So "the cat's out of the bag", or at least part of it is when it comes to knowing that Diane's affair with Paul is not quite of the plain old vanilla variety. i've hinted at it before here but for rather strange and personal reasons never felt quite comfortable sharing such details with my readers. Yes, it is embarrassing to me.
i guess most cuckolds suffer some form of humiliation ranging from the mild to the extreme. Others are probably not humiliated at all by it and may not even be submissive in how they approach it. The embarrassment and humiliation comes with being a submissive and no doubt, much of it is desired and fantasized about. Strange, but even though we crave the humiliation when it does happen, it's hard to deal with and causes embarrassment.
Such was the case yesterday after Diane's surprise post. When She got home it led to an interesting discussion and culminated with some very intimate submission on my part where i spent a very long time pleasing Her orally in every conceivable way my lips, mouth and tongue could function. Her teasing about how much i enjoy the embarrassment added to the "fun."
Being a feminized sissy cuckold can be embarrassing enough, but when your Wife and Domme willingly submits to another man, an "Alpha" male as Diane calls Paul, it adds to the humiliation.
During last night's discussion i told Diane that i never realized that Her desire to be submissive to a man was so great. Her response was quite enlightening. She told me She never realized it was such a burning desire either until She met Paul and then added "as a submissive, how could you realize it? you've always seen me or wanted to see me as your Domme, and there's no way you could even act the part."
i'm paraphrasing Her answer, but that was the gist of it. She's correct. i've never viewed Her as submissive, least of all being submissive to me. And even if i could act the part of a Dominant, how could She even get into the role of being my submissive? Even if it was just a game, i doubt very much after how much She's dominated me, it could even arouse Her.
Diane should be here with Paul in about an hour. Their meeting is definitely on. i'd be shocked if there was any type of cancellation or even a delay.
i'm going to be taking out a black short nightie for Her to wear for Paul and laying it out on our bed. It's what he wants Her to wear. She's also chosen a dress for me to wear and wants me in high heels the whole time Paul is in the house. She was quite detailed in how She wanted me to dress.
Her specificity had me quite concerned and i had to ask Her if She had anything planned. i explained that i know She's trying to reveal our lifestyle to Paul at the right time, but i begged Her that when the time comes She lets me know what's going on and doesn't pull any surprises.
"Don't worry I wouldn't do that" She told me before giving me a kiss. Then She joked that my "coming out" party wouldn't happen this afternoon. "A special event like that would need plenty of planning anyway. I want you in heels this afternoon because I'll probably be wearing some black heels too. Paul loves me in heels."
i love Her sense of humor and i love Her deeply, but the thought of Diane in our bed wearing some beautiful heels while She's with Her lover Paul does cause me to turn red a bit :)