in some ways 'm not very proud of myself for what i did today. In other ways, i'm excited and happy
About two weeks ago i wrote a post about "Repressing my sissy Urges" and my most recent contact with Jake and how he contacted me because he was in one of his "moods." He'd told me all about those moods of his, how there were times when he had no desires to have a man service him. Those desires would come and go. His call to me came when he really wanted me to service him.
My own desires don't have that same ebb and flow. As i've become more comfortable with who i am and my feminine side, my yearnings to please a man are usually present in some form or another. My rejection of Jake's recent advances has weighed on me quite a bit. i don't want to feel like i am at his beck and call, but at the same time, i'm craving for the feminine fulfillment i get from pleasuring him.
Today, i've decided to contact him and ask him if he would like to come over this morning or this afternoon. i want to be with him again and feel that i'm only denying myself pleasure unnecessarily. Diane's getting together with friends after work so She'll be a little late. And the timing is good. My "period" is over.
Jake jumped at the opportunity. He's going to take the afternoon off and should be here around 2 o'clock.
Brian and Diane are probably not going to be able to see one another until the second full week of February. They talk almost every day, and I can tell She misses him. She's not sure just how comfortable Brian would be letting me service him. She'd like to see it but told me that "Hey, it may never happen."
The humiliation that would exist if i were to service Brian in front of Diane isn't present when i'm with Jake. Instead, it's replaced by a feminine submissive feeling that's hard to describe. It's that urge that made me cave in and change my mind about the feelings i wrote about in my earlier post.
i can't wait to see Jake this afternoon, and from the sound of his voice I think he's looking forward to it as well.