Clothes maketh the gurl!

Hello, Candi here - and this has been a long time coming, and way overdue. I'm sorry! Life has been getting in the way, and I've been finding it harder and harder to find time to write for terri's fabulous blog. But things are different now, and I'm hoping to be a more regular contributor.

So, we all know how important clothing is to our special interest, and none more so that the perennial maids dress. I had always been reluctant to indulge myself in this, preferring to cultivate a look that was more mainstream feminine, focussing less on the fetish aspect of it, and more on passing as a 'normal' woman. However, after some discussions and thoughts, my curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to take the plunge.

The quality of my female clothing is always of upmost importance to me, and I had a hard time finding an outfit that was both to my liking, and well made. I finally decided on an outfit from Birch Place, which has an amazing selection, all of it made to good standards. The one I chose was the Emmanuelle French Maids outfit, in black satin with white lace trim. The great thing about Birch Place is that they will customize your order to your exact size, so I was able to create something that fitted my corseted form just about perfectly, giving me a nice female shape. It also comes with a full net petticoat, and a cute little apron to complete the ensemble. Lovely!

Well, was I in for a surprise. The garment duly came, and I finally got around to trying it on with full makeup, heels and some lovely European nylon stocking. I had thought that it would be a fun thing, a novelty, but not that much different in feeling from the usual gurl-about-town outfits that I normally wear. Oh, was I wrong.

I dressed, made up and finally looked at myself in the mirror. I could not believe the deep feeling of submission that came over me. It was completely unexpected, extremely powerful and  - Oh! - so very, very wonderful! I loved the way I looked, the way I felt, and the deep effect it had on my psych. I had never felt so feminine, so ready to let go, so ready to serve and dedicate myself to pleasing a Master - or Mistress - than ever before. I was completely stunned by how deep, and how quickly a simple addition to my wardrobe could propel me into a state of submission that I had never felt before.

Since then, I have worn it several more times, and each time, the effect has been the same. I have also worn it as part of a play session with another (dominant) CD. It is hard to describe just how powerful it has been to experience this new set of feelings, and how it has helped me to fall deeper into submission.

It just amazes me how a set of clothes with a specific cut, color and design can have such a powerful effect on the psyche. There is something so profoundly symbolic about the outfit: the short, flared skirt trimmed with lace, the flouncy, full net petticoat, the artfully placed bows as trims, the powerful contrast between black and white, the sheer silky stockings, with garters and stocking tops peeking out below the skirt, and the tall high heels, which have you delicately balanced, and set off your long legs encased in beautiful black nylon. The feeling of the satin, silky against your skin, and the delicate exposure of the short skirt. All combine in an overwhelming visual and tactile experience, pushing you deep into a mindset where your only purpose is to serve. I found it a sublime and deeply moving experience, and I am deeply grateful to terri, who was one of the people persuading me to take the plunge. I am so looking forward to exploring more of the sissy maid experience!

You can see some more pictures of the final result (and some other pics too!) on my Flickr page - here. Clothes most definitely do make the gurl!

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Beautiful Submissive Sissy Musings

i found something on tumblr the other day and i thought i would share it with all of you because i think it's beautifully written.  It also expresses very well how i feel and i'm sure how many submissives feel but just can't express themselves correctly.

It's written from the female submissive perspective (something i can certainly relate to) with references to a Dom Male, but i think it's gender neutral in that it can apply to anyone with deep yearnings to submit to someone else.

Of course feminine submission really resonates with me.  i've never really had the urge to submit, especially to a man, unless i was feminized in some way.

i guess i feel the same way as Eva does! 

Hope you enjoy....

I crave a relationship in which I can be unapologetically my submissive self.

It would be nice not having to justify my submissive quirks. Not having to defend all of the things I may say or do, all of the little things that add up and make me submissive. It’s exhausting to do that. It’s exhausting when you have to constantly define the whys - why I need to have some decisions made for me, why I need to be punished, why I need control exerted in nearly every aspect of my life. Sometimes there is no definitive reason. It just is. 

It would be a relief, then, to live the lifestyle with someone who already knows. Someone who already knows that I’m not passive simply because I need to be told what time to go to bed. Someone who knows why calling a Dominant counterpart “Sir” or “Daddy” feels more natural than using a name. Wearing a collar would be no big deal, nor would it be out of the ordinary to be taken over a knee and spanked. Having to ask permission for things would feel completely natural, too. It would feel right.

Because that is my idea of “normal”. That is all stuff that comes naturally to me. What is unnatural is having to pretend that those kinks don’t exist - or worse - that those kinks are less of a necessity and more of an option. What is wrong is having to alter those kinks to make your partner more comfortable, or having to explain them in a way that makes them sound okay or acceptable - even though they are okay and acceptable. 

I don’t want to sugarcoat what I need.

I just want to be me.

 I found this on the tumblr site Crimson Uncovered.  Beautiful isn't it?

love,

sissy terri

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my Time is Hers

When you're in the employ of somebody else, your time isn't your own.  It belongs to them.  Granted that dependent upon your job, its level, the amount of responsibility you have and dozens of other factors, you might enjoy more or less freedom.  The same is true when it comes to any type of D/s relationship when you're the "s."  Your time belongs to someone else.

The more Dominant Diane has become, the more of my life She controls.  That includes one of my and any person's most prized possessions - their time.  There was a time when She'd ask "Would you have time to do this for me today?"  Those days are gone.  If i have something that i'd like to do, it's best that i ask Her ahead of time for permission, otherwise it's likely She'll have things i have to get done. 

It can get a bit frustrating at times when it happens alongside as other D/s type situations or dynanics that are at play.  As an example, i was a little frustrated last night that there wasn't any type of intimacy between the two of us after i'd spent quite a bit of time cleaning the house and preparing dinner.  Instead, Diane added to my frustration by telling me i should sleep with my chastity belt on since i hadn't worn it while the girls were around.  i've slept with it on before and admittedly, sometimes it's not that uncomfortable, but it just added to my frustration.  Diane's comment that maybe She'd let me out a little earlier tonight provided little consolation.

Then this morning, Diane surprised me by telling me that i would have to bring Her car into the dealer for an appointment She'd made as part of a recall.  The appointment was at 9 AM, in the city and about 20 miles or so away.  There was also dry cleaning to drop off, an errand, ironing and my other daily duties.  Fortunately, the dealer provided me with a loaner and i was able to come back home and get some of these things done.  All the while, i've been locked up. 

My frustration almost became anger when i got a call from a friend who asked if i was interested in playing a round of golf this afternoon.    i politely declined.  i'm not sure i would have wanted to anyway since it's a little windy today and i'm about as fair weather a golf as you might find, but sometimes it's nice to be able to decide for myself about such things on short notice. 

It's a lesson that a submissive needs to keep reminding themselves - rarely can you have it both ways.  If you want a lifestyle D/s relationship, the Dominant sets the terms.  The submissive abides by
them.  The situation i'm in is the result of my desires (to be a submissive and obedient sissy wife) along with Diane's.  She's trained me well, and enjoyed every minute of the training and its results. 

The situation however does have its good times.  Along with Diane's Dominance and demands, comes an incredibly understanding Woman who can read my feelings and needs like an open book.  Just about a half hour ago, She forwarded an email to me that She'd received from Amazon just moments before.  It read "Just for you.  For being such a good wife.  Love, Diane" and just below that was the message from Amazon that "Your Amazon.com order of "Malco Mode Sissy-Length Pettipants" has shipped.

i can't wait for the sissy panties to arrive!

No wonder i'm such a good wife for Her.

love,

sissy terri

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Full Cut Panties

i did plenty of housework today, a little more than usual for a Tuesday.  Diane had left me a list of things to do and a few of them took longer than anticipated.  i'm very satisfied with myself though, i think my work was very thorough and of the highest domestic quality.

i'm also happy with how i've adapted and accepted my role in this relationship with Diane.  During our lovemaking last night, where She played Her usual role in penetrating me, She reminded me of that role; the one as Her wife.  And not just any wife, but a submissive wife.  i love the verbal aspect of lovemaking and it was so intimate and beautiful.  The best part was that i felt She enjoyed it as much as i did when it was all over.

She must have, because before She left for work today She told me to treat myself to a couple of pairs of luxury panties. "Go head and buy something online today" She said before kissing me goodbye.  What sissy can refuse that offer?  Not this one anyway.

So i did as i was told.  i love buying high end lingerie, items that cost way more than the panties youmight find in even an upscale department store.  The mere price of these things makes it feel naughty to buy and when you put them on, well....i think the price is worth it.

Diane did give me some instructions.  The panties were to be full cut and nothing trashy.  "Nothing over the top.  Not necessarily plain, but classy and feminine.  You knowwhat I mean" She laughed.  i hope i did.

i chose two similar pair, one pink and one white.  i've bought many feminine garments and other lingerie online, but today's  shopping felt pretty special.  Maybe it was last night's lovemaking, or the domestic things i did today, or just a good feeling about where i am in my life with Diane.  Most likely, it was a combination of the three and more things.

Anyway, i hope you like the panties.  i can't wait for them to get here!

Love,

sissy terri

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Submissive Pleasures

i was planning on spending a few hours with Jake here on Friday afternoon.  He was taking the afternoon off and was going to stop by before heading to his son's baseball game at 4:30 PM.  i was all dressed and ready to greet him by around noon time when he called to tell me that he was going to be late.  i was mildly disappointed, but at least the afternoon wasn't completely cancelled.

i waited patiently for what turned out to be more than three hours.  During that time, Jake texted me several times letting me know that he was in a meeting (one that he called by the way) and that he would be here to see me as soon as he could.

The waiting for him to arrive made me feel very submissive.  i knew that the longer i waited, the shorter our time together would be.  As the afternoon wore on, it became apparent that if he came at all, it was going to be for a real "quickie."  The final text i got came at 2:33 PM - "Leaving now.  Get ready for my cock."

i waited before i responded.  i was upset that he himself had scheduled a meeting knowing that i was waiting for him.  i didn't know the circumstances and i'm sure he had a good reason, but it made me feel used.  However, all the things that upset me and the negative feelings were minimized by the powerful submission i felt.  i texted Jake back with a simple "Yes Sir."  It was the first time i used that term in a text with him.

Jake called when he was minutes away and told me to be on my knees waiting for him.  It was about 3:30.  i knew he'd have to leave by 3:45 to be on time for his son's game.  We'd have about ten minutes.

Jake arrived at 3:35 and left just before 4 PM.  i had time to pleasure him twice.  Not once did i think about my own pleasure in the form of an orgasm, my submission was so strong and the feeling itself was pleasure enough for me.

Jake was especially dominant, wasting no time in telling me to take his cock into my mouth.  He held my head in place with both of his strong hands and made sure that i swallowed everything when he came the first time.  There was quite a bit, and I gagged several times.  i think my gagging made him even hornier.

His second orgasm took a little longer but was just as satisfying; to both of us.  He pulled out and came all over my face.  His warm semen felt wonderful, so did licking it off his fingers when he was finished cumming.

Before i knew it, he was putting his pants on and looking at his watch.  He apologized for being so rushed, and told me he would make it up to me.  Before he left he told me how awesome i was today.  "A real good girl" was what he called me.

He thanked me and was out the door on the way to his son's game.  When he thanked me i said "You're welcome" just out of habit.  i should have actually thanked him for making me feel the way i did.

love,

sissy terri

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Just Like a Woman - My First Time

i got to meet with Jake this week (at his place no less) and it was an intensely sensual and pleasurable meeting.  Jake's wife was gone for a few days staying with her mother and he had the whole house to himself.  There was something very naughty about him taking me into the master bedroom and telling me i was going to be his "wife for the day."

The deep purple short nightgown he bought me as a surprise got me hard instantly.  Jake joked that i certainly didn't look very feminine with my little erection and suggested i do my best to hide it.  It was difficult, but i tucked it between my legs for him while modeling the nightie and he got a laugh out of that.  The black lace on the gown made me feel more sexy than sissy-like and i think Jake felt the same way.  i was soon on my back on the big bed with  my smooth legs wrapped around him as he lay on top of me.  i was swooning and wanted him.

Jake was as hard as i'd ever seen or felt him.  i wanted him in my mouth, but part of me wanted him inside of me even more.  He could tell and said "Do you think you're ready?"  As much as i had been thinking about this moment, it was another one of those things that caught me by surprise.  i wasn't sure what to say and i think he was uncomfortable with the silence and finally told me it was fine if i didn't want to.   But i did want to.

"Can we try?" i asked him.

"Of course.  We can stop anytime" he said as he lay on top of me and stroked my thighs, "just say so."

Well, after plenty of foreplay (really the best part), a large amount of lube, some discomfort, and plenty of tenderness and understanding on Jake's part, i took his beautiful cock in my bottom.

It took awhile before he entered me fully.  In fact, he let me control how deep he went, instructing me to back onto his cock when i felt comfortable enough.  i was on all fours on the bed and i just loved feeling the tip of his cock pressed up against me.  The most difficult part, much like taking Diane's strap-on, was the initial penetration.  i relaxed after awhile and enjoyed it immensely.

Jake used a condom of course, but knowing he came from making love to me that way drove me wild and i had an ograsm of my own, without even touching my own penis.  i felt like i had an orgasm "just like a woman."  In fact, those are the terms Jake used when he told me i was cumming "just like a woman."

When it was all over, i felt different and still do.  It's hard to explain exactly how i feel different.  Part of it is as if i've taken a huge step towards becoming more like a woman, while still retaining my physical masculinity.  There's a huge emotional component to it also.  i seem to feel an inner glow that's difficult to explain, a feeling of fulfillment.  i can't wait to do it again.

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A Sissy Spanking

i had a wonderful afternoon with Jake on Friday.  It was the most relaxed we've been when together since we first met.  Trysts like ours (two married men getting together for sex) are usually accompanied with lots of anxiety and nervousness for obvious reasons.  It's also more difficult for the partner who's going to the other partner's home.  They can't experience the same level of security the other feels.  It's only natural.

Jake was here at our house on Friday afternoon.  His golf clubs for our Friday afternoon game never made it out of the trunk of his car.  Neither did mine.  Instead, we played other types of games.  Diane wasn't due home until around 7 PM and as the afternoon wore on, Jake seemed more and more comfortable.  He was more dominant as well.

Getting ready for his arrival had me in a high state of arousal.  i swear i came close to cumming just thinking about being feminine for him.  i wanted to surprise him , but couldn't decide what to wear to greet him.  i had bought a pretty powder blue babydoll set just like he wanted, but i didn't want to be wearing it right away.  Instead, i laid it out on the bed in a guest bedroom and thought i'd lead him by the hand into the bedroom and slip it on for him.

i changed into some cute white short shorts with pink panties underneath, a white bra and a sleeveless pink blouse.  i also wore a pair of heels, a cute faux pearl necklace, a short wig, light makeup and mascara and a hint of lip gloss. 

However, minutes before he was scheduled to arrive, i changed my mind!  i thought it over and felt he might be expecting me to be wearing the blue babydoll set, so i hurried to make the change.  i'm glad i did.

i answered the door wearing the babydoll pajamas, in heels, makeup, necklace and smiling at him with my pink pouty lips.  i could tell right away that i had pleased him.

"I'm happy you followed directions" he said, "otherwise I would have had to spank you."

He must have sensed a little disappointment in me because he quickly added that "I may decide to give you a sissy spanking anyway."   He immediately put me into femme subspace.

Submissive as i felt, i did take him by the hand and led him into the guest bedroom.  He took me in his arms and held me while he kissed me and told me to get him undressed.  With my clit throbbing n my panties, i tried to take my time while i undressed him, but wanted him naked quickly.  i kissed his chest when i took off his shirt.  i stroked and kissed his thighs when his pants came down.  i buried my face in his crotch and kissed his cock when i slid down his briefs.

He pushed me down on the bed and lay on top of me.  i wrapped my smooth legs around me as i felt his strong muscled chest against my smooth bosom.  "Soon, I hope you're ready to let me take you like a woman" he said.  i felt my heart flutter.  i was stunned.  Nervous and unsure about what to say, i waited a little and said "i'd love that."   Before i could say anything else, his massive cock was parting my lips.

We spent the afternoon in bed, talking in between bouts of sex.   There was also a little modeling for him.  When i told him how i had changed my mind about what to wear to greet him, he told me to put the original outfit on for him.  He liked it.  It's the outfit i wore for my spanking.

It's not the first time i found myself over a man's lap.  Ken had spanked me before but not that often.  Jake got into it.  It was more than a playful spanking.  i loved being told what a naughty girl i was.

When the spanking was over, i proved it by taking his beautiful cock in my mouth and swallowing every drop of his hot and loving cum.

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A Complete Cuckold?

i had to take somewhat of an unexpected business trip this week and haven't been able to post anything on the blog.  i procrastinated in doing so last weekend and then when i found out i had to travel late Sunday, i just ran out of time.  In fact, i'm still away from home and won't be back until tomorrow night. 

There was a time when traveling alone was something i looked forward to because of the opportunity it gave me to fully express my feminine self.  i would bring some lingerie with me, do some shopping and several times i even visited a woman who provided makeovers for crossdressers.  There was no sex involved, but just an entire makeover from head to toe that included makeup, a wig, and just about any type of clothing you could think of.  i used to love my trips to Chicago!

For the most part, that thrill is gone because i have the opportunity to express my feminine self both at home and with Jake.  At home, my role as Diane's wife couldn't be any clearer.  Not only am i expected to do all the things a real wife would do, She goes out of Her way to make sure i know that i'm the wife and She wears the pants in the family.  It's become more pronounced since She and Brian have been seeing each other.

My Friday date with Jake was really nice.  i got to get dressed fully for him at his house despite my nervousness.   It was silly because there was no way anyone was going to be around.  It was the first time i wore a dress, hose, heels and a wig for him.  It felt so awesome to be held by him and have him cup my ass as he brought me close to him.  It wasn't the first time we kissed, but it was the best by far.  i pleasured him several times and after the last time, he "allowed" me to play with myself (in sissy fashion of course) and i came while i licked his balls one last time.  He also loved watching me lick up whatever cum spilled on to the kitchen floor!  i am beginning to really love his growing dominance.

Brian and Diane got together tonight, and i still haven't heard from Her yet.  She told me if i didn't hear from Her than Brian may be spending the night. 

i hate to admit it, but the fact that Diane has become submissive to another man seems to be a type of humiliation i crave.  In some ways, it seems to be a step towards making me a more complete cuckold.   But i also have a feeling there's even further to go. 

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Loving Her Sissy

Diane must have left out the tampons and pads last night before she went to bed.  They were on the vanity in the master bath when i got up this morning; a reminder that i was due to start my period today.  i had it on my calendar but Diane enjoys doing little things like that just to make sure i don't forget. 

i was getting ready to use the supplies She had put out when She told me to hold off until later this afternoon.  "Periods don't always start first thing in the morning" She said with a laugh.  i smiled at Her and put the things back on the vanity.

i'm also feeling femme today for a few other reasons.  As my role as Diane's submissive wife and cuckold becomes more ingrained in our lives each day, and as i continue to see Jake, the tone and content of many of our conversations with each other have also changed.  For instance, this morning while sipping on Her morning coffee and reading the Sunday newspaper Diane said "Isn't it funny how both our boyfriends are gone on vacation with their wives this week?"  I agreed that it was quite the coincidence.

Maybe i shouldn't be, but i was struck by the nonchalance with which She said that to me.  i thought about how possibly, even though i am still Her husband, She really doesn't look at me that way any more in the traditional sense.  She seems to view me more as Her submissive girlfriend and even treats me that way sexually.   Because of that, i'm finding myself needing more affirmation of Her love for me.  i'm a little more insecure than i was and it's not because of my cuckolding but more because of how i think She sees me. 

Late this morning we went to the gym together and after showering when we got home,  Diane told me it was time for some fun.  i love pleasing Her.  i don't think i'm that different than many submissives who get tremendous emotional satisfaction from pleasing their Dominant Wives.  Our own sexual gratification isn't that important to us.  That's how it is with me and Diane.  But today, She made sure i got satisfied as well. 

Once again, i took Her strap-on rather aggressively.  She enjoyed teasing and taunting me, telling me i'd better not cum until She gave me permission.  i'm glad She didn't wait to long to give me permission.  i came when She was deep inside of me.  It was a powerful orgasm for me.  But it wasn't the best part of the morning for me.  There were two things that were more important to me.

The first was when i provided her pleasure.  The other, and most important of all, was when She told me She loved me.

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Submission and Femininity

I don't always feel more submissive when dressed in women's clothes, but most of the time I do.  I suppose I'm the product of my upbringing that women are supposed to be the weaker sex and adopt more docile and secondary roles in our society, acquiescing to their husbands  and boyfriends.  Times have certainly changed and I think there are more men like me comfortable in adopting these types of roles.  We just happen to enjoy crossdressing as well!

Diane can be quite dominant but not in a "hard" sort of way.  She's not much into bondage, heavy pain and those types of things associated with many aspects of BDSM and D/s.  There are many times when I wish she enjoyed some of these things but I totally understand that it's just not her.  Her dominance over me includes feminization along with a softer but very controlling approach, with a healthy dose of humiliation and more recently, cuckolding thrown in for variety.

That doesn't mean a sissy can't fantasize right?  Whenever I see a woman dressed in lovely lingerie or other classy feminine finery and in a very submissive pose, I can't help but dream about being in her position; at the hands of a dominant man who is ready to use me in any way he wants.  I'm there as his obedient slut, ready to do his bidding and be his toy.

Today, I came across such a photo on tumblr and wanted to share it with you.  This photo just does it for me in several ways.  I fantasize about what took place before the picture was snapped, as well as what is about to happen.  The collar, leash and bound wrists seem so well synchronized.  The mystery Dom can't be seen, yet his presence is so powerfully felt.  He tugs the leash with one hand and toys with her silky thong with another.  If she's as submissive as I am, she is probably at the point of orgasm  just as this photo is being snapped. 

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