatted.  She asked if my wife played golf and i jokingly answered that the fact that she didn't was probably the secret to our successful marriage.  She laughed about that and said that she also didn't play.  The meeting went well and Jake seemed like he was relaxed about it.  i thought he looked a little tense at first but by the time i left, he was fine. 

In closing today's post, i do have to say that meeting Jake has been really great for me.  However, it does bring up a small dilemma that i've been struggling with internally for several weeks.  Ken, the man i had an affair with until he moved away, will be visiting in a couple of weeks.  i told Jake about Ken, but not that i was planning to see him while he was here.  i've thought it over and gone back and forth.  As much as i wanted to see Ken and play with him, things have changed and i wouldn't feel right being intimate with him while doing the same with Jake.

i know it sounds silly, but when i met Jake, we were both looking for a regular friendship that wouldn't involve running around with others.  i know i would be disappointed if Jake saw an old friend of his and had sex with him.  i've decided that i'm probably going to have lunch with Ken or something like that but no sex.  i hope he understands.

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"What Color Panties....

...are you wearing today?" Jake asked me as soon as i answered his call yesterday afternoon.  It was the very first thing he said and i felt excited and relieved at the same time.  Excited just by the way he said it; dominant, firm and demanding of an answer.  Within the question lied the insinuation that i had better be wearing panties.  Relieved that the question was proof that he was more interested in my feminine side that i thought.  The fears i relayed in one of my earlier posts were more imagined than real.

"i'm wearing pink ones" i told him. 

"Describe them to me" he said.

i went on to describe the pair of pink, size 6, cotton candy colored Jockey bikini panties i was wearing.  They were sort of "striped", with two different shades of pink stripes running horizontally on the panties, one stripe a deeper shade of pink than the other to provide contrast.  i own several similar pairs, mostly pink but one in white and another in blue.

"I bet you look very sexy in them" he said.  i blushed, not knowing what to say.  "i try to" i said.

"Good girl" he answered. 

Wow.  What a feeling to hear that from him.  It made me feel so feminine and in need of his attention.

We talked for about 20 minutes.  Jake admitted that it was a good idea to meet Diane and even suggested that at some point I meet his wife so that she could also view me as a new friend or golfing buddy.  We're going to try to meet this Friday at the gym and i will have him over "for coffee" after our workout!  Diane will be at work and it will be just the two of us.  i'm a little nervous, hoping that everything goes just right!

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Golfing Panties

Guess what i'm wearing for my golf date with Jake today?

 i chose the pink one's of course.  And just the panties.  i don't want to overdo it!

And the best part is that they are a gift from Diane!  That's right, she bought each of us a bra and panty set.  Her's is the grey one with pink bows.  She knows how much i love polka dots and bows.  i'm so excited.

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Downer of a Day

Yesterday turned out to be somewhat of a downer.  When the woman at the front desk at the gym scanned me in, she told me to wait a second before i went into the locker room because i had a message.  She found an envelope that had my name on it and handed it to me.  The message was from Jake, apologizing that he couldn't make it to the gym Thursday or Friday, that something came up at work and he'd be out of town.  "Let's try Saturday" was how the message closed.

The message really bummed me out.  As nervous as i was about having coffee with him, there was also plenty of angst and constant worry about whether or not i was reading this right and even if i was, how i was supposed to act.  Now with this cancellation, i would be filled with at least a few more days of nervousness. 

This isn't like someone you meet online where you post an ad that, if written properly, should explain the type of person you are looking for.  When you do that, the people who respond aren't usually surprised by your interests and fantasies if you've been honest.  This situation with Jake makes me feel like a teenage girl in high school!  Even if i am reading this correctly, and he is interested in me sexually, i still have to somehow make sure he's okay with my femme side.  It's possible he suspects it because of my smooth legs, but somehow i doubt it.   i've gone over ways i can bring it up in a conversation (if our conversation ever gets far enough) and will continue to fret over it.

I also started "my period" yesterday.  When i walked into the bathroom yesterday morning, Diane had set out my box of Maxipads, a non-verbal signal that i should put one on immediately.  By my calculations, i wasn't due to "start" and mentioned it to Her.  "You must have miscalculated" was Her answer.  i wore the pad.

Leaving the box of Maxipads out on the bathroom vanity was a clear message from Diane.  She didn't have to spell it out either.  i shouldn't expect to be exempt from having my period just because i was seeing Jake, now or in the future.   It had nothing to do with my miscalculating.

i know i'm getting ahead of myself, probably way ahead.  But, if things work out with Jake and we do get together, i'm either going to have to make excuses during "my time of the month", or i'm going to have more explaining to do.

i feel a little better today.  i went to the gym early and am back at home getting ready to do some ironing.  After my shower i'm going to wear something nice to do the housework.   Maybe something different like some tight ladies jeans and heels.  i may even put on a little bit of makeup.  Just because a girl is having her period doesn't mean she can't look pretty.

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Some Deep Sissy Feelings

i feel very feminine today.  More so than usual.  i've gotten all dressed up from head to toe just to do housework and some ironing.  That includes makeup, wig, some jewelry, etc.  The whole works.  After i get done with all my housework i'd love to throw caution to the wind and just go out and do some shopping while dressed this way.

i might change to something a little more casual and more in line with what an attractive middle aged woman might wear while running a few errands.  Maybe a nice pleated skirt, some heels, pantyhose, sweater, blonde wig, sunglasses and a matching purse.  I'd love to capture a few glances but not too many.  That would be way to risky. 

Shopping while dressed en femme poses another challenge at times for some cd's.  Unless your paying in cash, you have to use your credit and debit card which has your male name on it.  i don't really have that problem.  Although i spell my sissy name as "terri", my real name is Terry.  It's one of those unisex names that, when you have a lifestyle like mine, certainly has its advantages.

There's a reason i feel very femme today.  It's something that's been brewing for the past couple of months and i haven't discussed it here because i felt a little silly.  i just brought it up to Diane this weekend and only when we were discussing our summer plans.  She was asking me when Ken (my old 'boyfriend') was going to be around.  After telling Her when i thought he'd be in town, i came clean and told Her about the reason for my feeling so femme today.

i go to the gym nearly every day, and usually around the same time.  Naturally, i tend to see many of the same people who follow similar routines.  There's been one man who always seems to be there around the same time as me.  We've never really talked much, but just exchanged some hello's or waves, more out of courtesy than anything else.  Or so I thought. 

The last few weeks i've caught him looking over at me a few times and our eyes sort of met if you know what i mean.  The last couple of times i actually felt myself blushing.  He's a good looking man, tall (maybe about 6'3" and 210 lbs), muscular, clean cut, greying hair and probably in his late 50's or early 60's.   Last week,  i was away on business for a couple of days and when i returned on Friday he actually approached me in said "I missed you the last couple of days.  Nice to see you back.  I'm Jake."  He extended his hand and i did the same.  We shook hands, his grip so much stronger than mine. 

i introduced myself to him and we talked a little bit.  While i was doing so i couldn't help but notice him sort of checking me out, glancing at my smooth legs.  i used to wear long sweat pants or something similar because of my smooth legs but have since stopped doing that.  As he glanced, i could feel myself blushing again.  He was just finishing his workout and was getting ready to head out.  "I'm sure we'll see each other again.  Nice meeting you" he said with a wink.  "Same here.  Really nice to meet you" I told him.   After i said it, i worried that it sounded stupid.  i seemed to put emphasis on the word "really" and wondered what he thought.  i felt like he was almost "flirting" with me, but maybe i was misreading the whole thing.  i couldn't get Jake off my mind the rest of the day.

i ran into Jake again this morning at the gym.  i hadn't seen him earlier in the week and thought i would approach him and say hello and probably let him know that i noticed he wasn't around.  When i did, he smiled and said that he and his wife were out of town for a couple of days to attend a funeral but was back to his regular routine.  Then, he surprised me by asking if i were going to be around tomorrow and if i'd like to get a coffee after the workout!   "Sure, that would be great" i told him.  We agreed to meet at the gym tomorrow at our regular time and head out for coffee after.

So right now, my mind is on overdrive.  i can't be misreading this thing can i?  Even if i'm not, and Jake is bi and attracted to me, i'm scared to break the ice about my fem side.  Some men are totally turned off by things like that.  i certainly have to be careful and tread carefully here.  i'm nervous as can be, but excited at the same time.  No wonder i feel so girly today!

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Spoiling my Wife

Last night's dinner party with friends went quite well.  It's amazing when you're leading a "secret life" and involved in a different type of lifestyle how comments made by others, as well as my wife Diane take on a whole different meaning.  They also have quite an effect on me and make great fodder for a later discussion. 

For instance, when someone commented how tastefully decorated our home was, Diane couldn't help but mention how I was responsible for most of it.  "Since Terry's retired, you wouldn't believe how much easier he's made things for me here at home" was her response.  Even though we both served dinner, she also mentioned that the only thing she was responsible for was the salad, and that I had "slaved in the kitchen all afternoon.  He's picked up so many new skills in the last  year" she quipped. 

During coffee and desert, there was a sports discussion and one of the men was a big Chicago Cubs fan and bemoaning how poorly they were doing.  Diane chimes in and says "Oh, we have a good friend of ours Brian who is absolutely crazy about the Cubs.  He gets so passionate about things and the Cubs are no different. "  Motioning to me she adds "Don't you agree that he goes overboard at times?"  I obediently agreed.

After everyone left, I donned my apron and did whatever needed to be done.  Diane helped a bit and told me that I had done a splendid job in preparation for the evening.  "I'm so happy to have you as my wife" she said as she put her hands around my waist and squeezed me.  She undid my apron and said "Get this pretty apron off, head upstairs and get yourself pretty.  I need you."

There was no mistaken what her "needs" were.  They're no longer the traditional straight sex needs a woman might have for her husband.  I knew exactly what she meant.

Afters slipping into a cream colored teddy, I was meeting those needs orally, enjoying my space between her legs. 

"You really spoil me you know that?" she asked after her first orgasm was over.  Before I could answer she said "But I wouldn't have it any other way."

I lay there with my head on one of her thighs as she stroked my hair.  A slight nudge was all I needed to know she wanted me to please her again.  

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Being a Good Wife

We're having three other couples over for a dinner party tomorrow night.  One of them is Diane's boss at work, Ron and his wife Aliia.  The others are friends of ours with one of the couples already having met Ron and Alicia.  It's an important dinner for Diane.  Her boss has been somewhat of a mentor to her and Diane is on the short list to replace him when he retires next year. 

In preparation for tomorrow night, I've been busy all day here at home as well as running errands to get things done and pick up what we need for dinner.  As I go about my duties today dressed totally in feminine garb while at home, including my very frilly apron, I realize just how comfortable and happy I am when I do wife-like things.

I changed to go out and pick up the groceries for tomorrow night, but quickly got back into my preferred attire when I got back home.  Tomorrow night, I obviously won't be dressed while our guests are here and I'm certain Diane won't be making any inappropriate comments and ordering me around like the submissive sissy that I am.  However, I'll be helping her as much as possible, even taking primary responsibility for preparing the dinner.  Our friends know I enjoy cooking and am quite good at it, so that won't be anything unusual for them to see.

If society were more accepting, I wouldn't hesitate to don my best apron and show exactly what my role is in our marriage.   It's disappointing but understandable that I can't do that.  Diane has other ways to help fulfill my desires.

She called me just a little while ago and asked "How's my little wife doing?  Staying busy?"

I listed everything that I had done and told her what I had left to do.  She also added a couple of items to my list.

"You've been a busy girl" she said, "I hope you're not too tired when I get home or have a headache.  I'm going to want to fuck you.  You deserve it."

I love being her sissy.

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