Last Night's Date

I went on my second date with Tom last night. It was pretty tame by comparison to the first one, but I have to admit that I felt a bit silly showing up at his door in my frock. The date was something simple this time. His fraternity was having a pre-Memorial Day barbecue. The house was rather empty with so many students home for summer, but the dozen or so who stayed behind provided food and drink. There are a lot of things you learn about dressing up the more you do it--high heels don't work well with grass. I was told by Karen that wedge heels are the way to go. She was naturally in jeans and sneakers. It was a safe environment, which is important with both Matt and Karen watching us. After dinner, we went for a walk and yes we did hold hands, but basically we made small talk and he also explained his situation with his girlfriend. For now I seem like his summer plus one. I really don't want her to find out about me, but I don't see how she won't.

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The Kiss

I'm kind of at a loss to explain exactly what happened on Saturday night, but I will do my best. To begin with I have discussed things with Jill and she told me that she has experienced a similar thing though not as embarrassing where you are so desperately trying to convince everybody that you're what you appear to be that you lose yourself in the character. This is not uncommon with actors and what we do is far more personal. Yes, I did get caught up a bit, but that doesn't make me attracted to Tom (Not Sue's boyfriend by the way) or to any other guy.

The kiss itself was an open mouth kiss that he initiated. I was tipsy and he was definitely very drunk by then. It's a very awkward situation to be in because you are trying to flirt and make him think you are a girl and that you are into him. You can't exactly knee him in the balls if he tries to kiss you. I should not have opened my mouth then. We did kiss several times throughout the night, but this was the only open mouth one. He did put his arm around me in the car, but we didn't exactly make out--he would have known if he had gotten too close.

Yes, I did feel his penis when we were dancing. I would guess about 8 inches--definitely bigger than most. I don't know if that's common or not, but I definitely felt it. In answer to questions I've been asked--I use a gaff to keep my penis from causing a bulge, but I was not excited during the evening. Yes there was some bumping and grinding on the dance floor.

I'm no expert on passing, but I would say what helped in that situation more than anything was that we didn't make a ton of real close contact before he had beer goggles. There is a pro and a con to that as while he may get less perceptive, his inhibitions loosen too.

So in answer to the big questions--yes there was tongue and no I was not turned on. I don't deny that I did get carried away and probably did more than I had to or should have. I'm going to have two more dates with him and we've talked on the phone since. I've taken full responsibility for the night apologizing for taking advantage of him with his girlfriend out of town. That should tame things down a bit for later in the week and we've agreed to go out again as friends. I guess he has an understanding with his girlfriend over summer.

I have wondered if Kristine reads the blog since she never posts, but I've received several texts from her totally enjoying it and teasing me about the whole thing. Some of you are way too quick to try and get me in trouble. I had tonight to get my thoughts in order and frankly I needed it.

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Dance Tonight

Karen's boyfriend Matt has always had an odd relationship with me. At first, I was worried he'd be jealous--afterall his girlfriend had seen me naked and barely dressed on several occasions. However, he seems to get kind of a kick out of his girlfriend and her friends being able to dominate and feminize me. He does not try and dominate me, but when I greet him, Karen and Matt have made it clear that he should get a kiss on the cheek from me. I've also had to do his laundry when it's been left over at her place and I've made a bed knowing that he just slept in it, so there is an obvious pecking order between us.

His Lacrosse club is having a dance tonight and one of his friends had his girlfriend go home for summer and she was unable to make it back. So last night, when I'm just relaxing and watching television, I was a little surprised to find Matt, Karen, and his friend Tom at the door. As they sat down, I served them beer and got one for myself. We keep beer in the fridge, but it is only there for when guests come over. They explained the situation to me and I couldn't really do much. I made a lame comment about not having anything to wear and Karen told me we'd take care of that this morning. I had no choice but to agree.

Today I bought a new dress for tonight. It's soft pink with spaghetti straps and a tiered skirt. I also bought a pair of white strappy sandals with heels. We then went for manicures. The girl who did it suggested that I might try silk wraps next time and Karen said she thought that was a great idea too. The girl who did my nails seemed very nice, but it didn't take her long to figure out Karen was in charge and asked her about polish color instead of me. We went with a pink that matches my dress.

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Careful

Be careful please. What you say has consequences and all of you saying punish Jill and Cindy if they don't blog more are being very unfair. We have a ton to do. I'm cleaned 3 apartments today. I also spent time practicing my walk and I'm constantly practicing this or working on that. I try posting as much as I can. It isn't easy to talk about exactly what's going on. I can barely believe it. Instead of going behind my back to Sheila and Amanda, why not give me suggestions of what you'd like to read about?

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My Appearance

The girls have assured me that I'll be so happy to have this hair when I don't have to wear a hot wig all Summer, but until I finish finals this week I'm mortified. I can't make it look manly in a ponytail because there's not enough hair for a ponytail. I can't comb it in anything resembling a guy's style so I'm going to class in a baseball hat. When I see myself in the mirror now I can't believe it's me. I was asked what my family thinks--they don't know yet, but I don't have any idea how to either hide this or make it look like a masculine cut. Since this started, they have loved to find ways to put me in inescapable femininity. This is the ultimate because even I find boy clothes, with this hair I'm still going to look more girl than boy.

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Freaking Out in the Chair

Not good. We obviously read each other's blogs. I especially read to see what the girls are saying about me so when I read Jill's last post about her hair in Sex and the Sissy, I knew that I would be getting my hair cut in a beauty parlor, but it still didn't prepare me for what was to come today. As I was led to the chair by a trio of giggling girls--I was terrified. Heather, Amanda, and Sheila sat me down in front of Wendy who gave me a big smile and handshake and then observed me really closely.

As Jill has mentioned, Wendy is cool with taking care of our hair and doesn't even care that we're not exactly there willingly, but she doesn't want us to cause any problems for her at work. As she explained that my hair was definitely long enough to do something with I started to panic. I immediately felt Heather's hands on my shoulders. She must have sensed that I didn't feel like staying there. All four girls including Heather made it very clear in a very subtle way that my best option was to relax. I couldn't help, but freak as I saw my hair taking on a feminine appearance. They were all overjoyed with how it turned out and informed me that as my hair grew longer the style would change. I can't figure out how to make it look masculine. I can't even do a pony tail with it.

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The Long Walk

Before we left for class Friday afternoon, Heather spied a bottle of Jill's nail polish on the end table. It was a very soft pink that was barely noticeable. She looked at me out of the corner of her eye and then despite my protests she had me spread my fingers out on the coffee table and began to paint. As I blew on my fingers and shook them to dry, I knew I'd be hiding them all class.

As Heather, Amanda, Sheila, and I headed over to our class Heather started commenting on how much she loved my shoes. As these were just simple gym shoes I knew I was in trouble. As we passed a bench she had me sit down and asked me (read that as ordered me) to sit down and switch shoes with her. I tried to put on the women's flats I was given over my socks, but I was soon corrected by Heather who told me, "If you want to wear socks that's fine, but only to fill out your bra." Needless to say, the socks wound up in my book bag and the shoes showed off my pantyhosed feet.

We only walked a few more feet when I was forced to trade belts with her. She got my simple black leather belt and I get her metallic silver one. Being partially feminized is the worst. You have no prayer of passing and at that moment I would have much preferred to be in a little black dress and stilettos than in half male, half female mode.

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