Bows and Sissies

I love bows.  All types and on all things.  There are few things more feminine than a lovely bow put just in the right place.

Just a few examples that really do it for me....

A bow in the hair, especially on a pony tail....

Bows on lingerie....

Bows on the front of a short dress....

....and on the back of a pretty dress....

And, just pretty pink bows!

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A sissy and a Stud

It was a very strange discussion last night with Diane.  All day yesterday my emotions felt like a ping pong ball going back and forth.  When Diane got home, she was as cool, calm and collected as she's ever been.  It was as if the night before hadn't even happened.  Her lovemaking with Brian in our bedroom had taken place less than 24 hours before and her demeanor made it seem like it happened decades ago. 

Of course, that's the way she is; always in control of her emotions and surroundings, at times appearing so cold and aloof.  While the rest of us are emotional wrecks, she remains in command of any situation. 

So when I asked her if she thought Brian knew that I knew about the two of them she could only laugh.  "You men are so much the same.  You may be a sissy and Brian may be a stud, but you are so alike" she told me.

I asked her what she meant by that and she told me that Brian had asked her the same question last night.  He wanted to know if if she thought I had any suspicion about the two of them.  She told him that I was "clueless" about the whole thing and he needn't worry at all.  I didn't like her use of the term "clueless" because of the way it portrayed me in Brian's eyes.  Like an idiot who has absolutely no idea that his wife is fucking another man.

Diane assured me that the only reason she used such a term was an obvious one, to put Brian at ease about the whole thing.  "It was a very selfish reason.  I didn't want any anxiety he had to affect his performance" she told me, "and it didn't."

Diane found it interesting that I would worry about what Brian thinks about me.  She asked me teasingly if I would rather he know all about me.  It was a rhetorical question that I didn't answer. 
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The Cuckold Bed

Keeping yourself busy while your wife is at home having a tryst with her lover is not the easiest thing to do.  I felt awkward 100% of the time. 

Diane met Brian at our home a little later than planned because he had a meeting that lasted longer than he expected.  That led to a phone call from Diane telling me that she would call me when it was "safe" for me to come home.  The call came while I was "enjoying" my second overpriced cup of decaf and reading several newspapers on my laptop and a trendy downtown coffee shop.  I wanted to post something on the blog while there, but the lack of privacy caused me to change my mind.

Diane's call came a few minutes after 9:30.  She and Brian had been together for nearly five hours.  A "wham bang thank you ma'am" it wasn't.

I took my time on the drive home.  I don't think I ever went over the speed limit.  I wanted to go home but was in no hurry to do so, wondering what I would find.  Disappearing from your home so that another man can make love to your wife in "the marital bed" weighs heavily on your mind.  Last night the marital bed become "the cuckold bed."  That's all I could think of.  For all the sexual excitement and eroticism surrounding cuckolding and how it plays on the mind of a submissive male, there's a real life aspect that's not always easy to deal with. 

Diane was waiting in the living room watching some news program when I got home.  She was wearing a black satin bathrobe, one that I had bought her for her birthday a few years ago.  She called it her favorite bathrobe.  I wondered if she had put it on while she was with Brian, or only after he left.

Diane approached me and gave me a kiss.  "Thanks" she said.  "I appreciate you doing what you did."

"No problem" I told her.  Yeah sure...no problem. I use that term all the time and I hate it.  I say it whether there's a problem or not.  Just another example of acquiescing to her.  Seems like everything I did or said yesterday just deepened my cuckolding. 

Earlier in the morning, just before Diane left for her office, she took out a pair of my "sissy panties", ones with rows and rows of lace across the bottom.   "I want you in these today" she said.  After thanking me last night she asked if I was still in my sissy panties.  I told her I was as she rubbed her hands over my ass so she could feel the ruffles on the panties.  "Very nice" she said. 

She suggested we go upstairs to the master bedroom.  The cuckold part of me wanted to see the bed all disheveled and every sign of cuckolding I could think off when I walked in.  The husband part of me wanted Diane to have tidied up the room before I got home and even changed the bed.  The cuckold part of me won out.  There was plenty of evidence of lovemaking everywhere. 

The bed was as unmade as could be.  The pillows were strewn all over the place, with an extra couple laying on the floor.  I wondered what the had used the pillows for?  Diane's work clothes, including her bra and panties lay on a chair in the corner of the room.  I also spotted the panty that went with the babydoll nightie she wore for Brian.  It was sticking out from under one of the pillows near the header of the bed.  An odd location I thought. 

I saw the package of magnum condoms on the nightstand on what was usually her side of the bed.  I wondered how many they had used, where they were, and whether she had put the on Brian's cock.  It was then that I looked over to the other side of the bed, my side, that I saw at least two used condoms loosely wrapped in some tissues.

I took this all in in a matter of seconds, but it seemed like it took an hour.  I know it's silly, but I thought I could almost detect a certain earthy smell of lovemaking in the room. 

Diane's voice got me out of the small trance I was in when she said "I want you to take everything off except your sissy panties and come into bed to lick me."

I stripped down to the panties and felt so much embarrassment when I couldn't hide my erection.  Diane just smiled and didn't say anything.  She took her bathrobe off, revealing the nightie I had bought on our last shopping trip together.  She rearranged the pillows so that she could lay back on them, spread her legs and watched me go down on her.  I licked the pussy where Brian's cock had been just a little while ago.  I was surprised at how wet she was.  There wasn't any trace of semen from what I could tell.  Diane was clearly aroused by this whole thing.  She came within a a few minutes.  Too soon in her opinion.  She made me stay there until she had another orgasm.

I also had an orgasm.  In my sissy panties.  Diane let me mount her and hump her while she wrapped her lovely legs around me.  Guess how long I lasted?  I messed the panties very quickly.

We lay together and it was quiet for a few minutes.  Then Diane said that before Brian left he said he wished he could spend the night.  She told him that "yeah, that would be nice.  Maybe someday."
"You know what though" she said, "I really couldn't wait for you to get home."

She had me clean up the room a bit before we went to bed.  I didn't change the sheets though.  I thought there were a few damp spots. No doubt Diane's wetness from a night of lovemaking. 

This morning I put a fresh set of sheets on the cuckold bed. 
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"I Think You'll Like It"

Last night while I was putting the dinner dishes away Diane got a call from Brian on her cell phone.  They had corresponded earlier in the day and she told him she would be free tonight to talk if he wanted to call.  When her phone rang and she saw it was him, she gave me the signal to be quiet so that he would believe that she was alone at home for awhile.  She's working hard at continuing the ruse that I am totally oblivious to what is going on between them.

She made her way to the other room so that I could continue my household chores while they talked, but I could still make out much of what she was saying.  Naturally, I tried to listen pretty closely as well. 

Tomorrow is the day that Brian comes over to be with Diane.  It will be mid to late afternoon.  Diane's told me to make plans to be away from the house for at least 5 or 6 hours.  She will call me when it's all clear for me to come home. 

One part of their conversation last night stirred more emotions in me.  Even though I could only hear Diane's part of the conversation I knew they had moved on to something more intimate and playful and were discussing Wednesday afternoon.  Diane told Brian there was absolutely nothing to worry about and that I would be out of town and wouldn't be returning until very late in the evening. 

Then I heard her say "I think you'll like it" and following a pause "It's pink and very girly looking.  I'm wearing it just for you."

She was referring to the short nightie she had me pick out on our last shopping trip together.  I wonder what Brian would think if he knew I picked it out and bought it for her?
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Insight into my Feminine Feelings

Somewhat of a short post today.  I have some errands to run in town and a couple routine Dr's appointments.  Since I've been living as Diane's wife I find myself being much more organized when it comes to tasks, appointments, routines, etc.  I've also taken much of the responsibility for things around the household that Diane used to do.  It's worked out really well and she's admitted that I am doing a far better job than she used to. 

If you have a moment I'd urge you to read a comment I left yesterday in response to "HG" a frequent commenter on this blog.  In the past, HG certainly has stirred up a little controversy with his comments.  However, I do believe those of us who were upset with his comments were misjudging his intentions.   The comment HG left to yesterday's post,The Verbal Aspect of Sex, is worth reading.

I don't really write often about the inner struggles I've had with my increasing desire to be feminine since an early age and how that evolved into the relationship I have with Diane.  It hasn't always been easy but we've worked it out because of the love we have for each other.  The comment I left in response to HG provides you with some insight into my feelings. 

Have to get going.  It's a busy day.  I still have to go to the gym to work on firming up my girlish bottom :)  There's also a Zumba class that takes place at the gym every Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings.  I've peeked in and it's nearly always made up entirely of women.  Once and a great while there's a guy there with his wife, but for the most part, it's all women.  It looks like it's a pretty good workout and some of the women are quite attractive.  I think I'm going to give it a try one day this week and see how it goes. 

Of course, I'd love feeling like "one of the girls!"
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The Verbal Aspect of Sex

Some of the most fulfilling sex I've ever enjoyed has been when my wife Diane has been very verbal.  A quiet sexual encounter can never be as exciting.  Her words, often teases and taunts, along with her moans arouse me to no end.  They are often the catalyst for what puts me over the top.  Combined with her touch, movements and other actions, it's always such a wonderful experience for me.

I've experienced much the same with the very few men I have been with.  In the role as their feminized submissive, the best are quick to verbalize their dominant fantasies, calling me names and bellowing orders with an aggressive and demanding tone.  As I suck, lick or do whatever else I am told, their commands are like music to my ears and always bring me to the brink of orgasm, often without any physical stimulation whatsoever.

I remember the last time I was with Ken before he moved away.  I was dressed in a little girls outfit complete with a petticoat, ruffled panties, lacy anklet socks and a pair of mary jane shoes.  He had me lower my panties before getting down on my knees so that he could fondle my "clit" as he called it.  He forbade me from touching myself while I sucked him, cuffing my hands together behind my back.

I obeyed every order he have me, kissing the tip of his cock, licking the shaft, lapping at his big balls and presenting my face so that he cold slap me with his cock whenever he felt like it.  The orders, humiliating questions he was asking me as I did what I was told and the name calling were bringing me to the brink of orgasm.  He knew it and teased me about it:

"You're such a sissy faggot" he said.  "I can make you cum anytime I want.  Cum for me right now."

The teasing is all it took.  His words made me start spewing my cum on the floor as I knelt in front of him.  The orgasm lasted longer than usual.  The lack of physical touching on my penis seemed to lengthen the experience.  It was indeed beautiful.

I continued to suck him and he finally exploded all over my face and in my mouth.  He fed the cum that was on my face with his fingers and made me lick my own juices that had spilled to the floor.  Now you can probably understand why I miss him so much.

These and other experiences make me wonder if Dominants and submissives enjoy the verbal aspects of sex more than people who might be more vanilla inclined.  Diane enjoys being dominant over me and is usually pretty verbal when we make love.  There was never a scene with Ken where he didn't seem to enjoy verbally humiliating me.  It Dominants get as much satisfaction out of the verbal part of sex as I do, then I know they're having a very, very satisfying time!

I also can't help but wonder how verbal my wife Diane is with Brian, as vanilla as that relationship might be.
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I've owned several corsets.  They're an interesting piece of clothing; filled with sensuality and eroticism.  For a time, Diane even enjoyed wearing one to accentuate her already beautiful figure.  She doesn't do so any more, but enjoys lacing me sometimes.

When I first started wearing a corset, she would lace me up for a few hours each day until I became accustomed to it.  I also lost a few pounds and the corseting got my waist to an unbelievably small number!  I have a 31 inch waist and at times, Diane has reduced it to 22 inches with some very, very tight lacing.  That may seem extreme, but for those who have worn corsets before, you know that it isn't impossible. 

Diane decided to lace me today.  I'm wearing a rather plain underbust corset and my waist is "only" reduced to about 24 or 25 inches.  Better than the 22" so I can do housework more easily.  On average I wear a corset 20 to 30 hours per week.  Looks like today is going to be an all day thing!

The restrictive feeling of the corset provides me with a simultaneous feeling of submissiveness and femininity.  It's a special feeling for someone like me.
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A Cuckold's Emotions

I couldn't wait for Diane to get home last night.  I could tell from her voice earlier that she was in a very playful and loving mood when she told me to look sexy for her when she got home.  As much as I went back and forth on what to wear for her, I realize that she would have loved anything I had chosen.

The short nightie I chose, sort of a babydoll style with matching panties was accompanied by some white thigh high stockings with bows on them.  The nightie was a pastel yellow and the thigh highs were white.  I put a white pearl necklace on as well and some white heels.

When Diane walked through the door, she raised her eyebrows, smiled and let out a sexy cat whistle!  "Don't we look pretty tonight" she said.  She put her things down and took me in her arms as we kissed softly.   The kiss was one that revealed her intentions:  she wanted to make love to me, and she wanted me to please her.

She chose to make love to me first, and it was as emotionally satisfying an experience as I've had in many months.  She knows what I enjoy, and I was soon on my back at the edge of the bed with my nighty pulled up to reveal my smooth chest, while Diane slid her strap-on into me like an expert.  She touched my cock softly as I got more excited and milked me to a beautiful orgasm.  I licked my juices from her fingers as she fed me. 

Diane allowed me to relax for a few minutes as she lay on top of me, her smooth breasts against my own.  We kissed passionately, and soon I was pleasing her like I always do.  Her orgasm was a powerful one.  She moaned more than usual and squeezed my head so hard I thought I might pass out.  Lovingly, she thanked me for being so attentive to her.  The evening seemed absolutely perfect.

After changing so that I could prepare some dinner for her, I poured her a glass of white wine and she relaxed in the den while I went about my chores.  I could hear her on the phone a couple of times on different calls.   Her phone rang once and I realized she was talking to Brian.  She talked with him for about 15 minutes and as she headed into the kitchen I heard her say it was time for dinner and she was looking forward to next week.

We made some small talk at dinner and she once again told me how pretty I looked when she got home and how enjoyable the evening was.  I asked her when she was seeing Brian again and she told me that plan was for them to get together next Wednesday, probably around mid afternoon.  What she said next wasn't necessarily a surprise, but just the same it set my emotions on a roller coaster ride once again.

"I'd like to meet him here.  The hotel thing is pretty risky for both of us.  Too many people around her know the both of us and we don't want to risk it."

I hesitated and said "Okay."

"You'd have to disappear for three or four hours that afternoon.  I told him Wednesday would work because you're usually out on Wednesdays playing golf and not back until dinner time.  I used that to convince him it was safe to be here.  It would be even better if I told him you were out of town."

So many thoughts plowed through my brain at one time.  Many of them questions to myself.  I wondered if Diane, when she had an affair many years ago, had brought a man home to sleep in our bed?  As an "open cuckold" now, does another man sleeping in the marital bed make it more official?  Why was I aroused yet feeling down at the same time?

"Just say I'm out of town.  I'll find something to do" I said. 

She came over, kissed me and gave me a loving hug.   "I still love you and always will you know."

"I know you do" I told her.

The humiliation that comes with letting another man make love to my wife in our bed is going to be with me before it even happens. 
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Feeling Femme and Pretty

Diane's been working quite a few hours each day this week and it's made my days longer while waiting for her to get home.  I've spent a little more time at the gym each day and caught up with all the housework.  Our house is neat as a pin and I take plenty of pride in it.  Rarely do I disappoint Diane in that category. 

I have to tell you a funny little story about something that happened at the gym today.  Diane and I both belong to one of these 24-hour gyms that are accessible around the clock to members only with a keyfob.  It's only staffed certain hours of the day with trainers or managers so that prospective members can come in for information and to get a quick tour of the place.

As I was working out this morning, one of the trainer managers was giving some guy a tour and explaining each piece of equipment, how to use it and what it's intended to do.  He came to one piece that is supposed to work on your hamstrings and firm up your gluteous maximums (your buttocks). 

He kind of went over it real quickly saying to the gentleman "This machine helps firm up your butt.  It's used mostly by women, but once and awhile you see a man on it." He then moved over to the next machine.  That one little moment made me feel more feminine.  I use the machine ever day!

On another note, today's little dilemma for me is a nice one.  Diane called and said she'd had enough with work this week and was leaving work by 4:30 PM come hell or high water.  She also told me to be wearing something sexy to greet her when she arrived. 

I just have to decide if I want to get totally spiffed up in a sexy looking dress, jewelry, etc. or cut right to the chase and greet her in sexy nightgown or lingerie only.  Since short nighties like babydolls are my favorite, I think I'm going to opt for the latter and hope for the best!
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Babydolls & Coffee

I love lounging around in the morning in either a silky bathrobe or better yet, in just my nightie while enjoying a cup or two of coffee.  When Diane is off to the office early, I sometimes just take it easy for a few hours before I start my wifely duties.  I just wish I could find a pair of babydolls exactly like these!

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A Cuckold Shopping Trip

When we returned from shopping late yesterday afternoon I went about preparing dinner for Diane and I, thinking about what had transpired just hours before.  The shopping trip was different than any other I had ever been on with my wife.  To get straight to the point, Diane made me pick out something for her to wear the next time she sees Brian.  It was more than a request and took me totally by surprise.

Diane is a very clever woman who is a master planner when it comes to getting things done, coordinating projects and controlling situations.  The first few stores we stopped in yesterday and the errands we did set the tone for a relaxing afternoon where we were having fun and the conversation was flowing rather freely.  She seemed very content and I was happy.

She said she wanted to buy me something different.  I've gone out dressed as a woman several times with Diane but only when we've been away on a vacation or traveling away from home.  We haven't done it in nearly a year and Diane thought we should plan a few days away in late spring and go somewhere where I could go out dressed.  She wanted to buy me something for the trip.  The whole idea got me really excited and in an even better mood.  Together we chose a lovely white silk long sleeved blouse and a pair of tight fitting black slacks.  She even promised to buy me a new pair of heels to match.  The thought of planning the upcoming trip, the new clothes and how I would be trying them on when I got home had me on cloud nine.

Then came the surprise.

"I want you to do something for me" she said.

"You know I'll do anything for you" I said, still so happy as I carried the bag with my new clothing.

"I want to wear something new and special the next time I'm with Brian.  He gave me a general idea of what he'd like to see me in, and after I share that with you, I want you to pick out something pretty for me to wear."

As we walked through the mall I felt my heart beat somewhat irregularly for a moment or two.  It was one of Diane's perfectly choreographed moments of ultimate control.  She had set this up just right and here I was, in the middle of the mall just a short distance from the Victoria's Secret store, not the best location to discuss the matter.

"He liked the black lingerie I was wearing the other day but he confessed that he loves the very feminine type lingerie.  Almost like a little girl look.  Maybe something pink, short, ruffly and lacy.  You know what I mean."

I knew exactly what she meant.  It was a style of lingerie and nightgowns I myself loved so much.

"Will you do that for me sweetie?" she asked so coyly.

"I will" I said before my mind could process the significance of what was about to take place.

Nothing was said until we reached the store where she told me to go find something while she browsed.  She wanted to pick up some lotions there as well.  "If you find something, bring it to me and I'll let you know what I think."

I tried to look inconspicuous as I looked for something that I thought might fit the description she gave me.  I felt as if all eyes were on me.  I was approached twice by sales clerks asking if they could help.  I wanted Diane to eventually come to see me and ask me how I was doing, but I also knew that wasn't going to happen.  She was going to wait until I selected something and brought it over to her for approval.  I also wondered how many times she'd make me run through the exercise.  I decided it was best to just get on with it.

Much to my surprise, the first thing I chose met with her approval.  "I think Brian's going to love that!" she exclaimed a little louder than I would have liked.  I know I liked it.  It was a pink babydoll that had an open front with a pretty satin bow and padded push ups that made it very young looking.  It would more than accentuate Diane's nice breasts.   The shoulder straps were adjustable and it came with a matching bikini.  "I think it's beautiful" she said again, obviously pleased with my choice.

The search for her special outfit completed, I paid for the purchase while she continued to browse.  When I was done, she told me to wait outside the store for her while she picked up the lotions she was looking for and a couple of bras she had selected that were on sale.  Our shopping and errands complete, we made our way to the car with our bags.

On the way home Diane thanked me for what I had done.  She took my hand and put in between her thighs.  They felt so warm.  As soon as we got home, we went upstairs where I got between her legs and licked her to a very quick orgasm.  I was surprised at how wet she was when I started.  I guess the shopping trip had aroused her quite a bit.
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Rainy Sunday = Shopping

It's a rainy Sunday here so Diane is in one of her shopping moods.  No March Madness for me until later this afternoon.  I've learned to be agreeable and the afternoon should be worthwhile.  She's promised that we'll do a little shopping for me as well.  There was a little wink of the eye when she said it.

Diane used to tease me about how nice it was to be married to a crossdresser because she had access to more clothes.  Even though she's several inches shorter than I am, there are some things which we can definitely share because I'm pretty slim and work hard to stay in good shape, weighing myself every day to make sure I'm not slipping up.  

One item that we definitely can't share and I wish we could is shoes.  I swear Diane has more shoes than any woman I know.  Even her friends tease her about the number of pairs of shoes she has.  My size 9 1/2 feet certainly don't fit in anything she owns.  Shoes are definitely the most difficult thing for a TV to shop for.  If anyone has any tips, ideas or suggestions do let me know.

My "period" is almost over and maybe we can buy something for me to wear the next time she makes love to me.  Some "fuck me" heels would be nice!
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March Madness for Sissies

I played soccer, basketball and baseball in high school and was just an average athlete.  There were no dreams of college level athletics, but it was fun while it lasted.  Like all my other male friends in high school, I had more than a passing interest in the team's cheerleaders.  However, my interests went beyond the regular active hormonal activity that focuses on sex alone.  I also had a high level of interest in their cheerleader uniforms, in particular the panties that went with the outfits.

By the time I was enrolled in our city's largest parochial high school, I think even the Catholic administrators had given up their fight to keep hemlines short and cheerleader uniforms anything but provocative.   The slightest movement by the cheerleaders revealed one beautiful bottom after another encased in panties that matched the uniform.  I got benched more than once for roving eyes during an important time out called by my coach, accused of not paying attention.  I wouldn't say it was always worth it, but at worst it was a fair trade off.

It wasn't until I was a senior in high school that I got my hands on a pair of those special panties.  It was the first time I ever stole anything.  They belonged to a neighbor of mine and I was friends with her brother.  One day, we were in the basement of their home looking some misplaced ski poles we would need for the next day's ski trip.  I spotted the pair of panties in a laundry basket that contained some clean and folded laundry.  I slipped them into the pocket of my jeans at the first possible opportunity.

Even though I suffered guilt feelings about what I had done for a long time, I cherished those panties so much.  The fact that the panties were Claire's was a turn of for me.  Clair was a sophomore and had I not had a regular girlfriend at the time, I certainly would have asked her out.  She was very, very pretty.  Of course, I was also turned on by wearing the panties, fantasizing would it would be like to be one of the cheerleaders.

The March Madness games always provide plenty of excitement for millions of fans.  The cheerleaders (and their uniforms) are fun to look at too!
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My Tumblr Blog

The emotional roller coaster I've felt the past month has surprisingly seemed to lessen some now that Diane and Brian have actually been together.  I've been doing plenty of reading, not just on blogs but on other more authoritative sites that deal with lifestyle BDSM and D/s relationships, and I think that's been helpful.  I've learned that becoming a submissive involves a process and part of the process is acceptance; acceptance of who you are and accepting things that are important to your Dominant.

Diane has also been very helpful.  Since the other night she's shown concern for my feelings but at the same time making it clear that she wants to see Brian again.  This isn't going to be an every day thing with them, but it won't be a once and done fling either.  There aren't any specific plans for them to get together again, but she tells me they will and it's just a matter of logistics.

The relationship they have is in its early stages, but from my observations and what she's told me, it's strictly a sexual relationship.  They both want something highly sexual that doesn't come with too much emotional baggage and attachment.  Diane's pretty straightforward and businesslike in what she wants, and she seems to be no different with this.  I'm pretty sure her discussions with Brian that led up to their first sexual encounter made her feelings pretty clear.

I also wanted to let my readers know that I started a tumblr blog a little while ago.  I'll use it to post and reblog pictures that I find interesting.  I put a link to it right below my list of favorite cuckold blogs and hopefully it will update whenever I put a new photo up.  The blogs name is the same as this one:  "A Married Sissy."

Here's a picture of what I reblogged a little while ago.  I happen to love everything about this picture.  What sissy wouldn't?????

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Waiting Was The Hardest Part

"The waiting is the hardest part
 Every day you see one more card
 You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
 The waiting is the hardest part"
                                                  Tom Petty

Last night as every minute that passed by felt like an hour, I waited to hear from Diane.  The last time I had heard from her before she met Brian was just after 5:30 PM when she arrived at the hotel.  She was non-committal as to what time she would be home, only to say that there was no way she would be spending the night.  Her "excuse" to be away for the evening was a going away dinner for a colleague who was moving to take another job.

As the time passed by ever so slowly, it was only "normal" to think that the later it became, the more Diane was enjoying herself. The things I thought about are too numerous to list.  I kept wondering how long a tryst like this should take?  How long do two married people who have never had sex with one another stay in bed together the first time they get together?  Do any early awkward moments make the night last longer?  Is there plenty of foreplay?  Or does the passion involved mean they just rip each others' clothes off and jump into bed?

I honestly thought I would get a call around 8 PM.  I came up with that estimate after walking through various scenarios in my mind over and over.  Yesterday afternoon, I would have thought that as the night wore on and I hadn't heard from Diane I would become more nervous.  Instead, as 8 PM came and went, I began to feel more like a cuckold.  The waiting was difficult but yet, the longer I waited to hear from her, the feeling that comes with being a cuckold and knowing what was likely happening at that very moment became more and more intense.

Diane called at 9:32 PM.  I remember the exact time because as soon as the phone rang I looked at the clock on our DVD player.  "I'm still at the restaurant and will be leaving in about 10 minutes" she said, "I didn't want you to worry."  From her conversation, I knew she was still with Brian and thought I could hear just a little bit of background noise.  Knowing that he was so close to her while she spoke with me got me hard.

She called about 15 minutes later while she was on her way home.  She told me she had called me earlier so that I wouldn't worry unnecessarily.  Then she said "I thought you'd like the fact that I called you while still in Brian's room."  I hesitated to say anything.  I wanted to tell her I did, but felt embarrassed.  She broke the silence by asking me "Well, did you?"  I told her I did.  "I knew you would" she said.

Diane got home about a half hour later.  The first thing she did was to kiss me and say "Thank you.  I had a great time."

We talked for a little while about the evening.  Brian was a bit nervous at the beginning she said, and so was she.  They made love twice, with a break in between where they ordered something light from the room service menu.  I thought sitting down like that and hearing her tell me about it would be more difficult than what it was.  Diane said she doesn't want to hide anything from me.  The discussion went well.

Finally she said it was time to go upstairs, "I want to make your cuckolding complete."

I knew what she meant.  When we were in bed, I got between her legs and licked her where just an hour or so before, another man's cock had been.  There were no creampies left for me like many other cuckolds get to enjoy, but her pussy definitely felt and tasted different.  Perhaps someday there will be one for me to taste. 
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A Cuckold's Big Day

Today's the day.  Diane told me last night that Brian will be in town today and tomorrow.  She's going to be meeting him in his hotel room this afternoon after work.  I asked her if this just came up yesterday or if she'd know for awhile.  She knew since the middle of last week but didn't want to tell me until last night.  She thought I'd worry too much about it unnecessarily.  She's right, I would have.

I've spoken with Diane four times today.  She's called me to reassure me that she still loves me and I've called her to do the same.  That's helped.  It's an emotional day for me.  Yesterday began "my time of the month"  so today, I'm not only wearing a maxi pad but the tampon Diane inserted this morning.  I'm to replace it as needed throughout the day.  I've spent the day doing housework (there was plenty of ironing to do today) and running other errands.  Now it's just a matter of waiting for her to come home later tonight.

This morning Diane took longer than usual to get ready.  She looked sexier than I've ever remembered.  Of course she's probably looked just as good or even better before but with the circumstances of this day make her sexiness more pronounced.  I'm sure she'll raise eyebrows at work. She's wearing a black lace bra, matching panties, garter and thigh highs.  The black bra is very noticeable under her white blouse, but is covered quite nicely by the black jacket she's wearing.  Her black skirt is just tight enough to accentuate her shapely ass and thighs.  A tad more makeup than usual, a hint of perfume and a pearl necklace and earrings made her look irresistible.

When she was getting ready to leave, she had me retrieve the Magnum condoms I bought for her to use a couple of weeks ago and put them in her purse.   After I put them in the purse, I wondered how many she would use tonight.  I was daydreaming when Diane came over and gave me a big hug and kiss.  She promised to call me today and also tonight when she was on her way home.

Brian is going to be one lucky guy.   All that's left for me now is to wait.
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A Sissy's Hormones

My wife Diane's involvement in my feminization has always varied over the years.  There were times when it seemed constant, for days or weeks at a time.  At other times, it was as if she could care less about it.  I'm not saying that in a bad way at all.  I'm very understanding of the fact that it shouldn't be a high maintenance thing for her.  There are times when she definitely enjoys it more than others.

I can usually tell when her moods are changing.  She'll make a few comments about what I'm wearing, how I'm acting, my looks and generally just act different.  The little subtle comments she makes in public sometimes in front of friends are those that have the most profound effect on me.  We both know exactly what she means, but our friends don't get the true meaning of her comments.

Last night we got into a very tiny spat over something quite insignificant - coffee filters.  I'll leave the subject at that so as not to bore you with what are ridiculous details.  The discussion we were having didn't make any sense at all and at one point Diane said "I can tell you're getting ready to start your period this week just by the way you've been acting!"  It was a not-so-subtle reminder about my feminine role in this household as well as a warning that come Tuesday, I better be wearing some feminine protection.

The comment stopped the argument dead in its tracks.  She walked towards me, hugged me and gave me a big wet kiss.  Without another word, I finished making the coffee for Sunday morning and met her in our bedroom where she proceeded to make love to me.

When we were done Diane told me how much she loves it when my sissy hormone's kick into high gear just before my period.  I guess she's back in one of those moods!
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OMG!!! What a sissy!

I think most crossdressers pay more attention to the latest fashion news than most people.  I know I do.  A topic that's always at the forefront of fashion is what celebrities are wearing, especially gossip about those who commit fashion gaffe's.  One of today's items on omg! on Yahoo, shows "Sex in the City" star Sarah Jessica Parker in a sheer Louis Vuitton white outfit revealing her black bra under the outfit's top.  How outrageous!  Check it, and other celebs pictures here.

Submissive males often have fantasies of being forced to dress in outrageous outfits and being exposed publicly by their Dominants.  Other times, the humiliation is a bit more subtle.  It could include just being made to wear ladies shorts or other items of clothing.  Also, there's some erotic humiliation attached to having some dark lingerie seen through sheer white ladies slacks or a similar top like the outfit poor Sarah is sporting in this picture.

I would never want to be caught dead looking like she does in this photo.  Personally, my preference would be a pink or other pastel colored bra.  Black is just not my color. 

Would be interesting to hear the whispers...."OMG!  What a sissy!"
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Cheating Wives - Fulfilling Needs

Two of my favorite cuckolding blogs had two of their all time greatest posts these past couple of days.   I can't definitively say they are their all time bests because I haven't had a chance to read every single one of their postings, but I promise I will.  So, when two of my best blogs have two of their best ever postings (in my opinion) you can just imagine how much excitement there's been in my panties the past couple of days!

Yesterday over at Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse, her cuckold husband scott wrote the following in a post called "Prisoners of Fantasy":

"The wives of submissive cuckolds, in fulfilling their foolish husbands’ deepest desires, become the women that their husbands need them to be. There may be women who have a natural inclination to cheat, who don’t need prodding to venture out but, even in those cases, open cuckolding is a somewhat different beast and, once the couple get a taste for it, there usually isn’t any going back."
You obviously have to read the entire post to get the context, but the statement is imbedded in my mind since I read it.   I keep thinking about it, especially since I used the term "open cuckolding" for yesterday's title to my posting.  I'm wondering what lies ahead for us, once we experience it?  Will there be any going back?

The other posting which excited me to no end was Suzanne's midweek "escape" from family visitors to have some very hot sex with her lover and cuckold husband at the blog All Mine.  The blog seems to have evolved into more of a poly type situation that straightforward cuckolding, but the scene she describes had me all hot and bothered.  All I can think of is being in her husband's position, giving myself up to both her and her lover.  I can't imagine our relationship ever going far enough that something like that would happen.  That doesn't mean I can't dream about it!
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Open Cuckolding

Last night Diane used the term "open cuckolding" when referring to the difference between her first affair (which she had without my knowledge), and her upcoming tryst with Brian which I will be fully aware of.  She referred to the latter as "open cuckolding" because of her openness to me about almost everything that has been or will be going on.  She agreed that the term isn't necessarily the best description, but it just slipped out. 

She talked about how this time, things would be so much easier on her.  There wouldn't be the stress that comes with having to lie about who she's with, what she was doing or where she was going.  These and many other things make affairs so difficult to hide and usually are responsible for them ending up in disaster. 

She also brought up something that we had never talked about before.  It was something I sometimes wondered about but never brought up, probably out of fear of finding out the truth.  Who else knew?   I found out last night that the last time she had an affair, both her best friend Linda and sister Darlene knew about it.  I knew she was pretty close to both, but even so, last night's news was still difficult to hear.  She admitted that as wrong as it was, she used them as "excuses" to explain where she was or what she was doing at specific times or days while she was with "James."  She wasn't proud of it, and even said she was sorry for doing something like that.

Her point was that things are and will be so much different this time.  At least in her case, there won't be any need to lie to me about what she's doing with Brian.  I'll know everything she said "and even enjoy it like a good sissy cuckold." 

I couldn't help but ask if she was going to share any of this with her friend Linda or sister Darlene because she is still very, very close to both.   Her answer:  "Not unless you want me to!"

She laughed after she said it, and knew the effect it had on me.  I was already getting a little tingle in my panties.
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I think there's a little exhibitionist in every crossdresser.  Wanting to be seen as pretty, feminine, etc., or just plain wanting to be seen!  Part of it might be the submissive aspect that often goes along with the crossdressing and the humiliation that turns many of us on.

Maybe that's why I, and many other cd's just love babydoll pajamas, especially those from the 1950's and 1960's.  Babydolls, with their short hems, lace, ruffles and pastel colors always seem to bring out the most feminine of looks and feelings.

Babydoll pajamas need not be elaborately feminine to be sexy either.  Sure, the lace and ruffles are nice, but something as simple as the photo shown here can even be sexier in my opinion.  Getting ready for bed (and hopefully some fun) would entail more than just slipping into my favorite babydoll.  I'd want to make sure I looked just right for my lover; combing my hair and maybe even adding some pretty earrings like the lovely lady shown here.  I'd want to look irresistible!

This photo was taken from Etsy, a site I wrote about a few days ago where you can find plenty of vintage lingerie!
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Plenty of Pettis

There's nothing new on the cuckolding front.  I asked Diane about it last night and she told me that she's continuing to talk to Brian nearly every day, but the logistics of getting together for an afternoon or evening is difficult right now.  Once again, she told me not to worry my pretty little head about it.  "It'll happen when it happens" she said, leaving little doubt that it would indeed take place.

I recently added a link in my "Of Interest to Sissies" section to Petticoat Pond, a wonderful website devoted to Petticoats and Crinolines and their enthusiasts.  The site is amazing in that it provides almost daily updates with pictures and links to other pages that feature beautiful petticoats and other related items.

The petti as it's referred to has always been a symbol of femininity.  Today, it's kind of fallen out of fashion with the exception of some dance wear and probably fun or kinky type clothing.  As a lover of pettis and the 1950's housewife lifestyle, I sometimes wish it would make a comeback, although if it did, seeing all these women walking around in beautiful pettis would keep me in a constant state of arousal!

I only own a couple of petticoats and wish I would own a few more.  Of course, that would entail purchasing some vintage dresses to go along with them.  Just thinking of it makes me swoon....dreaming of walking around the house in a pretty dress, petticoat and pearls.  I bet when Diane got home she couldn't wait to lift that petti and have her way with me!

 A girl can dream right?
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Sissy Shopping Made Ea(t)sy

If you're a male into crossdressing or just enjoy the feel of women's lingerie and other ultra feminine articles of clothing, you have to admit that we're living in a pretty good time when it comes to the availability of these items through pretty discreet channels. 

Shopping on the internet makes it possible for someone to avoid the potential embarrassment (although sometimes that's part of the "fun") that comes with real life shopping trips.  Instead, an internet connection, credit card and a few clicks of the mouse and you've got a pretty pair of ruffled panties on their way to you and on your doorstep in a matter of days.

One of my favorite sites to browse and look for unique feminine items is Etsy.  You've probably heard about it but if you haven't checked it out just go to Etsy.com and type in your favorite sissy search term and wait for the tantalizing results.  Here's an example of what the search for "ruffled panties" turned up.  I'm sure there's something that would be a nice addition to every sissy's wardrobe.

And oh yes, there are plenty of lovely aprons as well! 
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Sissy Sundays

The last 10 years has really seen a transformation in my behavior, and it's been more pronounced recently.  I suppose that's what happens when you live full time as your wife's "wife."  It's almost a 24/7 thing and every day brings out my femininity, but I think Sundays seem to be the best example.

For starters, weekends are always big sports days.  There seem to be dozens of professional and college sporting events on television, some of them real "big games" in their respective sports.  I used to be what many would call a sports junkie.  I followed our professional and college teams with a religious zeal and would often change my schedule to watch certain games.  Now, the only time I watch them is if Diane wants to see the game or golf match as well.  She decides.  Otherwise, I keep myself busy doing more ladylike things.

Another thing that's changed so much is my shopping habits.  In the times we live in, Sundays are the biggest shopping day of the week.  Many people don't remember the days of "blue laws" and when just about everything was closed on Sundays.  Instead of sitting home in front of the boob tube on Sundays now, I'm often gone shopping with Diane, checking out the latest deals for clothes or items for the home.  I enjoy the fact that she routinely asks me my opinion on clothes she's interested in buying and often suggests things I would look nice in.

Finally, when at home on Sundays, you can usually find me in a dress as opposed to something more casual.  It reminds me of the days when "Sunday best" was something special - just like a 1950's housewife.  I also enjoy getting dressed for a somewhat formal Sunday dinner; something I've prepared while wearing one of my favorite aprons.  While I'm doing that, Diane may be the one enjoying the game on television!
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My Boyfriend

A few posts ago I wrote briefly about a comment Diane made to me about missing Ken, a man I played with sexually for more than two years.  Ken was a retired physician whose wife was still working a few days a week teaching at a university about an hour away.  That gave us an opportunity to play at his place fairly often, and I would do my best to see him at least a couple of times per month.  The frequency worked out pretty well, helping to fulfill our bisexual cravings. 

In many ways my relationship with Ken was almost the perfect situation.  He was very clean, discreet, dominant, kinky and really in tune with my own needs and feelings.  In addition, Diane knew about my thing with Ken and was ok with it.  Diane would often tease me about it and refer to Ken as "my boyfriend."  Secretly, I enjoyed it when she's use that term.  Unlike what's going on with Diane and Brian now, Ken also knew that Diane knew about us.  We never got together as a threesome or anything like that, but they did meet a few times when he and I got together to play golf.  All in all, things worked out very well.

Last year, Ken's wife stopped teaching at the university here and retired.  They had bought a home in Florida and once their place here sold in September, moved away.   Their plan is to stay there full time for the next couple of years and in a couple of years, decide whether or not they want to split their time between here and there.  I hope that's the decision the reach.  I miss him very much.

We still stay in touch and talk often.  Without fail, I get aroused each and every time we talk on the phone.  Ken's dominance over me was far different then Diane's.   In addition to the more psychological aspect of dominance, Ken really enjoyed the physical part of it as well.  As we grew more comfortable with each other, there was more bondage, discipline and other physical acts that crept into our play.  Ken knew how to make me feel like a woman.  He also knew how to turn me into a complete sissy.  And he loved every minute of it.

I still have strong bisexual cravings but haven't played with anyone since Ken left.  Part of the "problem" is that I'm very careful.  Also, I seem to compare every man I've met online who expresses an interest in me with Ken.  It's really not a fair thing to do but I can't help it. 

Ken's supposed to be here for a few weeks this summer and we're planning on getting together then.  We talked briefly yesterday and like every other time we've chatted he told me that he "Can't wait to be with his sissy girl again."  I can't either.  I'll be counting the days. 
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Another Cuckold Errand

Yesterday's errands led to a rather interesting discussion with Diane last night.  She didn't call me back until she was in her car and on her way home from the office, even though I had left her a message to call me earlier in the morning.  Her delay just seemed to be another way to tease me.  Of course lately, I'm viewing just about everything she does in that way.

"I didn't get a chance to call earlier, it's been a hell of a day.  What's up?" she asked.

What's up????  It wasn't that I expected a flowery greeting or anything, but I would have thought that she had a general idea about why I was calling.  It was as if her shopping list that included condoms for her to use with Brian was no big deal.  Again, her brief greeting seemed like it was intended to make me broach the subject first.  It worked.

"Not much, I did get a lot done today" I told her.  "I called earlier to ask you about the list of things you left me.  I was just a little surprised."

She laughed a little and said "Oh that,  I hope you didn't expect me to have unprotected sex did  you?"

"Of course not" I answered, and before I could continue, she told me she had another call coming in and would either call me back or see me when she got home.  She didn't call back and was still on her phone when she walked into the house from the garage but quickly said good bye to whoever she was talking to. 

"So, let's talk about your little shopping trip today" she said as she made her way to kiss me.  She told me to pour each of us a glass of wine and and we sat down in the living room to talk.   "I want to see the condoms you bought" she said, so I went to our room to get the package I had bought earlier.   The ones I bought were Trojans and were called "Her Pleasure Ecstasy."  She looked the package over, put them down, smiled and gave me a big hug.

"You're always so thoughtful and willing to please me.  Even in the brand you selected!" she said, "Just like a wife who wants to please her man, getting him something she thinks he'll like.  Putting him first.  You always put my pleasure first, and I love that."  She was right, and I love doing things for her.  She does know how to make me feel appreciated.  But the discussion took an interesting turn from there.

"I'm not sure these condoms are exactly what I want though.  Brian might appreciate something more manly.  Just like you want to please me, I want to do little things that will please him.  In other words, put yourself in my place.  You'd probably choose another style wouldn't you?" she asked me.  I wasn't totally convinced, but agreed just the same.

Obviously, I've paraphrased our discussion and quoted it as best as I could remember.  The gist of the conversation, which essentially began with the condoms I had purchased, was about me changing my frame of mind when thinking about her and Brian.  In essence, when doing things to please her, I should be focused on how Brian wants to be pleased. 

When Diane and Brian finally hook up, and all indications are that it is going to be very soon, he'll be doing it under the assumption that I don't know anything about it.  Little will he know that because of Diane's cleverness, I'm going to be totally cuckolded and trying to please him through her. 

After dinner, Diane spent some time on her laptop while I cleaned up.  She was on the computer for awhile, checking her facebook, personal emails and a few other things.   No doubt she did some research on Trojan condoms.  I'm on my way to the pharmacy this afternoon to buy some Trojan Magnums. 
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A Cuckold Errand

I usually do some errands on Thursdays or Fridays in preparation for the weekend.  Diane wants to enjoy her weekends as much as possible and it also feels pretty nice that she also wants to spend them with me.  Rather than run around doing errands on the weekends, she wants me to take care of those things on either Thursdays or Friday.

Last night after dinner I was cleaning up and doing some dishes in my apron while she was on the phone with her friend Linda discussing some work-related issue.  Linda must have had to take another call and while Diane was waiting she asked me when I was planning to do my errands this week.  I told her I would probably go this afternoon since I was going to the gym in the morning.  "That's fine.  I'll leave you a list of some things I need" she said.  That wasn't unusual since she always leaves me a short list of things she might need or want.  These can range from a grocery item to more womanly things like a high end cosmetic item.  I've gotten very accustomed to buying these things for her at the Macy's cosmetic counters!

Just as I got ready to leave for the gym this morning I happened to glance at the list of about eight things Diane had jotted down.  One word jumped right out at me and stopped me dead in my tracks:  "CONDOMS :)"  I don't know how I had missed it before.  I had walked by the not which was sitting on the counter near the kitchen wall phone where we always keep such things.  In addition, it was the only item in all CAPS, and with that little smile after it.

Talk about a strange feeling.  The realization that my cuckolding might be just around the corner.  Nothing of the sort had been discussed for a couple of days.  Instead, one word amidst a list of items for me to pick up on my weekly errand run.

I tried calling Diane at her office and her private line bounced over to her administrative assistant.  She was in an all day meeting.  I asked to be put through to her voice mail and left her a message to call me when she has a chance.  I'm not sure what I'll say to her.  I'm not angry or anything, but curious as to why we didn't talk about it.  In some ways, I'm not surprised.  What she did teases me in an indirect yet very effective way. 

Anyway, I'm going to do what I'm told.  By the time she calls back, I'll probably already have purchased the condoms.
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