i find myself on the road again this week. This leaves Diane with plenty of opportunities to host Her lover Paul in our home. She already did so on Tuesday during the late afternoon and Her plan is to see him again some time this evening. i'm amazed at the ease with which we have a discussion about Her potential meetings with him. It's a testament to both our acceptance of the current situation in our marriage.
Nonetheless, there still is and probably always will be, some anxiety, angst, shame and humiliation knowing that another man is making love to my Wife in what is perceived to be our "marital bed." All of this lessens over time, but i doubt it ever totally disappears.
Diane also took an interest in my post the other day about Bra Shopping. During our phone conversation last night She mentioned that "my" Victoria's Secret catalog had come in and there were some real pretty bras in it that She thought i would love. It's a running joke in our household about
how the VS catalog comes addressed to me. i'm sure many other males get one, even if they aren't sissies like i am. All one has to do is purchase something at VS with a credit card and you're likely going to receive catalogs and other offers from them. Diane's even made a joke of it to a few friends on how i'm the one who gets all the special offers like "buy 3 bras and get one free!" Diane offered to buy a couple of the bras for me but decided it might be more fun to shop together when i'm home this weekend. i had to agree.
My last post on Early Crossdressing urges and experiences brought to mind an incident that took place in my life when i was probably in kindergarten or first grade. i've never written about it and i'm not sure why. Probably because at the time, there was no sexual feelings attached to it because of how young i was. Yet i remember it vividly....
i was staying with an aunt one summer afternoon. My dad was working and my mom had something going on that day so i was left with my aunt for the hot summer day. i had to female cousins, one older and one younger than i and they had a nice pool in their backyard. My mother had forgotten to pack my bathing suit and when it came time to go swimming after lunch i had nothing to wear.
My aunt did her best to try to find something that could serve as a bathing suit for a young boy but came up empty. It was hot and i wanted to go swimming and her only solution was to wear one of my older cousin's old sun suits. i balked at the idea but with the 90+ degree heat and high humidity taking over in the afternoon, but she convinced me that there was nothing wrong with putting the girls sun suit on and enjoying the pool.
She put the sun suit on me and i jumped into the pool with my cousins. My older cousin was a few years older than i was and the younger one just a year behind me. All was well until one of my older cousin's friends made her way into their backyard. Apparently, she had an open invitation to come over and swim whenever my cousin was in the pool.
At first, this friend of hers thought i was a girl and it wasn't until my cousin told her that i was a "boy cousin that forgot his bathing suit" that she knew the truth. She laughed and i was ashamed and for a brief moment wanted to get out of the pool and go in the house. Then it seemed like instantly, we were all back to playing as if there was nothing strange going on.
i spent the afternoon in that girls' sun suit and felt very comfortable. Many years later, i'd still be very comfortable.