A Sissy's Musings

i really want to thank everyone who's left comments here, sent me emails, become a follower of this blog or my tumblr blog for their interest as well as their support since i began this little venture of mine.  i have to admit that there have been some difficult days as i struggle with what lies ahead and what it means for my relationship with Diane.  Throughout it all, She's always expressed Her love for me and kept telling me that She always wants me to be a part of Her life.

The two blogs have helped me to express myself in somewhat of a private yet public way.  i can retain some anonymity while at the same time share my feelings with a growing number of friends.  In some ways i wish the blog was more interactive.  Some posts get more comments than others and that's certainly understandable.  i write what i feel and sometimes about things that interest me.  Naturally, those things aren't always going to be topics that interest all of my readers, so comments tend to vary.  But do know that i love it when you comment.

i also made the decision soon after i started these two blogs that i would leave out material that was in my opinion of an overly explicit sexual nature.  i do enjoy all of those things (yes, i do have a very kinky side) very much but i didn't want that to "take over" the blog and hide my attempts to share my inner feelings and emotions. 

i am happy to be blogging again.  i think i'm finding a balance; not worrying about blogging every day and taking several days off if i have to or just can't get to it.  i've adapted real well to being a housewife for Diane.  A couple of day's ago She said that this was the easiest and happiest holiday season She's had in years.  "It's all because of you" She added and gave me a passionate kiss.

The kissing continued upstairs in our bedroom.  i kissed Her all over and when She was satisfied several times, i was told to get Her strap-on.  As She made love to me, i thought about Her and Brian.  Especially how he had and would once again be making love to Diane in the same bed, in the same way as She was making love to me.  It's one of the main reasons She's so happy this holiday seasons, but one of the things i continue to struggle with. 
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Sissies and Bows

Just about every piece of lingerie i've ever seen has a certain feminine look about it.  i guess much of that femininity is in the eye of the beholder, influenced by some psycho-sexual drive that's been in them since they were so very young.  However, most panties, bras, stockings, teddies can always enhance their "femme appeal" with a little lace here and there, a row or two of ruffles or in the case of this sissy, a properly positioned bow.

Bows, especially on a pair of panties really make me swoon.  i thought about that last night after getting a red matching bra and panty set from Diane for Christmas that had two pretty little bows on the panty front and a similar one on the bra right between the two cups.  So very ladylike.

So this morning, i put together a little collection of panties with bows.  All of these would look perfect in my panty drawer.  They'd feel even better on my bottom!

Bows just make me feel special i guess, like i'm all wrapped up...just like a gift for someone :)
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A Merry & Sissy Christmas

Wishing all of you a very Merry Christmas!!!!
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Housewives at Christmas

We're headed to a neighbor's house tonight for a very informal holiday gathering.  One of the hosts (the husband) is a pretty talented piano player and there's always plenty of caroling.  Although, after a few cocktails i don't think anyone cares how good (or bad) they sound. 

Every year Diane brings boxes of home baked cookies for everyone.  They're always a hit (or so people say after they bring them home to share with their families or eat them all themselves.  We're still bringing the cookies this year except that this time,  i did the baking.  Under Diane's sometimes watchful eye and in my apron, i baked dozens and dozens of Her signature holiday cookies.

She did leave me unattended while She took a call from Brian around mid-afternoon.  i cringed a little when i heard Her tell Brian "Oh, she's baking cookies" then chuckle a bit.  i assumed he must have asked Her what i was up to.  The subject quickly changed to when they might get together again considering holiday schedules are difficult and he's going away for several days.

The exchange left me a little anxious again.  It was more evidence about just how much Diane has shared with Brian about my submission to Her and the role i play in our relationship.

i suppose the role wouldn't be that unusual for a dutiful housewife around the holidays.  Other than the embarrassment i experience at times, it doesn't feel unusual for me at all.
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A Happy Sissy

At last night's party (where everyone seem to have a very good time) whenever Diane introduced me to guests i hadn't met before or hadn't seen in a long time, She never failed to point out that i was the one who "did all the work for the party, including cleaning the house and doing all the decorating.  i didn't have to lift a finger."  Sometimes She would add how nice it was to have a stay-at-home husband to do all these things.

As the evening went on, i realized how happy She was and when it came to the party preparations i had done, She seemed very proud of me.  It was more than Her just enjoying Her dominant role in our relationship and taking advantage of my submission.  Instead, i really felt Her happiness with me, with who i was and what i can provide for Her.

The house did look beautiful and i worked very hard to make sure everything was just so.  We received so many compliments.  Even though we did have a caterer prepare much of the food, there were some things i prepared myself and enjoyed the compliments that came my way.

When everyone had gone home i was ready to start cleaning up but instead Diane told me to let it wait until this morning.  "You did a wonderful job!" She told me and gave me a lovely kiss.  We went upstairs and She asked me if i was too tired to worship Her.  It's usually not asked of me, rather i just do what i'm told.  "i'm never too tired for You" i told Her.  She had a wonderful orgasm and promised me i'd have my turn sometime today.

As i look back it was a very satisfying evening for me.  i made Diane happy and enjoyed myself in the process.  i'm still anxious about the New Year and how things are going to go with Brian, but things like this help make it a little bit easier.
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A Housewife's Holiday Duties

Holidays can be fun but it seems like every year we find ourselves rushing around at the last minute, despite our earlier promises to avoid all the commercialism and craziness. 

This year, it's been my job to coordinate everything to do with the holidays.  This includes most all of the shopping for gifts, responding to party invitations, decorating the house and getting ready for the party we are hosting here at our home tonight.  "It's what stay at home housewives do" Diane insists.

The fact that She's entrusted me with all this work makes me feel very special in some ways.  It's quite a bit of work and She's checked in with me regularly on my progress.  I've only had to return and exchange a few of the gifts I bought and so far, Diane's been quite pleased with what i've accomplished. 

Tonight's the big event though.  We'll have about 50 people attending the party.  Some of our friends and some of Diane's co-workers.  One of the guests will be Her friend Linda.  Linda knows about Diane and Brian and just recently, Diane's shared more information about our lifestyle with Her.  Diane said Linda suspected all along that i was submissive and i think She's right.  It's still difficult for that "secret" to be out. 

i'm happy to be blogging again but finding it a little more difficult to share all the emotions i feel and the anxiety over what's around the corner with Brian.  Fantasies are crafted in one's mind over a long period of time and conveniently never deal with realities.  i'll be facing those realities soon and it's difficult.

For now, i'm enjoying being me:  A married sissy, submissive to my Wife and happy.  i hope Her happiness will be enough to keep me happy in the coming months. 
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So Sorry

i want to apologize for being away from blogging for so long.  The "sissy funk" i referred to in my last post continued and with that, Diane's cuckolding of me with Brian intensified. 

In the last month since i've posted, Diane has shared more information about our relationship with Brian.  He now knows that i know about their affair, about my submission to Diane, my feminization, and Her desire to make my cuckolding more open to him. 

His reaction?  Shock at first, followed by plenty of questions, a little confusion and finally an interest to give it a try.

That's where we are now.  Brian comes to our home once per week and i'm not present when he's here.  That's going to change in January.  He's going to see me dressed and make love to Diane while i am at home.

i'm nervous and Diane's excited.  She assures me things will be fine and that deep down, it's what i really want and need.

Thanks to everyone for their comments.  They make me smile.

i'll do my best to post more often.

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