Paul's Note, Chastity & Pretty Panties

i received Paul's response to my email accepting his rules which also had the daily chastity report which i send to Diane attached to it.  

Sissy,

I believe you've made the right decision and believe you'll be happy.

I know Diane and I will.  

February chastity % needs improvement.

"Sir"

The short message helped increased my anxiety once again, wondering exactly what he meant by "I know Diane and I will."  Of course they've discussed this before but i wonder just exactly what they have planned to be so confident that they'll enjoy this?  i certainly don't look at this with any guarantees for success, nor do i look at it with gloom and doom either.  i believe it has a good chance to work out, but the confidence i felt when reading the message gave me pause.  As usual, Diane felt i am making too much of it.

The comment on chastity was a bit surprising.  Paul's Rules made it clear that he wanted a copy of the daily chastity report, but he only insisted that I be in chastity when he was around.  Other than those times, it is all up to Diane.  With access to the report, he's going to know how much time i spend in chastity every day and will comment whenever he wants.  In addition, since our (Diane's and mine) orgasms are now included as part of the report, Paul will have access to that information as well.

The time i've spent in chastity this month is low by comparison to January.  It will be even lower after today, since i'll once again be flying cross country.  i've got instructions to get into the chastity belt as soon as i get home, put on a numbered lock, take a picture of it and send it to Diane who won't be back until Saturday.

In some ways i'm disappointed that i didn't fly with my chastity belt.  The risk of going through airport security and having to endure additional scrutiny (much of which i believe would be quite public) isn't something i wanted to go through and Diane thankfully agreed.  While the CB-3000 could pass through the metal detectors with a plastic lock, there's the scanners that could cause a problem. 

Fortunately, i'm able to fly in panties.  "Big boy underwear" (as Diane likes to call it) just doesn't feel natural anymore. 

Unfortunately though, the panties i'll be wearing to fly aren't as pretty as these....

But then again, how many are?

love,

sissy terri

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Accepting Paul's Rules

Last night, much to my surprise Diane suggested that rather than wait until we return home, i let Paul know of my decision to accept the rules he set out for my full cuckold involvement with he and Diane. 

"Include Paul on the daily Chastity Report you send me tomorrow morning" She told me.  "I think it will it would be a very pleasant surprise.  I'm sure you'll make him happy.  Sending him the report was one of his rules right?"

It certainly was and in retrospect it was one that he appeared to emphasize a bit more than some of the others.  Diane believes he has no interest in being my "keyholder" other than at the times he is
there with us.  She also has not intention of relinquishing Her rights as my ultimate keyholder.  

Originally, Diane seemed to want to have some sort of formalized or symbolic event or scene where i would officially accept his terms in front of the two of them.  But always one to spring the element of surprise on me, She's now done the same thing to Paul.  Diane also wanted me to include January's Chasity Report in my email to him, giving him "a greater understanding of how this works."

Diane's "suggestion" fell short of a strict directive but i knew it's what She wanted me to do.  i refer to it as a suggestion because She did ask me what i thought about it.  i was surprised at Her suggestion, believing that all this would have to wait until we got back.  The wait was making me anxious for several reasons, one of course was wondering what Diane had planned and how all this would play out.  By doing it this way, much of that anxiety is gone or at least diminished.  i told Her it was a good idea.

So this morning, i entered yesterday's data on my time in chastity, attached the January and February reports to the email i routinely send to Diane each morning, added Paul's email address to the "To" line, wrote a brief message to both of them, and clicked "Send."

The message to Paul in part read:

"Sir....after careful consideration i've decided to accept the rules you set out at our meeting on January 14th and the subsequent discussion we had on January 23rd.  Beginning today, i will include you on this Daily Chastity Report....i look forward to doing my best to make this work so that it is pleasurable to both you and Diane.

submissively,

sissy terri

i let Diane read the note before i sent it and She thought it was nice.  i'd originally signed off with "regards" instead of "submissively."  The latter was Her suggestion, saying that it expressed a deeper commitment.  i agreed.

i'm not completely sure when i will get to see Paul with Diane next, but right now it looks like it will be next Wednesday.  i'm sure the anxiety might build up again, but for now at least i feel a bit relieved.

love,

sissy terri

p.s. - A special thanks, hugs and kisses to Candi for the beautiful post about her new maids uniform and the beautiful picture!  Aren't i lucky to have such a sweet and beautiful sissy gurlfriend?

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A Sissy Cuckold's Chastity Progression

Nearly three years ago i wrote a post entitled "Too Much Work" where, after i'd brought up the idea of keeping me in chastity at times to Diane, She immediately dismissed it.  She felt it was too much work for the Dominant partner in any relationship and preferred "low maintenance domination."  How times have changed.

Fast forward to this past June when during a phone conversation we had while i was away on a short business trip, Diane was the one who brought up the chastity discussion.  Her hinting at it and the suggestion that maybe She'd make me wear one only when i was at home or when She was with Her lover Paul aroused me.  She was teasing me and though i enjoyed it, never thought that the idea would go much further.  i was wrong.

Then this fall Diane surprisingly and suddenly set chastity as a condition of my seeing Jake again.  Jake had contacted me and wanted to get together again but i needed Diane's permission.  She took Her time in making up Her mind.  i wrote about Her decision and how shocked i was when She said:

"You can see Jake" Diane said.  i immediately thanked Her but was quickly interrupted.  "I'm not finished.  There's a condition attached to my decision.  If you're going to see him, you're going to be wearing a chastity belt when you do."

More shocking was the fact that She'd already ordered a chastity belt for me; the pink CB-3000.

Then in late December, when the time i was spending with Jake became less frequent when he began dating a woman after his divorce, Diane took it a step further.  On New Year's Eve while we were on a ski vacation, She announced that as part of "our" New Years Resolutions, i was to begin a daily calendar that would log how much time i spent in and out of chastity.  Each day i provide Her with the updated calendar.  It contains daily, weekly and month-to-date percentages of my time in chastity, along with notes.  The notes explain why i was out of chastity as well some of my own personal thoughts.  Yesterday marked four full weeks under this new regimen.  i've spent approximately 88% of 2015 in chastity.

Another surprising, and peripherally related, event took place on Monday, January 12th.  We hosted Diane's friend Linda that night to watch the Ohio State - Oregon national championship game.  Diane delivered another shocker, telling Linda:

....that Paul would be coming over on Wednesday afternoon like he usually does but this time, "terri will be here and won't be hiding this time.  It's all in the open now between the three of us."

The announcement was a shocker to me, though Diane made it seem like i knew all along.  It was difficult to hide my embarrassment and shock, but i was aroused.

Then just two days after that on Wednesday the 14th, i sat down with Paul and Diane and listened to his "rules" for me as a cuckold, two of which related directly to my chastity.  They are:

• When the three of us are together i must always be in chastity and he will determine if i am allowed out of it.  At all other times, that's up to Diane.
• i am to send him a copy of the daily chastity report i send to Diane. 

And finally last night, Diane added one more small but not insignificant requirement to my daily chastity report.  Beginning on February 1st, i will also be required to keep track of those days on which either of us has an orgasm.  There's to be a column for each of us.  If Diane has an orgasm (or more than one) on that day, i am to highlight it in green.  If i have one, it's to be highlighted in pink.

This most recent command from Diane made me realize just how few orgasms i've been allowed to have this past month.  i don't even remember when the last one was.  i think it was two weekends ago.

i hope i haven't bored you with this post which is more or less just a summary of how my chastity has progressed, a timeline of sorts that helps put this part of my life in a different perspective. 

Orgasms are indeed an important part of someone's sex life.  We tend to view them as some type of "mark of success" of any particular sex act.  For many, i suppose it's impossible to separate sex and orgasms.  Seems like you need one with the other. 

i'm beginning to understand how that isn't necessarily true.  i can't quite explain it but i can feel it. 

It's almost unbelievable how things have changed, Diane's attitude towards chastity in particular.  i also can't help but wonder when, in the course of the events i've just described, Diane might have decided to connect or link my chastity to the decisions She's made in the past several months. 

love,

sissy terri

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Pondering Paul's Rules

Paul and Diane arrived just after 3 PM yesterday afternoon.  By 4:30 Paul had left and Diane was in bed trying to get some rest and fight off Her worsening cold.  i was left alone trying to process what had happened in the last hour and a half.

The early casual and innocuous conversation which included some minor teasing by the two of them suddenly turned into a more formal "meeting" to go over what Paul termed "ground rules."  The three of us were gathered around the island in our kitchen, Paul seated between the two of us.  i was to his right with Diane snuggled up close to him on the other side.  When Paul suggested i get a pencil and paper to take notes i knew this wasn't going to be a discussion.  i was there to listen.

For a brief moment i wanted to speak up.  i wanted to say "hold on a minute" or something that would shift the balance of power that was establishing itself so suddenly.  But i didn't.  i suppose it's my submissive nature, my personality, my DNA, who knows.  Before i knew it, Diane had already retrieved a pad of paper and a pencil and slid it in front of me.

Paul began by saying that for this to work, it had to be enjoyable and emotionally fulfilling for all three of us and "Not just you terri."  He made a point to say that in his opinion enjoyment and fun were two different things.  "There might be times where this isn't much fun, especially for you and I can understand that."  i was still smarting from how firmly he took control of this casual meeting, yet i understood what he meant.

Before he went over ground rules, he first wanted to talk about his relationship with Diane.  He firmly stated that it wasn't nor would it ever be his intent to take Diane away from me.  "It's not what She wants and it's not what I want, so that is one thing you don't have to worry about."  It was nice to hear and comforting since he said it with such conviction.

The next part of our meeting was very uncomfortable for me and i sensed the same from Diane.  Paul addressed the kinky side of their play.  i knew Diane enjoyed being submissive to Paul, i just never realized to what extent.  Now i knew.  "Diane's my submissive when I'm with Her, and only at times I specify.  you'll need to get comfortable with that.  It's all safe.  I do nothing to Her that She's not comfortable with.  She has a safe word.  I want you to know this ahead of time."  Of course, i'm paraphrasing here, but that was the gist of what he was telling me.  i was surprised and shocked.  i looked at Diane but didn't make eye contact with Her.  She suddenly looked so submissive with Her head down and eyes lowered.  Again, i said nothing and Paul quickly moved to his ground rules.

He told me i should write these down and if there was anything that wasn't clear to ask questions now.

In summary, here are Paul's rules.

• When the three of us are together both Diane and i are his submissives.  i have to obey them both, but his orders take precedence over Hers.
• i will need to come up with a safe word. 
• Unless we are in a public setting, i will always address him as "Sir."
• When the three of us are together i must always be in chastity and he will determine if i am allowed out of it.  At all other times, that's up to Diane.
• i am to send him a copy of the daily chastity report i send to Diane.
• i cannot have regular intercourse with Diane.  (This one stung a little when he joked that this shouldn't be a big problem since Diane had already shared with him that it had been years since i'd been allowed inside her anyway.)
• Absolute discretion.  ("I want it as much as you guys do.")
• No sex with others.  None at all.  ("That means no Jake.")
• If I don't agree with these ground rules then things will revert back to the way they were.  He and Diane will continue to see each other the way they have been.
• If I agree, then it's a total commitment.  No picking and choosing what I want and don't want.
• Once this starts, any of us can put an end to it at any time.  No questions asked and no hysterics.  We have the right to walk away.
• There could be other rules that might be added, but they would be minor in nature.

Paul wrapped up the discussion be saying he didn't want an answer today.  He wanted me to take my time and think about it.  "Take at least a week.  After a week, let me know if you've made a decision.  But no more than two weeks" he said assertively.   He stated that he and Diane had discussed these ahead of time and She was in full agreement with all of them.

He asked if i had any questions and i said no.  It was all pretty clear and i didn't really feel like talking.  i was probably too embarrassed.  i should have said something sooner.  Much sooner.  But the most startling and unnerving revelation of the whole afternoon was about to come.

"I really want to make this work.  I want to please the both of you, but my pleasure is also important"
he said.  "You're lucky to have Diane.  You have no idea how hard She's worked to get to this point.  I've read your blog so I think I understand your needs.  I believe this can be enjoyable.  For all of us."

When he said he knew about the blog i felt sick to my stomach.  It was an awful feeling.  i looked at Diane and again She was looking away.  i felt betrayed.  This blog is where i bared my soul and shared my innermost feelings, fantasies, kinks, etc.  Now he knew everything, or had access to all of it.

Paul obviously sensed my shock and told me to "Relax.  It's all safe.  It was important that I understand."  He ended the meeting by telling me to take my time to think about all he'd brought up.

The meeting formally ended when he took Diane by the hand and led Her to our bedroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Naturally, it was a very emotional evening for both Diane and i.  Very testy at times. We both said things we shouldn't have. There were apologies.

i've got lots to process.  Not the least of which is how i can go about blogging the way i always have.  There's been a set of eyes peering in on and studying this blog.  And not just any set of eyes.  They belong to my Wife's lover.

love,

sissy terri

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