2/7/12

Feminine Feelings & Desires

My feminine feelings and desires go well beyond my crossdressing urges.  Diane knows about my bisexuality as I admitted my desire to be with another man many years ago, even before I was with my first man.  My admission came about for a couple of reasons.  I wanted to be open and honest with her and most importantly, she would often tease me about it in some way when I was dressed or when I was playing the female role in our sex play. 

Once I told her, she asked me if I felt better about telling her.  I told her I was glad I did and hoped that it wouldn't change her love for me.  She reassured me that it wouldn't but also said that she "kind of"knew I had those urges all along.  She said she could tell just by the way I reacted to things she said and how she acted when she took the dominant and aggressive role with me, and how much I enjoyed strap-on play, particularly sucking on her make believe cock before she made love to me.

The discussion led to some "ground rules" about my playing with other men (and there haven't been many.  The rules were pretty simple.  I could only play with married men and there could be no anal sex.  We also agreed that like myself, they would have a high need for discretion, cleanliness and safety.  While she never met them, I would have to get her "approval" before meeting them, giving her whatever details I had about them.  So far it's worked very well even though I haven't been with a man in nearly a year.  The last man I had "an affair" with retired and moved away.  I'm picky, and haven't found anyone since.

This brings me to one of the moods I'm in today.  I feel overly feminine.  I got all dressed today with wig, makeup, heels, etc.  All day, I was craving cock.  I wanted to be on my knees in front of a man.  I wanted to look up into his eyes and beg for his cock.  I wanted him to make me beg.  I wanted him to tease me with his cock, slap my face with it, run his cock's head over my lips, over my eyes, nose and entire face.  When he finally let me put his cock into my mouth, I wanted him to fuck my face hard, make me gag, see the saliva dribble down my chin, call me names and shove his cock deep down my throat.

When he was ready and had fucked my face enough, I wanted him to splatter his cum all over my face and into my mouth.  I wanted to look up at him with my face covered with his juices, marked like his sissy bitch.  He might even scoop up the cum with his fingers and feed it to me. 

I would be there for his satisfaction.  There would be no sexual release for me, but my feminine needs and desires would have been met.