Cuckold Feelings

A man who's married to a dominant wife gets used to being submissive in a variety of ways.  In fantasy, those ways are all sexually related.  In real life, they're not.  You defer to the wife in virtually all things; financial decisions, decisions about the home, domestic tasks, etc.  i could go on and on.  It doesn't always start out that way but at least in my case as Diane became more dominant, She used that leverage so that She eventually had total control.  It's not always easy.

The tradeoff of course is the pleasure a submissive gets from being sexually submissive to his dominant wife.  When you discover those kinks, fetishes and fantasies with which you feel so comfortable, it's a special feeling.  i'm comfortable with myself, living as Diane's "wife" or sissy husband.  She enjoys it also.  But again, since Her pleasure is what is of utmost importance, this too is not always easy.

When FemDom in a marriage evolves and the next step involves cuckolding, the dynamic changes dramatically.  The first time i was a cuckold, i didn't even know about it.  Diane was just plain cheating on me.  We survived, and i'm glad we did.  This time, it's totally different in the i know all about Her relationship with Brian.  Brian just doesn't know that i know.  In some ways, Diane is using him just as much as some people here think She's using Her submissive husband.

i had a difficult week emotionally.  i'm not in depression or anything like that, but just the same i am struggling with how this has evolved.  i'm jealous of what Diane has with Brian.  She tells me it's Her way of being satisfied by a real man, even though She loves what a sissy like me can provide for Her.  While i'm jealous, i also want more.

i read some cuckold blogs where the submissive husband plays a much more active role in their wife's pleasure.  They aren't hidden away like a crazy uncle in the attic when visitors come over.  As much humiliation they endure it seems like in the end, they enjoy their roles.  i want that.  i am craving it right now.

i enjoyed another creampie from Diane this week.  This time, i waited patiently at home while She and Brian made love in a local hotel room.  Rather than have him come over, She said it wouldn't work and that he would have to get a room.  She also told him she couldn't spend the night.  She could have if She wanted to, but She said She wanted to be with me instead.

When She got home Wednesday night, She made me lick Her wet panties.  There was a trace of Brian's juices on the panties but not that much.  i got to taste more of it when i was made to clean Her.

i'm glad She spent the night with me and not because i got to clean  up another creampie.

i'm happy because She wanted to be there.  She had a choice of staying in Her lover's room and making love throughout the night.  Instead, She chose me:  Her sissy cuckold husband who would also make Her feel good, but in a totally different way.

It made me feel special and important.