Sissy Shopping Frustrations

Tumblr is such a treasure trove of beautiful dresses, lingerie and all types of ladies wear.  However sometimes it's so frustrating because you often can't find where to buy some of those beautiful things.

What sissy wouldn't love this?
i'm home alone today since Diane is on call and had to go into work so i decided to treat myself to something cute and sexy.  That's with Diane's permission of course.  Maybe She's going to find some time to spend with Paul today while her sissy wife is at home buying dresses and She feels a little guilty.  Probably not :)

i found this gorgeous little skirt and top set on the tumblr site "Passion for Lingerie."  i was elated when it actually had a source for the picture, which linked to a website called "1staab.com."  However i got very frustrated when i couldn't find the item at all on the website! 

The picture was especially eye-catching because it came with this comment:  "Just a ridiculously cute and girlish outfit." 

i think most sissies would love to be called "ridiculously cute and girlish!"

i'm still searching and hope i find it.  There are some things that a gurl just has to have!


sissy terri
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A Sissy Maid-in-Waiting

i wish (and maybe my readers do too) that i had some very sexy and salacious details to report to you about Diane's meeting with Her lover Paul yesterday afternoon.  Their meeting took place in our home and their sex in our bedroom, all while i stayed in a guest bedroom at the other end of the house while dressed in my maids uniform.

Other than hearing the two of them arrive, Paul express a bit of nervousness to Diane fearing that "someone" would pop by and, his nervousness and anxiety obviously gone after their sex, their amorous embrace as they said their goodbyes, i have very little to report.

i too was a bit nervous at the outset.  i stood by the window waiting for them to arrive and when i saw the two cars make their way up our steep driveway i felt my heart beat a bit faster.  i waited and listened for the door to our garage to open and i could hear Diane's laughter in what i assume was Her attempt to put Paul at ease.  Had they stayed in the great room i would have been able to hear them, but Diane was quick to whisk Paul away into our bedroom. 

Almost ninety minutes later after their final embrace Diane came to the door of our bedroom and greeted me with a big hug and thanked me for being so understanding.  In the same bed that Paul made love to Her, i made love to Her also but in a submissive sort of way.  my mouth and lips were in and on the same places his hands and cock were.  She got pleasure from the two of us but in oh so different ways.  The time i spent pleasing Her while thinking about what had happened put me into a very deep subspace.  We capped off the evening by going out to dinner at one of our favorite places.

my initial reflections were that the whole afternoon was a little anticlimactic.  Both i and Paul were nervous for nothing.  There was no risk of my "discovering" him with my wife, nor was there a risk that Diane would expose me as Her cuckolded sissy husband in front of him.  Other than the time i spent in our bedroom after Paul had been there, i didn't feel much different than i normally do and that surprised me.

The Sissy Maids
However my feelings today have been different and a bit mixed.  Even though i didn't at the time, this morning i felt real silly about being made to sit in a room by myself dressed in a maids uniform.  Diane was the only one that saw me in it and only for a brief period.  i feel silly because i understand that there was no point in my being dressed that way.  No point whatsoever.  Diane made me do it because She could. 

My feelings were mixed because as embarrassed and silly as i feel about it, knowing that She could exercise Her control and power over me in that way makes me love Her even more and want to be even more submissive if that's even possible. 

It's also made me wonder how it's even possible for a "normal" heterosexual male like Paul to understand a cuckold like me.  If Diane's affair with Paul were ever to include me as the submissive cuckold it seems to me that he would somehow have to understand my submissiveness.  As submissive as i've become, i don't think that's likely to happen.


sissy terri
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Early crossdressing - part 2...

Hi there everyone, Candi here. Firstly, I must apologize for the long space between this and my last post. Simply (well, actually, it's not simple, but..) a matter of life, in all it's glory, getting in the way. Work has been invading all sorts of off-limit corners of my life, plus family and friends, etc, etc. Anyway, I'm taking a week off from all the craziness, and I'm very happy to use some of that time to catch up.

And I have a particular thought in mind. A few weeks ago, terri posted a piece on Sissy Bras and Sunsuits which included reference to an early crossdressing experience she had. It triggered a strong memory of a similar experience for me, that happened when I was around 3 or 4 years old.

I usually think of my first connection to my girlie side as being an experience I had around 6 yrs old, when I was lying in bed one night. I had just started to become aware of sexual feeling (especially how good it felt to run and touch myself) and was starting to touch myself when this powerful thought hit me - 'what if I was a *girl* ???!?!?'. It was very powerful, and things have never been the same since. But in fact, terri's post reminded me that there was an even earlier incident, in some ways more profound, which I want to tell you about.

It happened during summer, in a house we lived in on a suburban cul-de-sac in North London (I grew up in England). I was around 3 or 4 yrs old, and was playing at a neighbors house, with their children, who were all girls, a little older than myself - probably 6 - 8 yrs old. It was hot, and we were playing outside in a paddling pool - lots of water around. I did not have a swimsuit, and of course with all the running around, splashing, throwing water at each other, I got soaked. The mother of the girls didn't want me to go home all wet, and since I didn't have a change of clothes, she took me inside to find me something else to wear. And what did she come up with, but a pair of frilly panties belonging to one of the girls I had been playing with. I seem to recall she briskly striped me down, and told me to put on these panties, saying something to the effect that I couldn't go home all wet, and these would do until I got home.

I don't remember much else that happened, perhaps my mother was a little upset at me wearing girls clothing, but I'm not really sure. What I do remember was the feelings that wearing girls clothing evoked in me. Embarrassment - wearing girls clothing in front of the girls I had been playing with. A little anger - being almost forced to wear girls clothing when I knew I was a boy. And shame - shame at the sexual excitement it made me feel.

But then, at that time, I didn't have names for all these feelings. It's only in retrospect that I can name them. Then, they were pure experience, pure feeling, and - I think - because of that, much more profound. I did not know what the feelings were, but I knew how I felt, that wearing frilly panties touched off something very deep in me, something that was erotic, special - and that had to be kept secret, because it was not 'normal'. Boys didn't wear girls clothing - especially when it felt so good. It was as if stepping into those panties woke something up in me that was dormant, but had always been there from the moment I was born. They touched something in my deepest core, but  something that I could not name until a few years later, when I had the words. And that finally, I could not fully accept and explore in myself until much, much later, and which ultimately gets expressed in the here and now, as I type this for you and relate my story. It makes me realize that the girlie side of me is not a disguise or a costume (though I need one to express it !) but something that is a core, deep part of me. It's not the only thing, but it is part of who I truly am. And so, like some of you reading this, I see that it is vitally important to be it, own it, manifest it, as fully, safely and honestly as possible. Because that is who I - and you - are.

Kisses always,

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A Cuckold in the House

i thought my being home every day this week might throw a "kink" into Diane's plans to have Paul over late Wednesday afternoon.  i was correct.  Diane has managed to somehow throw Her own "kink" into the afternoon.

She wants me to be in the house, but totally out of sight and not to be heard, when She hosts Paul for an afternoon of sex.  It's not like i have to be locked up in a closet or something like that.  We have a large home with five bedrooms.  The guest bedroom where She wants me to stay while She's with Paul is quite large and comes with it's own full bathroom.  It's also at the farthest end of the house from where they will be playing (the master bedroom) and unlikely that they would hear anything like the television, radio, etc. 

Diane announced this to me this morning and also told me She wants me dressed in a maids uniform "just in case we need you for anything."  It's Her way of teasing me and making me a little anxious at the same time.  She's told me she's dropped "one or two" subtle hints about cuckolding to Paul but doesn't think he's caught on yet.  i doubt very much She'd spring such a surprise on me at this time.

"It's a turn on for me knowing you're in the house dressed in your maids uniform while I'm making love to another man in our bed" She said.  i guess by nature submissives are a selfish lot and i'm no different.  i tend to look at cuckolding strictly from my view point when it comes to fantasies, the things that arouse me, etc.  i give little thought to what arouses Diane beyond the physical sex She's having with Paul.

Given it's popularity, i suppose there is a reciprocal "turn on" for the wives who cuckold their husbands beyond the physical pleasure they get.  Like their submissive partners who are aroused by the humiliation of their wives being with another man, they enjoy dishing out that humiliation.  

Most blogs written by Dommes who cuckold their husbands don't touch on this aspect very much.  Blogs like Fetish Furniture Factory and All Mine have discussed it but not too many others.

i'd love to hear from the wives on this.  i know most of my readers are of the submissive cuckold male variety, but it would be nice for the ladies to chime in on this topic.  i know, there i go being selfish again :)

i won't be very "selfish" Wednesday afternoon though.  i'll be cooped up in the guest bedroom, dressed in my maids uniform while Diane enjoys sex with a "real man" in our bedroom at the other end of the house.  The solitude will provide me with plenty of time to reflect on what it's like to be a real cuckold.


sissy terri
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Complimenting A Sissy Cuckold

Home for a long weekend, i've been able to spend most of it with Diane.  She's not on call nor is She going to be with Her lover Paul.  i'm all Her's and She has my undivided attention. 

We spent a lazy Sunday afternoon lounging by the pool for awhile, careful not to take in too much sun even though we'd put plenty of sunscreen on.  We read a couple of Sunday papers, a few magazines and Diane finished a book She was reading on Her Kindle.  It was right after She finished that book that She told me my services would be required in our bedroom.   "Meet me there in five minutes" She said.

i watched Her head into the house and began to think about what She'd said, and how those words meant something different to me as Her sissy cuckold than they would to most other husbands.  i was pretty sure what was in store for me; i would please Diane in whatever way She wanted and no doubt it would involve providing Her with plenty of oral sex.  It's Her normal way of having sex with me. 

Diane looked so beautiful as She lay on the bed when i got to the bedroom.  She lay back on a two pillows with He knees slightly bent and Her legs spread.  i knew what i had to do and slid out of the pink ladies bathing suit bottom i'd been wearing by the pool.  my arousal was evident and Diane just smiled. 

Whenever i pleasure Diane i never fail to try and assess how powerful Her orgasms are.  As such, i'm really assessing my own performance.  i can't help but think that the more powerful Her orgasms, the better job i've done.  Sometimes She's more vocal than others as She climaxes, thrashes about more violently or squeezes my head between Her thighs with such force i think i'm going to pass out!    Yesterday afternoon, it seemed like all those things seemed to happen at the same time.

When it was over, while running Her hands though my hair as lay my head on her tummy Diane said "I love how you please me.  That was the best Big-O I've ever had."

Strapon Art
For a brief moment i thought about asking Her if it was better than any She'd had with Paul but i chose not to go there.  i simply wanted to enjoy the compliment.  i knew She was sincere and i appreciated it so very much.

"Thanks" i told Her.  "i love making You happy."

Diane told me to get Her strap-on because She wanted to reciprocate.  Using the strap-on is also Her normal way of pleasing me. 

She looked so beautiful wearing the strap-on.  The "make-believe-penis" She wore took nothing away from her femininity and it made me want Her more.  i asked Her if i could take a picture of Her but She refused.  "Just get on the bed and let me make love to you" She said.  i was happy to obey.

There was absolutely nothing routine or normal about my own orgasm.  It was also one of my best ever.


sissy terri
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The Traveling Sissy

i've actually missed posting here even though there is not much to report in the way of my life as a married sissy cuckold.  Diane continues to see Paul on a very regular bases, especially now that i'm traveling frequently because of my consulting business. 

Our home is available to them at most all times during the week and they certainly take advantage of it.  Knowing that Diane is in our marital bed with another man at any given time evokes strong emotional feelings not just from me but for Diane as well.  She mentioned the other day that as they're making love, She her excitement is heightened thinking of how She's cuckolding me!

A funny thing did happen last week just before one of their hookups at our home.  They went for a late afternoon lovemaking session and just as the two of them pulled up into our driveway, the cleaning lady was coming out the front door.  Diane had forgotten that the cleaning lady had told Her she would be at our place later that day instead of her regular 8 AM start!  Diane laughed that Paul was nervous and didn't know what to do.  Diane simply greeted the woman and introduced Paul as a friend of ours.

The situation made me think of how erotic it might be if i were at home doing my normal housework while dressed en femme and Diane came in for an afternoon session with Paul.  That particular fantasy excites as much as any other but i also know that it's also highly unlikely to ever happen to me!

i also had a little bit of an embarrassing situation while going through airport security on my way home last week.  i usually get away with just carry-on luggage and this trip was no different.  My luggage was randomly selected for extra screening and the FAA official (a mature matronly looking woman) got to see all of my pretty unmentionables (panties, bras and a couple of very pretty nighties).

i did my best to appear as if nothing was out of the ordinary and so did she but i could feel myself getting red from embarrassment while waiting for the luggage check to be over.  She did a better job than i did of appearing as if all were normal.  When it was over she simply handed the luggage back to me, said thanks and gave me a smile.  It was a big smile too.  Wonder what She was thinking?

Since then, i've thought about ways to keep the lingerie as discreet as possible in a small piece of luggage.  i don't want to have to check luggage all the time because it's such a time waster.  This week, i put my lingerie in an extra large kitchen plastic bag like the ones you would use to freeze things.  You can see that it's lingerie inside but you can also tell that there's nothing else in there.  My thought is that this would probably keep them from handling every piece of lingerie while in relatively full view of other passengers.  i haven't got selected for the random check this week yet, but if i do we'll see if this idea is any better.

Along the same idea, i looked at a few things on the web that might help my situation and came across this pretty little item that is made exclusively for packing bras and lingerie while traveling.  It might prevent all your lingerie from being held up and on display for all to see, but the item itself is sure to make a sissy like me blush.

If you're interested, i think it's available at Smartbroad.com.


sissy terri
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Happy Mother's Day

There's no more important job in this world than being a Mom.

Happy Mother's Day to every Mother everywhere and a special wish to my wonderful Wife Diane!


sissy terri
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Sissy Brides

With my traveling and being away from home most weekdays along with Diane's interest in Her lover Paul, i've had more free time for my imagination to wander.  And where else would it wander than into the realms of sissy or kinky thoughts?

If you're a follower or my tumblr blog "A Married Sissy Cuckold" you've probably noticed that i post very regularly there and quite often.  Tumblr is such a nice application to use on a smart phone and you can easily keep a blog fresh and up-to-date in just a few minutes.  Since it's so easy and user-friendly, I decided to start another tumblr blog called "The Sissy Brides."

I got the idea because of my interests in all things bridal related that I've written about on this blog here in the past.  Blog postings here, here and here give you an idea of my interests which i'm quite sure aren't that different from many other sissies!  I also was spurred on to do this by another lovely tumblr blog called "The Transgendered Bride."  Check it out and you'll see what i mean!

Like my A Married Sissy Cuckold blog i'm going to try to keep this new blog's focus on femininity
and sensuality and try to avoid posting bridal related porn.  i said i would "try" but sometimes there are posts with nudity that i find just so sensual i may make an exception.

If you're into bridal fantasies please check it out.  i'll bet you'll find a wedding dress or bridal lingerie that would look just perfect on you!


sissy terri
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Sissy Bras and Sunsuits

i find myself on the road again this week.  This leaves Diane with plenty of opportunities to host Her lover Paul in our home.  She already did so on Tuesday during the late afternoon and Her plan is to see him again some time this evening.  i'm amazed at the ease with which we have a discussion about Her potential meetings with him.  It's a testament to both our acceptance of the current situation in our marriage.

Nonetheless, there still is and probably always will be, some anxiety, angst, shame and humiliation knowing that another man is making love to my Wife in what is perceived to be our "marital bed."  All of this lessens over time, but i doubt it ever totally disappears. 

Diane also took an interest in my post the other day about Bra Shopping.  During our phone conversation last night She mentioned that "my" Victoria's Secret catalog had come in and there were some real pretty bras in it that She thought i would love.  It's a running joke in our household about
how the VS catalog comes addressed to me.  i'm sure many other males get one, even if they aren't sissies like i am.  All one has to do is purchase something at VS with a credit card and you're likely going to receive catalogs and other offers from them.  Diane's even made a joke of it to a few friends on how i'm the one who gets all the special offers like "buy 3 bras and get one free!"  Diane offered to buy a couple of the bras for me but decided it might be more fun to shop together when i'm home this weekend.  i had to agree.

My last post on Early Crossdressing urges and experiences brought to mind an incident that took place in my life when i was probably in kindergarten or first grade.  i've never written about it and i'm not sure why.  Probably because at the time, there was no sexual feelings attached to it because of how young i was.  Yet i remember it vividly....

i was staying with an aunt one summer afternoon.  My dad was working and my mom had something going on that day so i was left with my aunt for the hot summer day.  i had to female cousins, one older and one younger than i and they had a nice pool in their backyard.  My mother had forgotten to pack my bathing suit and when it came time to go swimming after lunch i had nothing to wear.

My aunt did her best to try to find something that could serve as a bathing suit for a young boy but came up empty.  It was hot and i wanted to go swimming and her only solution was to wear one of my older cousin's old sun suits.  i balked at the idea but with the 90+ degree heat and high humidity taking over in the afternoon,  but she convinced me that there was nothing wrong with putting the girls sun suit on and enjoying the pool. 

She put the sun suit on me and i jumped into the pool with my cousins.  My older cousin was a few years older than i was and the younger one just a year behind me.  All was well until one of my older cousin's friends made her way into their backyard.  Apparently, she had an open invitation to come over and swim whenever my cousin was in the pool. 

At first, this friend of hers thought i was a girl and it wasn't until my cousin told her that i was a "boy cousin that forgot his bathing suit" that she knew the truth.  She laughed and i was ashamed and for a brief moment wanted to get out of the pool and go in the house. Then it seemed like instantly, we were all back to playing as if there was nothing strange going on. 

i spent the afternoon in that girls' sun suit and felt very comfortable.  Many years later, i'd still be very comfortable.


sissy terri
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Early Crossdressing

i think most crossdressers had their first experiences with women's clothes while they were quite young.  my own started when i was probably in kindergarten. Those early experiences set the tone for a life that for me seems to have been fraught with a yearning that's never quite been totally satisfied. 

If only it were as simple as being able to enjoy wearing women's clothing.  Acceptance issues are challenging enough, but there's also the D/s aspect for some of us as well as sexual orientation issues.  my own sexual orientation isn't confusing to me anymore.  i'm a submissive bisexual and comfortable with it.  The challenge comes in finding an outlet to fulfill those sexual needs.  Enough about me :)

Bev over at the blog All Hers has a wonderful post about her own early crossdressing experiences.  i think Bev's blog was the first i ever discovered and i've read it faithfully.  Her posts are infrequent but always beautiful.  Her family's acceptance of her dressing at such a young age is unusual but certainly not unheard of.  Stop by her blog and read the post.  i think you'll enjoy it.

i'm home this weekend and only traveling a couple of days next week.  Amid the angst that i've been experiencing the past month in my relationship with Diane, there's still intimacy which helps me understand that She still loves me. 

Diane had read my post of a few days ago and when i got home last night after a busy week She suggested we go out for a glass of wine and some appetizers.  We showered together for the first time in a long time and i got to please Her while we were in the shower.  My own pleasure was left to my own accord while i pleased Her and She teased me.  i'm very accepting of that.  For a submissive, it seems so natural.

i was also made to wear the new bra i bought when we went out.  Even though it was a warm evening, i wore a navy blue blazer to cover the bra which was very noticeable under my pink golf
shirt.  Maybe someday i'll be brave enough and stop covering up.   And instead of a golf shirt i'll wear a nice sheer white blouse!


sissy terri
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Bra Shopping

i took a whole month off from blogging here for a few reasons.  The biggest one is that i'm having a difficult time dealing with being a cuckold.  And yet it was something i'd fantasized about for such a long time. 

Diane's admitted that She's in love with Paul but still loves me.  He's in love with Her but still loves his wife.  Neither Diane or Paul want to leave their spouses.  All this can't happen without changes in the relationships they have with their current spouses in my opinion.  i can't speak for Paul's wife. but in our case the change has been very noticeable. 

Diane's still dominant over me but not nearly as much as She was.  There's still some teasing about the cuckolding but even that has diminished.  And our sexual play has declined as well.  This has been brewing for awhile but it all seemed to come to a head about a month ago, and it happened when other work-related issues made our lives quite hectic. 

i decided to take on more consulting work and am traveling quite a bit.  My sissy wife duties have been taken over by a paid housekeeper.  i'm not home much except for weekends, leaving Diane plenty of time and space to play with Paul.

my desires to be with a man haven't gone away and Diane knows it.  She understands and is open to letting play with a man under safe and discreet conditions.  She admits it was selfish of Her to take that away from me in the first place even though i don't think it was.  As my Domme, She had every right to do that.

However, i've yet to begin looking for someone to play with.  i think Jake is out of the picture.  As fun as he was, he never really "got it."  He wasn't nearly as dominant a man as i would have liked and there were long periods of time where his bi urges would just disappear.  And since i've been traveling, i haven't had time to start looking.  i'm not a big fan of places like Craigslist or Collarme, but i don't know of many other places.  There's a site for mature bi and gay males called Silverdaddies and i've chatted with some nice people there so we'll see.

Let me finish this post on a little upbeat note.  i'm alone again this week and traveling so last night i decided to go do some shopping for something pretty and sissy.  Diane and i used to do this regularly but i can't remember the last time we did it.  i hope we do it again.

i decided i was going to buy myself a pretty bra, not worrying about what the salesperson would think or what they might say.  i would simply find a bra that i liked, pick it out and then pay for it. 

i found this pretty white bra with pink trim around the cups and a pretty little pink bow between the cups.  It's the only thing i bought and when i took it to the counter at Macy's the lady there asked me if i had found everything i was looking for.  i answered "yes" with a smile and a nod.  It was the truth but i could have also told her that there were so many other things that i wanted.

She told me it was a very pretty bra and i didn't say anything.  i even payed with a credit card.  i was a little uneasy at first when i started shopping, took the bra off the display rack and walked to the counter.  Fortunately the store wasn't busy but by the time i was finishing the transaction there was a woman behind me waiting to check out.

i know times have changed, but a man buying a bra in the lingerie section of a department store is still something that draws people's attention.  i wasn't looking to draw attention however.  i was just being myself. 
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