i took a whole month off from blogging here for a few reasons. The biggest one is that i'm having a difficult time dealing with being a cuckold. And yet it was something i'd fantasized about for such a long time.
Diane's admitted that She's in love with Paul but still loves me. He's in love with Her but still loves his wife. Neither Diane or Paul want to leave their spouses. All this can't happen without changes in the relationships they have with their current spouses in my opinion. i can't speak for Paul's wife. but in our case the change has been very noticeable.
Diane's still dominant over me but not nearly as much as She was. There's still some teasing about the cuckolding but even that has diminished. And our sexual play has declined as well. This has been brewing for awhile but it all seemed to come to a head about a month ago, and it happened when other work-related issues made our lives quite hectic.
i decided to take on more consulting work and am traveling quite a bit. My sissy wife duties have been taken over by a paid housekeeper. i'm not home much except for weekends, leaving Diane plenty of time and space to play with Paul.
my desires to be with a man haven't gone away and Diane knows it. She understands and is open to letting play with a man under safe and discreet conditions. She admits it was selfish of Her to take that away from me in the first place even though i don't think it was. As my Domme, She had every right to do that.
However, i've yet to begin looking for someone to play with. i think Jake is out of the picture. As fun as he was, he never really "got it." He wasn't nearly as dominant a man as i would have liked and there were long periods of time where his bi urges would just disappear. And since i've been traveling, i haven't had time to start looking. i'm not a big fan of places like Craigslist or Collarme, but i don't know of many other places. There's a site for mature bi and gay males called Silverdaddies and i've chatted with some nice people there so we'll see.
Let me finish this post on a little upbeat note. i'm alone again this week and traveling so last night i decided to go do some shopping for something pretty and sissy. Diane and i used to do this regularly but i can't remember the last time we did it. i hope we do it again.
i decided i was going to buy myself a pretty bra, not worrying about what the salesperson would think or what they might say. i would simply find a bra that i liked, pick it out and then pay for it.
i found this pretty white bra with pink trim around the cups and a pretty little pink bow between the cups. It's the only thing i bought and when i took it to the counter at Macy's the lady there asked me if i had found everything i was looking for. i answered "yes" with a smile and a nod. It was the truth but i could have also told her that there were so many other things that i wanted.
She told me it was a very pretty bra and i didn't say anything. i even payed with a credit card. i was a little uneasy at first when i started shopping, took the bra off the display rack and walked to the counter. Fortunately the store wasn't busy but by the time i was finishing the transaction there was a woman behind me waiting to check out.
i know times have changed, but a man buying a bra in the lingerie section of a department store is still something that draws people's attention. i wasn't looking to draw attention however. i was just being myself.