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The emotional roller coaster I've felt the past month has surprisingly seemed to lessen some now that Diane and Brian have actually been together.  I've been doing plenty of reading, not just on blogs but on other more authoritative sites that deal with lifestyle BDSM and D/s relationships, and I think that's been helpful.  I've learned that becoming a submissive involves a process and part of the process is acceptance; acceptance of who you are and accepting things that are important to your Dominant.

Diane has also been very helpful.  Since the other night she's shown concern for my feelings but at the same time making it clear that she wants to see Brian again.  This isn't going to be an every day thing with them, but it won't be a once and done fling either.  There aren't any specific plans for them to get together again, but she tells me they will and it's just a matter of logistics.

The relationship they have is in its early stages, but from my observations and what she's told me, it's strictly a sexual relationship.  They both want something highly sexual that doesn't come with too much emotional baggage and attachment.  Diane's pretty straightforward and businesslike in what she wants, and she seems to be no different with this.  I'm pretty sure her discussions with Brian that led up to their first sexual encounter made her feelings pretty clear.

I also wanted to let my readers know that I started a tumblr blog a little while ago.  I'll use it to post and reblog pictures that I find interesting.  I put a link to it right below my list of favorite cuckold blogs and hopefully it will update whenever I put a new photo up.  The blogs name is the same as this one:  "A Married Sissy."

Here's a picture of what I reblogged a little while ago.  I happen to love everything about this picture.  What sissy wouldn't?????

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Waiting Was The Hardest Part

"The waiting is the hardest part

 Every day you see one more card

 You take it on faith, you take it to the heart

 The waiting is the hardest part"

                                                  Tom Petty

Last night as every minute that passed by felt like an hour, I waited to hear from Diane.  The last time I had heard from her before she met Brian was just after 5:30 PM when she arrived at the hotel.  She was non-committal as to what time she would be home, only to say that there was no way she would be spending the night.  Her "excuse" to be away for the evening was a going away dinner for a colleague who was moving to take another job.

As the time passed by ever so slowly, it was only "normal" to think that the later it became, the more Diane was enjoying herself. The things I thought about are too numerous to list.  I kept wondering how long a tryst like this should take?  How long do two married people who have never had sex with one another stay in bed together the first time they get together?  Do any early awkward moments make the night last longer?  Is there plenty of foreplay?  Or does the passion involved mean they just rip each others' clothes off and jump into bed?

I honestly thought I would get a call around 8 PM.  I came up with that estimate after walking through various scenarios in my mind over and over.  Yesterday afternoon, I would have thought that as the night wore on and I hadn't heard from Diane I would become more nervous.  Instead, as 8 PM came and went, I began to feel more like a cuckold.  The waiting was difficult but yet, the longer I waited to hear from her, the feeling that comes with being a cuckold and knowing what was likely happening at that very moment became more and more intense.

Diane called at 9:32 PM.  I remember the exact time because as soon as the phone rang I looked at the clock on our DVD player.  "I'm still at the restaurant and will be leaving in about 10 minutes" she said, "I didn't want you to worry."  From her conversation, I knew she was still with Brian and thought I could hear just a little bit of background noise.  Knowing that he was so close to her while she spoke with me got me hard.

She called about 15 minutes later while she was on her way home.  She told me she had called me earlier so that I wouldn't worry unnecessarily.  Then she said "I thought you'd like the fact that I called you while still in Brian's room."  I hesitated to say anything.  I wanted to tell her I did, but felt embarrassed.  She broke the silence by asking me "Well, did you?"  I told her I did.  "I knew you would" she said.

Diane got home about a half hour later.  The first thing she did was to kiss me and say "Thank you.  I had a great time."

We talked for a little while about the evening.  Brian was a bit nervous at the beginning she said, and so was she.  They made love twice, with a break in between where they ordered something light from the room service menu.  I thought sitting down like that and hearing her tell me about it would be more difficult than what it was.  Diane said she doesn't want to hide anything from me.  The discussion went well.

Finally she said it was time to go upstairs, "I want to make your cuckolding complete."

I knew what she meant.  When we were in bed, I got between her legs and licked her where just an hour or so before, another man's cock had been.  There were no creampies left for me like many other cuckolds get to enjoy, but her pussy definitely felt and tasted different.  Perhaps someday there will be one for me to taste. 

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A Cuckold's Big Day

Today's the day.  Diane told me last night that Brian will be in town today and tomorrow.  She's going to be meeting him in his hotel room this afternoon after work.  I asked her if this just came up yesterday or if she'd know for awhile.  She knew since the middle of last week but didn't want to tell me until last night.  She thought I'd worry too much about it unnecessarily.  She's right, I would have.

I've spoken with Diane four times today.  She's called me to reassure me that she still loves me and I've called her to do the same.  That's helped.  It's an emotional day for me.  Yesterday began "my time of the month"  so today, I'm not only wearing a maxi pad but the tampon Diane inserted this morning.  I'm to replace it as needed throughout the day.  I've spent the day doing housework (there was plenty of ironing to do today) and running other errands.  Now it's just a matter of waiting for her to come home later tonight.

This morning Diane took longer than usual to get ready.  She looked sexier than I've ever remembered.  Of course she's probably looked just as good or even better before but with the circumstances of this day make her sexiness more pronounced.  I'm sure she'll raise eyebrows at work. She's wearing a black lace bra, matching panties, garter and thigh highs.  The black bra is very noticeable under her white blouse, but is covered quite nicely by the black jacket she's wearing.  Her black skirt is just tight enough to accentuate her shapely ass and thighs.  A tad more makeup than usual, a hint of perfume and a pearl necklace and earrings made her look irresistible.

When she was getting ready to leave, she had me retrieve the Magnum condoms I bought for her to use a couple of weeks ago and put them in her purse.   After I put them in the purse, I wondered how many she would use tonight.  I was daydreaming when Diane came over and gave me a big hug and kiss.  She promised to call me today and also tonight when she was on her way home.

Brian is going to be one lucky guy.   All that's left for me now is to wait.

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A Sissy's Hormones

My wife Diane's involvement in my feminization has always varied over the years.  There were times when it seemed constant, for days or weeks at a time.  At other times, it was as if she could care less about it.  I'm not saying that in a bad way at all.  I'm very understanding of the fact that it shouldn't be a high maintenance thing for her.  There are times when she definitely enjoys it more than others.

I can usually tell when her moods are changing.  She'll make a few comments about what I'm wearing, how I'm acting, my looks and generally just act different.  The little subtle comments she makes in public sometimes in front of friends are those that have the most profound effect on me.  We both know exactly what she means, but our friends don't get the true meaning of her comments.

Last night we got into a very tiny spat over something quite insignificant - coffee filters.  I'll leave the subject at that so as not to bore you with what are ridiculous details.  The discussion we were having didn't make any sense at all and at one point Diane said "I can tell you're getting ready to start your period this week just by the way you've been acting!"  It was a not-so-subtle reminder about my feminine role in this household as well as a warning that come Tuesday, I better be wearing some feminine protection.

The comment stopped the argument dead in its tracks.  She walked towards me, hugged me and gave me a big wet kiss.  Without another word, I finished making the coffee for Sunday morning and met her in our bedroom where she proceeded to make love to me.

When we were done Diane told me how much she loves it when my sissy hormone's kick into high gear just before my period.  I guess she's back in one of those moods!

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OMG!!! What a sissy!

I think most crossdressers pay more attention to the latest fashion news than most people.  I know I do.  A topic that's always at the forefront of fashion is what celebrities are wearing, especially gossip about those who commit fashion gaffe's.  One of today's items on omg! on Yahoo, shows "Sex in the City" star Sarah Jessica Parker in a sheer Louis Vuitton white outfit revealing her black bra under the outfit's top.  How outrageous!  Check it, and other celebs pictures here.

Submissive males often have fantasies of being forced to dress in outrageous outfits and being exposed publicly by their Dominants.  Other times, the humiliation is a bit more subtle.  It could include just being made to wear ladies shorts or other items of clothing.  Also, there's some erotic humiliation attached to having some dark lingerie seen through sheer white ladies slacks or a similar top like the outfit poor Sarah is sporting in this picture.

I would never want to be caught dead looking like she does in this photo.  Personally, my preference would be a pink or other pastel colored bra.  Black is just not my color. 

Would be interesting to hear the whispers...."OMG!  What a sissy!"

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Cheating Wives - Fulfilling Needs

Two of my favorite cuckolding blogs had two of their all time greatest posts these past couple of days.   I can't definitively say they are their all time bests because I haven't had a chance to read every single one of their postings, but I promise I will.  So, when two of my best blogs have two of their best ever postings (in my opinion) you can just imagine how much excitement there's been in my panties the past couple of days!

Yesterday over at Mrs. Kelly's Playhouse, her cuckold husband scott wrote the following in a post called "Prisoners of Fantasy":

"The wives of submissive cuckolds, in fulfilling their foolish husbands’ deepest desires, become the women that their husbands need them to be. There may be women who have a natural inclination to cheat, who don’t need prodding to venture out but, even in those cases, open cuckolding is a somewhat different beast and, once the couple get a taste for it, there usually isn’t any going back."

You obviously have to read the entire post to get the context, but the statement is imbedded in my mind since I read it.   I keep thinking about it, especially since I used the term "open cuckolding" for yesterday's title to my posting.  I'm wondering what lies ahead for us, once we experience it?  Will there be any going back?

The other posting which excited me to no end was Suzanne's midweek "escape" from family visitors to have some very hot sex with her lover and cuckold husband at the blog All Mine.  The blog seems to have evolved into more of a poly type situation that straightforward cuckolding, but the scene she describes had me all hot and bothered.  All I can think of is being in her husband's position, giving myself up to both her and her lover.  I can't imagine our relationship ever going far enough that something like that would happen.  That doesn't mean I can't dream about it!

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Open Cuckolding

Last night Diane used the term "open cuckolding" when referring to the difference between her first affair (which she had without my knowledge), and her upcoming tryst with Brian which I will be fully aware of.  She referred to the latter as "open cuckolding" because of her openness to me about almost everything that has been or will be going on.  She agreed that the term isn't necessarily the best description, but it just slipped out. 

She talked about how this time, things would be so much easier on her.  There wouldn't be the stress that comes with having to lie about who she's with, what she was doing or where she was going.  These and many other things make affairs so difficult to hide and usually are responsible for them ending up in disaster. 

She also brought up something that we had never talked about before.  It was something I sometimes wondered about but never brought up, probably out of fear of finding out the truth.  Who else knew?   I found out last night that the last time she had an affair, both her best friend Linda and sister Darlene knew about it.  I knew she was pretty close to both, but even so, last night's news was still difficult to hear.  She admitted that as wrong as it was, she used them as "excuses" to explain where she was or what she was doing at specific times or days while she was with "James."  She wasn't proud of it, and even said she was sorry for doing something like that.

Her point was that things are and will be so much different this time.  At least in her case, there won't be any need to lie to me about what she's doing with Brian.  I'll know everything she said "and even enjoy it like a good sissy cuckold." 

I couldn't help but ask if she was going to share any of this with her friend Linda or sister Darlene because she is still very, very close to both.   Her answer:  "Not unless you want me to!"

She laughed after she said it, and knew the effect it had on me.  I was already getting a little tingle in my panties.

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