Submissive Pleasures

i was planning on spending a few hours with Jake here on Friday afternoon.  He was taking the afternoon off and was going to stop by before heading to his son's baseball game at 4:30 PM.  i was all dressed and ready to greet him by around noon time when he called to tell me that he was going to be late.  i was mildly disappointed, but at least the afternoon wasn't completely cancelled.

i waited patiently for what turned out to be more than three hours.  During that time, Jake texted me several times letting me know that he was in a meeting (one that he called by the way) and that he would be here to see me as soon as he could.

The waiting for him to arrive made me feel very submissive.  i knew that the longer i waited, the shorter our time together would be.  As the afternoon wore on, it became apparent that if he came at all, it was going to be for a real "quickie."  The final text i got came at 2:33 PM - "Leaving now.  Get ready for my cock."

i waited before i responded.  i was upset that he himself had scheduled a meeting knowing that i was waiting for him.  i didn't know the circumstances and i'm sure he had a good reason, but it made me feel used.  However, all the things that upset me and the negative feelings were minimized by the powerful submission i felt.  i texted Jake back with a simple "Yes Sir."  It was the first time i used that term in a text with him.

Jake called when he was minutes away and told me to be on my knees waiting for him.  It was about 3:30.  i knew he'd have to leave by 3:45 to be on time for his son's game.  We'd have about ten minutes.

Jake arrived at 3:35 and left just before 4 PM.  i had time to pleasure him twice.  Not once did i think about my own pleasure in the form of an orgasm, my submission was so strong and the feeling itself was pleasure enough for me.

Jake was especially dominant, wasting no time in telling me to take his cock into my mouth.  He held my head in place with both of his strong hands and made sure that i swallowed everything when he came the first time.  There was quite a bit, and I gagged several times.  i think my gagging made him even hornier.

His second orgasm took a little longer but was just as satisfying; to both of us.  He pulled out and came all over my face.  His warm semen felt wonderful, so did licking it off his fingers when he was finished cumming.

Before i knew it, he was putting his pants on and looking at his watch.  He apologized for being so rushed, and told me he would make it up to me.  Before he left he told me how awesome i was today.  "A real good girl" was what he called me.

He thanked me and was out the door on the way to his son's game.  When he thanked me i said "You're welcome" just out of habit.  i should have actually thanked him for making me feel the way i did.

love,

sissy terri

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The Evolution of a Sissy

i was real young when i realized i had a fetish for ladies lingerie.  i didn't know it was a fetish at first, but i knew i liked it.  It was something i had to keep hidden for such a long time.  Even though i enjoyed the lingerie, i never once stopped liking girls or even considered sex with a man.  All of my fantasies included other women while i was dressed, but never did involve a man.  That came much later.

When thoughts of other men first crept into my fantasies, they always involved some sort of humiliation, i.e. being discovered, made to play the part of a girl in a school play, sent off to play with the girls because i was discovered to be wearing panties and other such scenarios.  The fantasies never involved my pleasing the men sexually. 

Eventually, i did start thinking about that.  They were all forced-bi scenarios where i was made to pleasure the men.  "If you want to dress like a girl, you're going to have to act like one." That was the theme of the fantasies. 

Eventually, the fantasies changed and they weren't all forced-bi anymore.  Desires for another man grew stronger.  i wanted to dress and be submissive to another man. 

Now that i've experienced that i wonder how many sissies experienced the same type of evolution.  It took some time before i realized and accepted my bisexuality.  It's not a huge part of my life.  But i'm happy that i've experienced it.  It's helped me feel more feminine.

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Repressing My Sissy Urges

Earlier this week i got an email from Jake, then a phone call.  i didn't answer the email right away although it was my intention to do so, so a few hours later he called me.  There was some small talk and he asked me how i was doing, how the holidays were and so on.  i had a feeling i knew why he was calling and sure enough, he asked me if i'd like to get together with him again.

The honest answer would have been a "yes."  The more difficult one was to say no.  Luckily i had thought this through before and anticipated that he would contact me again at some point.  To be honest, i'd even thought about getting in touch with him but i didn't.  Jake had often told me that his desires to be with another man, to have someone orally please him without any reciprocation, would come and go.  There were periods where the desire was so intense according to him, and other times when it would wane and be almost non-existent.

It made me feel so "used" and inferior.  i felt like i was his little toy to be used during one of his needy periods; someone to be tossed aside when he didn't feel like it anymore.  i didn't only feel like that.  Facing reality, i really was that plaything of his to use until his urges subsided.  The urges are back now, and he wants me on my knees in front of him once again.

Being looked upon that way by another man has its own perverse sort of pleasure for a submissive.  i'd love to feel his cock on my lips and in my mouth once again.  i'd love to dress sexy for him and be told to drop to my knees and pleasure him.  i just can't do it. 

The urge to be a submissive sissy to a man remains.  It was hard to say no, but i'm glad i did.  Maybe i'll change my mind someday, but i doubt it.

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Just Like a Woman - My First Time

i got to meet with Jake this week (at his place no less) and it was an intensely sensual and pleasurable meeting.  Jake's wife was gone for a few days staying with her mother and he had the whole house to himself.  There was something very naughty about him taking me into the master bedroom and telling me i was going to be his "wife for the day."

The deep purple short nightgown he bought me as a surprise got me hard instantly.  Jake joked that i certainly didn't look very feminine with my little erection and suggested i do my best to hide it.  It was difficult, but i tucked it between my legs for him while modeling the nightie and he got a laugh out of that.  The black lace on the gown made me feel more sexy than sissy-like and i think Jake felt the same way.  i was soon on my back on the big bed with  my smooth legs wrapped around him as he lay on top of me.  i was swooning and wanted him.

Jake was as hard as i'd ever seen or felt him.  i wanted him in my mouth, but part of me wanted him inside of me even more.  He could tell and said "Do you think you're ready?"  As much as i had been thinking about this moment, it was another one of those things that caught me by surprise.  i wasn't sure what to say and i think he was uncomfortable with the silence and finally told me it was fine if i didn't want to.   But i did want to.

"Can we try?" i asked him.

"Of course.  We can stop anytime" he said as he lay on top of me and stroked my thighs, "just say so."

Well, after plenty of foreplay (really the best part), a large amount of lube, some discomfort, and plenty of tenderness and understanding on Jake's part, i took his beautiful cock in my bottom.

It took awhile before he entered me fully.  In fact, he let me control how deep he went, instructing me to back onto his cock when i felt comfortable enough.  i was on all fours on the bed and i just loved feeling the tip of his cock pressed up against me.  The most difficult part, much like taking Diane's strap-on, was the initial penetration.  i relaxed after awhile and enjoyed it immensely.

Jake used a condom of course, but knowing he came from making love to me that way drove me wild and i had an ograsm of my own, without even touching my own penis.  i felt like i had an orgasm "just like a woman."  In fact, those are the terms Jake used when he told me i was cumming "just like a woman."

When it was all over, i felt different and still do.  It's hard to explain exactly how i feel different.  Part of it is as if i've taken a huge step towards becoming more like a woman, while still retaining my physical masculinity.  There's a huge emotional component to it also.  i seem to feel an inner glow that's difficult to explain, a feeling of fulfillment.  i can't wait to do it again.

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The Good Little Housewife

"Aren't you the good little housewife?" Diane said to me the other night, her comments dripping with sensual and sarcastic domination.  i was wearing one of my prettiest aprons when she got home from work and had a lovely dinner all prepared for the two of us.

It was sort of a special occasion, a corny anniversary of sorts.  Not a wedding anniversary but a date that we've always remembered for romantic reasons.  Just because things have changed so much for us was no reason to stop our little tradition.  Diane was glad i remembered, and i was happy She was pleased. 

Although i did all the preparation and serving of the dinner, when we sat down and toasted with a glass of Her favorite wine, i almost felt like Her equal as opposed to Her submissive.  Even though i was dressed in a very pretty housewife-like  print dress with a pearl necklace and matching earrings, we talked intimately and enjoyed dinner very much. 

Diane seemed to enjoy the dinner so much She even told me She felt guilty about not having lifted a finger to assist in its preparation and volunteered to help clean up.  I refused Her help and told Her to just relax and i would join Her soon.  "That's the good little housewife in you" She said and after pausing added "that I love so much."  She just smiled and went into the living room to finish her second glass of wine.  She made a couple of calls on Her cell while She was there, but i couldn't really make out who they were to.  One of them could of been Brian but i just couldn't be sure.

i joined Her later and sat next to Her on the sofa.  She reached over and kissed me softly and it felt so nice.  "I really don't know how to reward you for such a wonderful dinner and evening" She told me, "everything was absolutely delicious and just right."  i told Her there was no need to repay me at all, just to continue loving me.  "I'll always love you.  You'll never have to worry about that."  It was beautiful the way She said it.

"But I do need to reward my good little housewife in a special way.  I want to do something special for you, something very, very significant" She said as She smiled at me.  "Would you like that?"

i told Her i would love anything She would do for me.  "I know you would sweetheart" She said.

Somehow, i think She knows exactly what that special reward is, but isn't prepared to share it with me. 

On another note, i haven't been able to blog much lately because of my consulting job.  It got busier than anticipated and the next few months are going to be the same.  i'm making more money than i thought i would and as promised, it is turned over to Diane and i'm given an allowance.  It's a pretty generous allowance, but the fact that i turn it over to Her makes me feel more submissive.

i am seeing Jake tomorrow here at our house. He doesn't have much time but i want to see him very much.  i don't like being rushed but it's either that or not see him until next week or the week after.  i'm going to do my best to look as feminine as possible for his arrival and do my best to please him. 

Diane is working tomorrow morning and we leave in the afternoon to fly to New York for a wedding on Long Island Saturday.  We're also going with Diane's friend Linda and her husband.  It's a funny feeling, especially that Linda now knows that i know that Diane is having an affair with Brian.  She knows i'm a cuckold, just not the whole extent of it. 

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A Complete Cuckold?

i had to take somewhat of an unexpected business trip this week and haven't been able to post anything on the blog.  i procrastinated in doing so last weekend and then when i found out i had to travel late Sunday, i just ran out of time.  In fact, i'm still away from home and won't be back until tomorrow night. 

There was a time when traveling alone was something i looked forward to because of the opportunity it gave me to fully express my feminine self.  i would bring some lingerie with me, do some shopping and several times i even visited a woman who provided makeovers for crossdressers.  There was no sex involved, but just an entire makeover from head to toe that included makeup, a wig, and just about any type of clothing you could think of.  i used to love my trips to Chicago!

For the most part, that thrill is gone because i have the opportunity to express my feminine self both at home and with Jake.  At home, my role as Diane's wife couldn't be any clearer.  Not only am i expected to do all the things a real wife would do, She goes out of Her way to make sure i know that i'm the wife and She wears the pants in the family.  It's become more pronounced since She and Brian have been seeing each other.

My Friday date with Jake was really nice.  i got to get dressed fully for him at his house despite my nervousness.   It was silly because there was no way anyone was going to be around.  It was the first time i wore a dress, hose, heels and a wig for him.  It felt so awesome to be held by him and have him cup my ass as he brought me close to him.  It wasn't the first time we kissed, but it was the best by far.  i pleasured him several times and after the last time, he "allowed" me to play with myself (in sissy fashion of course) and i came while i licked his balls one last time.  He also loved watching me lick up whatever cum spilled on to the kitchen floor!  i am beginning to really love his growing dominance.

Brian and Diane got together tonight, and i still haven't heard from Her yet.  She told me if i didn't hear from Her than Brian may be spending the night. 

i hate to admit it, but the fact that Diane has become submissive to another man seems to be a type of humiliation i crave.  In some ways, it seems to be a step towards making me a more complete cuckold.   But i also have a feeling there's even further to go. 

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My Tennis Panties

i felt so feminine this morning, almost devilishly so.  Maybe because i'm all excited about my upcoming dates with Jake and how well things are going.  i keep thinking about how hot it was to go down on him before our golf date the other day, right in his dining room!

i couldn't help myself today.  i slipped some ruffled tennis panties on along with a pleated tennis skirt and matching top (i put some taupe colored pantyhose on also to make my legs look a little more tan) and just twirled around over and over so that my panties were exposed when the skirt lifted.  It felt so good.  i even went outside for a bit and did the same.  i was in a very secluded area of our property, so there was almost no chance of my being seen.  i felt so naughty!

i got so excited that when i came in, i laid on the bed and stroked myself softly until i came in the panties.

i know it's silly, but sometimes sissies just have to get certain things out of their systems.

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Sissy Dates

My golf date with Jake went real well on Friday.  i picked him up at his house in the afternoon and even though there was no one around, we didn't want to take the chance to fool around just in case his wife came home early.  Well, we fooled around just a little bit!  He wanted to see the panties i was wearing and when i lowered my shorts to show him, he didn't hesitate to have me turn around and model them for him.  He also caressed my butt which immediately sent me swooning and got me aroused. 

i wasn't the only one aroused!  Jake took my hand and put it over his crotch.  i loved the feeling and couldn't help myself.  Instinctively, i was on my knees in his kitchen and feeling for his cock.  He stopped me, but only briefly, so we could move over to the dining room where he could stand and see if anyone was coming up the driveway!  His home is set about 40 or 50 yards from the road and the dining room window allowed him to see anyone driving up to the house.

i felt so submissive and feminine on my knees taking care of Jake's masculine needs.  At the same time, i was fulfilling needs of my own.  The need to serve.  The need to feel like a man's "wife", "girlfriend" or "sissy."  The need to please.  And the need to feel a man in my mouth.  i was totally aroused but didn't touch myself.  i hoped Jake wouldn't make me play with myself like the last time and he didn't.  Sometimes, the Dominant's pleasure is more than satisfying for a submissive.

The golf was fun.  Of course, we shared the same cart and Jay would often sneak a nice feel on my smooth legs.  i really loved that.  We also got a chance to talk.  At one point, he told me that he'd like to have me wear a bra, maybe just a sports bra, when we played golf.  i was surprised at that comment but so  happy.  It made me feel like he was enjoying my femininity and would be willing to exploit it even more.

We also talked about future dates.  We're going to meet some day this week, possibly at my place and i want to wear something special for him.  We also talked about the possibility of going on a golfing weekend together!  i'm not sure how much golf we would play but the thought of spending a weekend with him would be so awesome!

When we got back to his place his wife was there and Jake introduced me to her.  Nancy seemed very nice and was both welcoming and hospitable.  She asked if we wanted something to drink and some snacks so i stayed a little while and chatted.  She asked if my wife played golf and i jokingly answered that the fact that she didn't was probably the secret to our successful marriage.  She laughed about that and said that she also didn't play.  The meeting went well and Jake seemed like he was relaxed about it.  i thought he looked a little tense at first but by the time i left, he was fine. 

In closing today's post, i do have to say that meeting Jake has been really great for me.  However, it does bring up a small dilemma that i've been struggling with internally for several weeks.  Ken, the man i had an affair with until he moved away, will be visiting in a couple of weeks.  i told Jake about Ken, but not that i was planning to see him while he was here.  i've thought it over and gone back and forth.  As much as i wanted to see Ken and play with him, things have changed and i wouldn't feel right being intimate with him while doing the same with Jake.

i know it sounds silly, but when i met Jake, we were both looking for a regular friendship that wouldn't involve running around with others.  i know i would be disappointed if Jake saw an old friend of his and had sex with him.  i've decided that i'm probably going to have lunch with Ken or something like that but no sex.  i hope he understands.

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"What Color Panties....

...are you wearing today?" Jake asked me as soon as i answered his call yesterday afternoon.  It was the very first thing he said and i felt excited and relieved at the same time.  Excited just by the way he said it; dominant, firm and demanding of an answer.  Within the question lied the insinuation that i had better be wearing panties.  Relieved that the question was proof that he was more interested in my feminine side that i thought.  The fears i relayed in one of my earlier posts were more imagined than real.

"i'm wearing pink ones" i told him. 

"Describe them to me" he said.

i went on to describe the pair of pink, size 6, cotton candy colored Jockey bikini panties i was wearing.  They were sort of "striped", with two different shades of pink stripes running horizontally on the panties, one stripe a deeper shade of pink than the other to provide contrast.  i own several similar pairs, mostly pink but one in white and another in blue.

"I bet you look very sexy in them" he said.  i blushed, not knowing what to say.  "i try to" i said.

"Good girl" he answered. 

Wow.  What a feeling to hear that from him.  It made me feel so feminine and in need of his attention.

We talked for about 20 minutes.  Jake admitted that it was a good idea to meet Diane and even suggested that at some point I meet his wife so that she could also view me as a new friend or golfing buddy.  We're going to try to meet this Friday at the gym and i will have him over "for coffee" after our workout!  Diane will be at work and it will be just the two of us.  i'm a little nervous, hoping that everything goes just right!

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Downer of a Day

Yesterday turned out to be somewhat of a downer.  When the woman at the front desk at the gym scanned me in, she told me to wait a second before i went into the locker room because i had a message.  She found an envelope that had my name on it and handed it to me.  The message was from Jake, apologizing that he couldn't make it to the gym Thursday or Friday, that something came up at work and he'd be out of town.  "Let's try Saturday" was how the message closed.

The message really bummed me out.  As nervous as i was about having coffee with him, there was also plenty of angst and constant worry about whether or not i was reading this right and even if i was, how i was supposed to act.  Now with this cancellation, i would be filled with at least a few more days of nervousness. 

This isn't like someone you meet online where you post an ad that, if written properly, should explain the type of person you are looking for.  When you do that, the people who respond aren't usually surprised by your interests and fantasies if you've been honest.  This situation with Jake makes me feel like a teenage girl in high school!  Even if i am reading this correctly, and he is interested in me sexually, i still have to somehow make sure he's okay with my femme side.  It's possible he suspects it because of my smooth legs, but somehow i doubt it.   i've gone over ways i can bring it up in a conversation (if our conversation ever gets far enough) and will continue to fret over it.

I also started "my period" yesterday.  When i walked into the bathroom yesterday morning, Diane had set out my box of Maxipads, a non-verbal signal that i should put one on immediately.  By my calculations, i wasn't due to "start" and mentioned it to Her.  "You must have miscalculated" was Her answer.  i wore the pad.

Leaving the box of Maxipads out on the bathroom vanity was a clear message from Diane.  She didn't have to spell it out either.  i shouldn't expect to be exempt from having my period just because i was seeing Jake, now or in the future.   It had nothing to do with my miscalculating.

i know i'm getting ahead of myself, probably way ahead.  But, if things work out with Jake and we do get together, i'm either going to have to make excuses during "my time of the month", or i'm going to have more explaining to do.

i feel a little better today.  i went to the gym early and am back at home getting ready to do some ironing.  After my shower i'm going to wear something nice to do the housework.   Maybe something different like some tight ladies jeans and heels.  i may even put on a little bit of makeup.  Just because a girl is having her period doesn't mean she can't look pretty.

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Some Deep Sissy Feelings

i feel very feminine today.  More so than usual.  i've gotten all dressed up from head to toe just to do housework and some ironing.  That includes makeup, wig, some jewelry, etc.  The whole works.  After i get done with all my housework i'd love to throw caution to the wind and just go out and do some shopping while dressed this way.

i might change to something a little more casual and more in line with what an attractive middle aged woman might wear while running a few errands.  Maybe a nice pleated skirt, some heels, pantyhose, sweater, blonde wig, sunglasses and a matching purse.  I'd love to capture a few glances but not too many.  That would be way to risky. 

Shopping while dressed en femme poses another challenge at times for some cd's.  Unless your paying in cash, you have to use your credit and debit card which has your male name on it.  i don't really have that problem.  Although i spell my sissy name as "terri", my real name is Terry.  It's one of those unisex names that, when you have a lifestyle like mine, certainly has its advantages.

There's a reason i feel very femme today.  It's something that's been brewing for the past couple of months and i haven't discussed it here because i felt a little silly.  i just brought it up to Diane this weekend and only when we were discussing our summer plans.  She was asking me when Ken (my old 'boyfriend') was going to be around.  After telling Her when i thought he'd be in town, i came clean and told Her about the reason for my feeling so femme today.

i go to the gym nearly every day, and usually around the same time.  Naturally, i tend to see many of the same people who follow similar routines.  There's been one man who always seems to be there around the same time as me.  We've never really talked much, but just exchanged some hello's or waves, more out of courtesy than anything else.  Or so I thought. 

The last few weeks i've caught him looking over at me a few times and our eyes sort of met if you know what i mean.  The last couple of times i actually felt myself blushing.  He's a good looking man, tall (maybe about 6'3" and 210 lbs), muscular, clean cut, greying hair and probably in his late 50's or early 60's.   Last week,  i was away on business for a couple of days and when i returned on Friday he actually approached me in said "I missed you the last couple of days.  Nice to see you back.  I'm Jake."  He extended his hand and i did the same.  We shook hands, his grip so much stronger than mine. 

i introduced myself to him and we talked a little bit.  While i was doing so i couldn't help but notice him sort of checking me out, glancing at my smooth legs.  i used to wear long sweat pants or something similar because of my smooth legs but have since stopped doing that.  As he glanced, i could feel myself blushing again.  He was just finishing his workout and was getting ready to head out.  "I'm sure we'll see each other again.  Nice meeting you" he said with a wink.  "Same here.  Really nice to meet you" I told him.   After i said it, i worried that it sounded stupid.  i seemed to put emphasis on the word "really" and wondered what he thought.  i felt like he was almost "flirting" with me, but maybe i was misreading the whole thing.  i couldn't get Jake off my mind the rest of the day.

i ran into Jake again this morning at the gym.  i hadn't seen him earlier in the week and thought i would approach him and say hello and probably let him know that i noticed he wasn't around.  When i did, he smiled and said that he and his wife were out of town for a couple of days to attend a funeral but was back to his regular routine.  Then, he surprised me by asking if i were going to be around tomorrow and if i'd like to get a coffee after the workout!   "Sure, that would be great" i told him.  We agreed to meet at the gym tomorrow at our regular time and head out for coffee after.

So right now, my mind is on overdrive.  i can't be misreading this thing can i?  Even if i'm not, and Jake is bi and attracted to me, i'm scared to break the ice about my fem side.  Some men are totally turned off by things like that.  i certainly have to be careful and tread carefully here.  i'm nervous as can be, but excited at the same time.  No wonder i feel so girly today!

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Being a Good Wife

We're having three other couples over for a dinner party tomorrow night.  One of them is Diane's boss at work, Ron and his wife Aliia.  The others are friends of ours with one of the couples already having met Ron and Alicia.  It's an important dinner for Diane.  Her boss has been somewhat of a mentor to her and Diane is on the short list to replace him when he retires next year. 

In preparation for tomorrow night, I've been busy all day here at home as well as running errands to get things done and pick up what we need for dinner.  As I go about my duties today dressed totally in feminine garb while at home, including my very frilly apron, I realize just how comfortable and happy I am when I do wife-like things.

I changed to go out and pick up the groceries for tomorrow night, but quickly got back into my preferred attire when I got back home.  Tomorrow night, I obviously won't be dressed while our guests are here and I'm certain Diane won't be making any inappropriate comments and ordering me around like the submissive sissy that I am.  However, I'll be helping her as much as possible, even taking primary responsibility for preparing the dinner.  Our friends know I enjoy cooking and am quite good at it, so that won't be anything unusual for them to see.

If society were more accepting, I wouldn't hesitate to don my best apron and show exactly what my role is in our marriage.   It's disappointing but understandable that I can't do that.  Diane has other ways to help fulfill my desires.

She called me just a little while ago and asked "How's my little wife doing?  Staying busy?"

I listed everything that I had done and told her what I had left to do.  She also added a couple of items to my list.

"You've been a busy girl" she said, "I hope you're not too tired when I get home or have a headache.  I'm going to want to fuck you.  You deserve it."

I love being her sissy.

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Insight into my Feminine Feelings

Somewhat of a short post today.  I have some errands to run in town and a couple routine Dr's appointments.  Since I've been living as Diane's wife I find myself being much more organized when it comes to tasks, appointments, routines, etc.  I've also taken much of the responsibility for things around the household that Diane used to do.  It's worked out really well and she's admitted that I am doing a far better job than she used to. 

If you have a moment I'd urge you to read a comment I left yesterday in response to "HG" a frequent commenter on this blog.  In the past, HG certainly has stirred up a little controversy with his comments.  However, I do believe those of us who were upset with his comments were misjudging his intentions.   The comment HG left to yesterday's post,The Verbal Aspect of Sex, is worth reading.

I don't really write often about the inner struggles I've had with my increasing desire to be feminine since an early age and how that evolved into the relationship I have with Diane.  It hasn't always been easy but we've worked it out because of the love we have for each other.  The comment I left in response to HG provides you with some insight into my feelings. 

Have to get going.  It's a busy day.  I still have to go to the gym to work on firming up my girlish bottom :)  There's also a Zumba class that takes place at the gym every Monday, Wednesday and Friday mornings.  I've peeked in and it's nearly always made up entirely of women.  Once and a great while there's a guy there with his wife, but for the most part, it's all women.  It looks like it's a pretty good workout and some of the women are quite attractive.  I think I'm going to give it a try one day this week and see how it goes. 

Of course, I'd love feeling like "one of the girls!"

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A Little Extra

Remember the old philosophy question "If a tree falls in the middle of the woods and there's no one around to hear it, does it still make any noise?"  How much time was wasted discussing that one?

I thought of that yesterday while home alone doing housework, laundry, etc.  I dress femme at home all the time but most of the time when I'm here alone I'm not all decked out or dolled-up.  Today I just felt like looking very pretty and maybe a bit overly feminine.  I put some makeup on and some very pretty pink lipstick, even if I was going to be just doing the laundry and some ironing.

There was no one here to see me, but it still felt nice.  That tree that falls in the forest may not make any noise if there's no one around to hear it.  With femininity it's very different.  You can enjoy it all by yourself.

On another note, my daily email from Groupon was a pleasant surprise this morning.  The "60% off Parisian-Inspired Lingerie" certainly caught my eye.  I visited the company's website and immediately took advantage of the offer and bought two $40 certificates, each worth $100 in lingerie.  What a deal.   I've also added a link to the French Lingerie Outlet  in my "Let's Go Shopping" section.  I'm one happy sissy today!

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A Sissy Valentine's Day

You always hear that it's better to give than to receive.  Granted, there much satisfaction to be had out of giving something to someone, either a gift, one's time, etc. and see them so happy.  However, I think Valentine's Day for sissy is an exception to that old adage.  I used to enjoy buying things for Diane on Valentine's Day, sexy lingerie, chocolates, flowers, etc.  But as I became more feminine, submissive and took the role of her wife, the tables have been turned in so many ways.

I had just returned from the grocery store this morning to pick up some things for a special Valentine's Day dinner I'm going to make for Diane tonight.  I love to cook and have become very good at it, so whipping up a great gourmet dinner is always fun.  Besides, the restaurants are so crowded on a night like this.  Anyway, after putting things away I got changed into full femme attire when the doorbell rang!  I wasn't about to answer it this way but peeked out the window to see a delivery truck from a local flower shop!

I waited until he left before I opened the front door to find a dozen red roses in a beautiful vase, with a card addressed to me.  In my femme name!  I opened the card to find a note that said:  "Happy Valentine's Day to my lovely wife.  Be home by 5.  Dinner at 7.  Love, D"  My heart skipped a beat.  Receiving flowers is such a feminine and girly thing.  I keep walking over to them and smelling them.   I've had flowers sent to her office today as well, and I do have a special gift for her tonight. 

I can't wait for Diane to get home.  I want to look as beautiful as I can for her.  I also hope I'm on the "receiving end" once again! 

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Feminine Feelings & Desires

My feminine feelings and desires go well beyond my crossdressing urges.  Diane knows about my bisexuality as I admitted my desire to be with another man many years ago, even before I was with my first man.  My admission came about for a couple of reasons.  I wanted to be open and honest with her and most importantly, she would often tease me about it in some way when I was dressed or when I was playing the female role in our sex play. 

Once I told her, she asked me if I felt better about telling her.  I told her I was glad I did and hoped that it wouldn't change her love for me.  She reassured me that it wouldn't but also said that she "kind of"knew I had those urges all along.  She said she could tell just by the way I reacted to things she said and how she acted when she took the dominant and aggressive role with me, and how much I enjoyed strap-on play, particularly sucking on her make believe cock before she made love to me.

The discussion led to some "ground rules" about my playing with other men (and there haven't been many.  The rules were pretty simple.  I could only play with married men and there could be no anal sex.  We also agreed that like myself, they would have a high need for discretion, cleanliness and safety.  While she never met them, I would have to get her "approval" before meeting them, giving her whatever details I had about them.  So far it's worked very well even though I haven't been with a man in nearly a year.  The last man I had "an affair" with retired and moved away.  I'm picky, and haven't found anyone since.

This brings me to one of the moods I'm in today.  I feel overly feminine.  I got all dressed today with wig, makeup, heels, etc.  All day, I was craving cock.  I wanted to be on my knees in front of a man.  I wanted to look up into his eyes and beg for his cock.  I wanted him to make me beg.  I wanted him to tease me with his cock, slap my face with it, run his cock's head over my lips, over my eyes, nose and entire face.  When he finally let me put his cock into my mouth, I wanted him to fuck my face hard, make me gag, see the saliva dribble down my chin, call me names and shove his cock deep down my throat.

When he was ready and had fucked my face enough, I wanted him to splatter his cum all over my face and into my mouth.  I wanted to look up at him with my face covered with his juices, marked like his sissy bitch.  He might even scoop up the cum with his fingers and feed it to me. 

I would be there for his satisfaction.  There would be no sexual release for me, but my feminine needs and desires would have been met. 

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