The aftermath of the argument that Diane and i had has been overall a very positive thing for me, and probably for Diane as well. Even though my feelings are somewhat secondary in this relationship, we both realize that being in tune with each others' feelings is very important. i use the term "somewhat secondary" only because i don't think any relationship can sustain itself if one partner tunes out the other one's feelings completely.
One of the things that l led up to our argument was that both of us weren't in the best of moods. Shame on me for not taking that into consideration. My own mood and what caused it really isn't important. What i should have realized and understood is why Diane wasn't at the top of Her game.
Diane hasn't seen Brian in a long time. A few weeks or more. It's probably the longest period they've gone apart since they began their affair. The plan was for Her to see him this week and host him here in our home. It was Her plan and unbeknownst to me, She also wanted to increase the "cuckolding portion" of the relationship. The plan feel through, Brian wasn't able to make it this week and now, he doesn't think he can make it until the week after next.
i wasn't aware of this information when the argument broke out, and it wasn't shared with me until several days later. Diane wasn't hiding it from me bur rather, She didn't see it as an important root cause of the argument when in fact, it was probably a significant contributing factor.
It's a lesson learned for both of us, but a much more important one for me to absorb. See, it's my responsibility to be sensitive to Diane's feelings. All of them. Those She has towards me, Her job, our home life and especially the ones that involve Her lover Brian. Given that She was upset that She wasn't going to see him this past week, and unsure when She would see him next, my behavior that night was simply not acceptable.
The other thing is is that i can relate with Her feelings. i can be sympathetic towards how She is feeling and offer Her some form of comfort by helping Her through a difficult period. But i think i can also be empathetic. i've experienced the same type of disappointment when meetings with Jake haven't materialized or had to be cancelled.
i mentioned this to Diane last night and after a pause said "I guess you're right. In some ways, we're both 'The Other Woman'." i never looked at it that way, but the more i thought about it it made me feel even more submissive to my beautiful Wife.