my last post left me wondering about many things that happened during my preteen and teenage years. i mentioned that my Mom "must have suspected" about my interest in crossdressing and never said anything. My mother was a very smart woman and i can't help but think that her decision not to confront me about it was the right one. Making a big deal out of it at that time might have had very negative psychological effects on me.
Society was not so understanding in the 70's and 80's.
As smart as she was i know she knew. Perhaps her decision to leave me alone was because other than my crossdressing urges, i didn't exhibit any other type of feminine behavior. i never played with dolls
or other girls toys and played more sports than most all of the boys my age. It wasn't until later in life that i really started having bisexual urges.
When i first realized that wearing women's lingerie gave me sexual pleasure, i became worried that deep down i was gay. i was petrified. i tried to convince myself that the reason i got aroused by lingerie was because i liked girls so much, that even their clothes aroused me. How silly was that? Much later, i read a scholarly article (i think it was in Psychology Today) that touched on the subject of "Transvestism" (now there's a word you don't see much anymore) and studies had shown that the majority of men who crossdressed were not homosexual. What a relief!
One fantasy i did have back then had to do with "Petticoat Punishment." It's a very, very popular fetish or fantasy among CD's and i was no different. i'd have fantasies about being made to wear my sister's clothes for getting in trouble. What type of trouble i got into didn't matter, it was the
punishment i fantasized about. Sometimes, it would be an aunt who would make me dress like their daughters' and force me to play outside with the girls.
It's all fantasy and very contrary to anything my Mom would have done. Her common sense and well adjusted approach helped me turn into a successful young man and find a lovely Wife. One could easily argue that i'm not very well adjusted, but i know one thing - i'm a happily married sissy :)