As Wednesday and my initial "full cuckold" meeting with Paul draws near, it's on my mind nearly all the time. You all know about the anxiety i feel and even though two face-to-face meetings with Paul have helped tremendously, i still experience it.
It won't be the first time that i've been dressed in front of a man before, nor will it be the first time that i'm a man's submissive. i've played that role before. But this is different. Very different. With Jake it was definitely a role i played. With Paul, it's not just a role. It's been carefully incorporated into our lifestyle. i've also never experienced entering into something like this, especially the way it was done with the establishment and acceptance of Paul's rules.
Though we've met and talked, and our second meeting was far more comfortable than the first, Wednesday will be different. i've got a little more than 48 hours to think about it. Butterflies in my stomach? More like angry birds flying around looking for a way out?
My constant reflections about my anxiety and such must be "getting old" to some of you, or maybe even all of you. i don't blame you. However at the same time it's elicited some very welcome words of support either through your comments or personal emails to me. i'm incredibly grateful to everyone, even those of you who just read the blog.
One question that's always on my mind about Wednesday is what Diane and Paul will make me wear, if anything at all? Exactly how "sissy" will they want me to be? It ranks right up there with just how much they will want me involved with them. My only prior experience with Diane and Brian didn't go that great because Brian didn't seem to get the whole cuckolding thing. Paul, under the fine tutelage of Diane, does.
What will i be wearing for that first "cuckold meeting" with Paul? Will Diane make that decision? Will it be the both of them? How humiliating will it be? i feel humiliated yet aroused just thinking about it now.
One of my loyal readers, lill jo or Jo Bradford, who happens to be a very, very talented artist, sent me a beautiful sketch of just what my first cuckold meeting with Paul might look like. She calls it "Sissy terri meets Paul."
First, i have to say that i'm incredibly flattered the lill jo would take the time to create this piece for me. Thank you sooooo much Jo. You have no idea how much it means to me.
Second, i have to say that i'm amazed and impressed by how well the sketch seems to capture the moment i've been fretting about for so long! Though we never talked about it, Jo's sketch was created simply by what she read here on these pages.
The picture illustrates Paul and Diane in casual embrace, apparently pleased by how effectively they've feminized their sissy cuckold. The cuckold, sissy terri, stands demurely in front of them with her head submissively tilted downward to avoid eye contact. she's dressed in a pink babydoll dress that's short enough to reveal the bottom of her panties, a pretty bow in her hair and some heels of perfect height. Everything is in pink, the sissy's favorite color! Amazingly, Jo captures this sissy's favorite things in this one sketch!
Who knows what i'll be wearing over my chastity belt on Wednesday? Diane and Paul probably haven't even decided yet. But whatever it is (or isn't) Jo's art certainly captures the powerful sissy emotions and anxiety i'm feeling now, and will no doubt experience on Wednesday!