The Sissy Cuckold Perspective

Viewed through the eyes of a straight alpha male (the type of man boys who grew up in my generation were always expected to emulate) the beautiful woman on the right ignites feelings of lust and more.  The alpha male wants her badly.  He wants to take her and do naughty things to her.  He wants to make love to her, have intercourse with her and hear her screaming his name, begging for him to enter her.

The picture generates feelings of lust in the sissy cuckold as well.  However, it's lust of a very different kind and sometimes very complex.  There's the jealous kind of lust where if you're like me,
you want to be her.  You want to be this gorgeous piece of eye candy for your man or, any man who might happen to see you dressed this way.  Like her, you want to feel the lust he has for you and fantasize what he wants to do to you!

There's also the jealousy of wanting to have the gorgeous lingerie she's wearing.  The alpha male is turned on by the woman, the sissy is turned on more by what she's wearing.

If you're a cuckold, there's often other things that come to mind when seeing this picture.  The cuckold may think of his wife dressing this way especially for her lover.  She's wearing the finest and sexiest lingerie for him.  You relate with her femininity, her desire to be his eye candy, just like you want to be.   In many ways, you want to be in her shoes with a man of your own. 

This post was courtesy of a very beautiful woman i saw today while having lunch at an outdoor cafe.  She was dressed elegantly with a rather short summery skirt and heels.  i wanted to wear what She was wearing.  Moments later, her lunch date arrived and she greeted him with a kiss.  They looked like lovers instead of a regular couple, even though i noticed a wedding ring on both of their hands.  Who knows, maybe she was cuckolding her husband with this very handsome man. 

That was my perspective anyway, seen through the eyes of a married sissy cuckold.

love,

sissy terri

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Feeling Like a Cuckold

Just before we left for vacation, the consulting work i had been doing came to an end.  My contract with the company i was consulting with expired and much to their surprise i told them i wasn't interested in renewing it.  i agreed to stay on but only on an emergency type basis.  Since then i've done a few small projects but eventually, it will be all over with.

The extra money was good and will pay for our daughter's wedding, but the travel and time commitment and the "interference" it brought to our lifestyle caused a few minor problems.  First, Diane wants a full-time submissive wife.  The increasing dominance She's been displaying that i wrote about in my last post doesn't fit with the many distractions the consulting job created.  "Interference" is what She called it.

The other thing is that it was also difficult for me to weave in and out of these two separate and distinct worlds.  At home, with the exception of when our daughters or other guests visit (other than Diane's best friend Linda), i'm a submissive housewife or sissy to Diane - all the time.  It's who i am now.  When i was working and traveling from home, i would find myself wanting to be back and being myself, not the authoritative expert in my field like i was supposed to be on the job.  It's hard to explain but i hope you understand. 

Last night Diane got a call from Paul, her new romantic interest.  It surprised me a little bit because as far as i knew they'd only had some casual flirtations with one another at work.  He'd never called her before so something had to have happened to prompt this phone call.  She told me later that they had run into each other that afternoon and had coffee in one of the hospital cafeterias.  "There was the usual flirting" Diane said "but I decided to cut to the chase."  Typical Diane.  Now, next week's lunch date might be more than just ceasar salads and ice tea.

The call came pretty late and not long after it was time for bed.  Diane was laying in bed reading when i came out of the bathroom wearing a short pink nighty.  She usually doesn't comment about what i'm wearing to bed because it's become so routine, but last night She gave me an approving look and told me how cute i looked.  "How about a nice licking" She asked me.  There wasn't a dominant tone to her request, but it wasn't anything i could refuse, not that i wanted to.

As i settled between her thighs and began to kiss her privates with my usual devotion, i noticed that She was already quite aroused.  No doubt the call from Paul had caused this.  It caused an erotic stirring within me, knowing that the juices of arousal that i was tasting from my Wife's pussy had been caused by another man.  Paul hasn't even made love to Diane yet, and i already felt like his cuckold. 

love,

sissy terri

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Back to my sissy life

i had to spend the better part of the last two weeks helping out a member of our extended family who took sick. i accompanied Diane to Her conference but had to leave early to deal with this emergency.  Fortunately, the family member is doing better and on their way to recovery.  A change in lifestyle is going to be necessary (diet, more exercise, etc....not the kinky lifestyle) which is a challenge for many people.

While i was gone, i realized how much i missed the lifestyle Diane and i have together.  i wasn't able to express my submission to Her and live as Her submissive wife all the time like i do at home.  i would tell Her that every day when we talked, texted, or emailed each other.  It was so heartwarming to hear Diane tell me that She missed it also.  "I love what we have, and having you as my wife" She told me.  i realized how lucky i am in many ways.

Diane on the other hand hasn't been as lucky when it comes to Her relationship with Brian.  They got together last week while I was gone and Brian broke the news to Her that his company was sending him on an assignment back east for six months.  The news, combined with Diane's increasing frustration with Brian's inability to meet with her often enough, seems to spell the beginning of a demise in their relationship. 

Diane's also been a little frustrated with Brian's anxiety or reluctance to "get the whole cuckolding concept."  She feels that despite the progress She made with that, there was always a feeling that Brian wasn't totally comfortable with it.  They're likely still going to see each other when it's possible, but this most recent news is causing Diane to think about looking elsewhere.  She realizes that as much as She enjoyed the sex with Brian, it was probably never going to develop to the point She wanted it to.

i've reflected on all of this and realized that it leaves me as a passive and obedient observer as Diane contemplates what She's going to do.  She wants to have a lover, but it has to be the right one.  Where to find this Mr. Right is the million dollar question.

In the meantime, i am doing my best to be a good submissive wife for Her.  She loves me, and assures me that things will work out.  "I'm very patient" She told me last night, "and I still have you to satisfy me whenever i want, just not like a real man."

With that, i'm back to my sissy life and doing whatever i can to please my lovely Wife Diane. 

love,

sissy terri

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Being a Submissive Wife

Diane's not going to be seeing Brian this week and I'm also not going to be seeing Jake.  Her week is a pretty busy one while mine is mostly focused on my housekeeping duties.  i only have a few hours of consulting work to wrap up but other than that, my time will be spent trying my best to be a good housewife for Her.

During the weeks when Diane isn't that busy and She's not able to see Brian, She seems bothered by it.  i've asked Her if She misses him many times and each time Her answer is the same:  "I miss the sex" She says.  The last time i asked Her this i followed up with a question of my own.  "Do you just miss the sex?  Don't you like his company or companionship?" i asked Her.

i was a little surprised by Her answer.  Despite Her many reassurances since She began seeing Brian that She was doing this strictly to fulfill her carnal needs, i couldn't help but think that She'd develop some level of emotional attachment to him.  She didn't answer my question immediately, instead pausing a little before telling me that yes, she did like Brian's company but nothing more than that.  "He's a nice guy and all, handsome, smart, sexy, but like I said, I like the sex." 

Maybe it's the biases i carry with me.  i always found it hard to believe that a woman could get sexually involved with a man without developing some form of emotional attachment.   i have no doubt that Diane likes being with Brian and that the sex they have is something they both seem to enjoy.  They talk on the phone often and when they do, it's obvious She's liking it.  i'm amazed at how She can remain so emotionally detached. 

As for me, i think i'm going through one of those moods that Jake talked about; periods where his bisexual yearnings aren't that strong.  i'm feeling the same way.  We still email each other regularly and he's out of town this week which is just as well.  i'm currently very content just being Diane's submissive wife. 

She'll be home soon and i'll greet Her in one of my frilly aprons.  Whatever happens after that is all up to Her.  i'd be just as content massaging Her feet as She relaxes on Her favorite chair as i would submitting to Her in the bedroom.  i might have my own desires and preferences, but Hers come first. 

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Reflections on Cuckolding

My absence from blogging over the weekend wasn't just the result of being a little busy.  There was time to blog and i had even planned on doing it later on Friday afternoon.  The lack of a post until this afternoon was on Diane's insistence that i take appropriate time to reflect on the experience and gather my thoughts.  She also wanted me to step away from the blog this weekend and spend more time this weekend doing more feminine things with Her.

i was allowed to spend a little time posting images on my tumblr site, something that i find relaxing, enjoyable and an exercise that helps me reflect the way She wants me to.  But my weekend of "more feminine" things also included a ban on TV sports.  How things have changed.  It wasn't long ago that this particular weekend, when the final eight NFL teams were facing off, was one that i would look forward to with great anticipation.  Hardly ever did anything get in the way of my seeing those games in their entirety.  This weekend i didn't see any of them.  And Diane made sure to let me know that Brian watched them all.

However, i'm very happy with how the weekend went.  i had time to think about what happened last Wednesday and Thursday nights and spent a considerable amount of time discussing it with Diane.  There were several very intimate and personal conversations and admissions.  Diane shared that Brian was indeed nervous about how things would go but when it was all over, he admitted that he really had a good time.  "He feels very comfortable doing it again" She said, and told me he was afraid I might be scared off or unwilling to continue.  "Are you?" She asked me.

That was a difficult question to answer.  A very difficult one.  It involves so many things, so many feelings, emotions, hangups, etc.  Until Wednesday night, no one had really seen me dressed en femme except for Diane and Jake.  My relationship with Diane makes being dressed in Her presence feel natural.  It just feels right.  And with Jake, it was much the same way.  My dressing and being femme was a very big part of our relationship.

Doing so in front of Brian was intimidating and i felt uneasy.  The reason is that i sometimes think i look ridiculous dressed as a woman.  Diane simply says "that's a ridiculous notion.  You look lovely."  i'm in good shape, slim and smooth with no facial hair.  i trim my eyebrows and keep myself meticulously groomed.  Yet i still feel awkward.  And dressing in front of my wife's lover makes me feel so self-conscious.

We spent much of the time i tried answering Diane's question discussing this very topic.  Eventually, Diane wants me in full feminine attire when Brian is here, much like i would be if it were just the two of us.  She wants me to get over this hangup and move forward.  i promised Her i would do my best.

The most difficult moment on Thursday night took place when i was called into the bedroom after their first lovemaking session.  In many ways it was my "big test."  When i got there, Brian was in the bathroom and Diane told me to strip down to my bra and panties.  She lay on the bed, naked, on her side looking at me but facing the side of the bed where Brian had obviously just left.  My heart was beating and Diane simply told me to relax but not to waste any time.  i fumbled with the blouse but got it off and slid off my slacks and the pantyhose.

"Come here" She said.  As i approached, Diane laid back and spread her legs.  She took me by the hand and pulled me towards Her.  "Clean me" was all She said.  Almost fearful that Brian would come into the bedroom and we would make eye contact, i buried myself between Her legs.  It seemed like all i could taste was Brian.  Then i heard him come in the room.

Diane asked him to lay beside Her as i licked.  She told him to relax and i felt him lay beside Her.  All the time She was holding my head in place.  The fact that i was there in my bra and panties in front of Brian was the most embarrassing moment of my lifetime.  Diane and Brian were kissing while i licked Her.  i wondered if She even enjoyed what i was doing.  They talked as if i wasn't even there i thought.  Eventually though, her arousal was evident and even though it took longer than it usually does, Diane had a wonderful orgasm.

The time after the orgasm was even more difficult and uncomfortable.  i eventually had to get up and face Brian in some way.  "That was absolutely wonderful" Diane said, breaking the ice.  "Did you enjoy it?" She asked me.  "Yes, i did" i told Her, not even hesitating.  It wasn't a lie.  "I can tell" She teased.  Even as i got up and walked away, my erection was noticeable.

Sensing my discomfort, Diane dismissed me, once again saying thank you and telling me I could go back downstairs.  They made love love late into the evening.

i passed the first big test i suppose, but i wonder how difficult the future visits from Brian will be.  i hope they get easier.  i'm still very anxious.  

Yesterday, we also did some shopping for lingerie on line.  We had gone shopping in the afternoon but Diane didn't see anything she liked.  We each bought an identical bra and panty set.  "I want to surprise Brian next time he's here.  I think it will be cute when he sees us in matching bras and panties" She told me. 

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The Woman Inside

This year we traveled to celebrate New Year's with family.  We're still away and won't be back home until this weekend.  Diane's practice is closed and i don't have any consulting work lined up until mid-January so there is no rush to get back.  At least for me there isn't.  Diane misses the sex She has with Brian and they've talked a few times while we've been here.

Traveling and staying with family hasn't absolved me from being Diane's submissive "wife."  i'm still required to wear feminine undergarments all the time and i'm thankful for that.  Wearing male underwear just doesn't feel natural anymore.  Diane's insistence that i wear at least three items of female clothing all the time is not as difficult to follow.   Panties, hosiery of some sort and sports bras are pretty easy to conceal. 

Even though i'm used to wearing these things (and more) on a regular basis they still serve to remind me of my femininity and "the woman inside" of me.  The clothing may only be underneath my male clothes, but the femininity is deep inside. 

Staying with family makes it a little more difficult to blog but i hope I can post at least one more time before we leave.   i've continued to log on to tumblr (usually late at night or when i can) and posted some things i consider to be pretty and feminine.  i hope you enjoy my blog there as well. 

Happy New Year to everyone.  i'm anxious about 2013, wondering how my next step in the cuckolding process is going to go.  The anxiety is lessened by Diane's continued reassurances and Her expressions of love.  That's why i'm hopeful that 2013 will be a very good year.  i hope it is for all of you as well!

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A Housewife's Holiday Duties

Holidays can be fun but it seems like every year we find ourselves rushing around at the last minute, despite our earlier promises to avoid all the commercialism and craziness. 

This year, it's been my job to coordinate everything to do with the holidays.  This includes most all of the shopping for gifts, responding to party invitations, decorating the house and getting ready for the party we are hosting here at our home tonight.  "It's what stay at home housewives do" Diane insists.

The fact that She's entrusted me with all this work makes me feel very special in some ways.  It's quite a bit of work and She's checked in with me regularly on my progress.  I've only had to return and exchange a few of the gifts I bought and so far, Diane's been quite pleased with what i've accomplished. 

Tonight's the big event though.  We'll have about 50 people attending the party.  Some of our friends and some of Diane's co-workers.  One of the guests will be Her friend Linda.  Linda knows about Diane and Brian and just recently, Diane's shared more information about our lifestyle with Her.  Diane said Linda suspected all along that i was submissive and i think She's right.  It's still difficult for that "secret" to be out. 

i'm happy to be blogging again but finding it a little more difficult to share all the emotions i feel and the anxiety over what's around the corner with Brian.  Fantasies are crafted in one's mind over a long period of time and conveniently never deal with realities.  i'll be facing those realities soon and it's difficult.

For now, i'm enjoying being me:  A married sissy, submissive to my Wife and happy.  i hope Her happiness will be enough to keep me happy in the coming months. 

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A Sissy's Slow Week

i didn't get to see Jake this week which was very disappointing.  i had to travel on Tuesday and Wednesday which i didn't think would matter because we were supposed to get together Thursday, but he cancelled.  i also haven't heard from him since which makes it even a little harder to deal with.  i get a little paranoid that something like this could mean that he's losing interest.

When i'm with Jake, there's never any indication that there's a loss of interest, but i keep remembering something that he told me when we first me.  i'm paraphrasing here but what he said was that his bisexual urges came in waves of interest.  They'd peak and he'd become incredibly horny and wanting nothing more than having a man suck his cock and those peaks would be followed by valleys where he wasn't that interested.  i used to be somewhat like that, but now i want it on a more regular basis.  i'm worried that Jake is headed into one of those valleys right now.  i hope not.

Conveniently while i was away, Diane saw Brian here in our home on Tuesday night.  They made love in our bed, and i had to change the sheets when i got home.  Diane left me a note that said "Be a good girl and change the sheets when you get in.  Love, D."  The not was strategically placed near what was clearly a visible spot of their juices on the sheet.

Part of me was glad i was away while their lovemaking took place, but there's still that part of me that wants to be there, my submissive sissy self on full display in front of my wife's lover Brian.

While Diane's teasing of my being her cuckold is relatively routine, it's also taken a different turn.  She's now saying things to me that I'm not sure She's shared with Brian and when i ask Her, i don't always get a straight answer.  She's told him about Her dominance over me, but i'm not sure to what extent.  Here's an example - Last night at dinner She said that when She told Brian that i'd be changing the sheets on the bed when i got home, he got a real kick out of it!  When i asked Her if She really told him that, she just giggled and refused to answer directly.  "You'll just have to wonder and maybe you'll find out soon enough" was all She said.

Later, She got a call from Brian on Her cell phone and moments later, went to sit outside on the patio to finish Her discussion.  That was very unusual.  They talked for nearly a half hour.

Not long after Her phone call, i was made to lick Her to an orgasm.  It wasn't a long licking.  She was already aroused and wet when i began to worship Her.  It must have been an exciting phone call.    When She was pleased, i was allowed to sissy masturbate myself.  That didn't take long either!

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Deeper Cuckolding

A week between posts is a long time for me.  The combination of family commitments, things to do and my own difficulty in mentally processing everything i'd like to write about are the primary causes for the delay.  i'm just going to give it my best shot.

It's been about seven months since Diane reunited with Brian at a wedding we attended.  So much has happened since then.  Most of what's happened I know about, but not what Diane revealed to me this weekend.

As She was going through some office correspondence on Saturday morning and making notes, She nonchalantly said "Well, it looks as if you won't be buying me condoms anymore."  It was a confusing statement and my initial thought was that She and Brian had somehow broken up and She wouldn't be seeing him again.   Then realizing that if that had happened, i would have more than likely noticed a change in Her moods, i began to think a little differently.

Awkwardly, i asked Her what She meant.  Again, it was something that came out sounding stupid.

"You know how careful I am" She said.  "I've had extensive blood work done for both of us.  Brian is clean as a whistle.  I knew I was free of anything, but in all fairness, wanted to provide him with the same level of comfort."

i didn't know what to say and could feel myself blushing, but not in a good way.  i felt nervous, uneasy, unsure and emotional.  i stayed quiet and continued doing what i was doing.   The silence in the room was deafening.

"Cat got your tongue?" Diane asked me.  "Don't you have anything to say?"

Again i hesitated and said "i'm not sure what to say.  i want you to be happy and i'm sure you've thought this through."

"Of course I have" She told me, "But, I want you to be happy also.  I think you'll enjoy it as well, don't you?"

All of these questions that point out my submissiveness and sissy cuckold status are difficult to answer.  i know the answers but the words are difficult to say.  Speaking them in some ways is an admission of sorts, an admission of many things.

"i don't know.  If it makes You happy, i'll enjoy that" i told Her.

"Well, we're going to find out this week when Brian comes over for a few hours.  When I call you to come home, there will be a little something waiting for you between my legs" She said.

Brian comes over tonight.  i'm going to find ways to keep myself busy while waiting for Diane to call.  i wish i could be with Jake but that's not a possibility.  i'm very anxious about the whole thing and i'm probably making a mountain out of a molehill.  After all, i'm going to be doing what a countless number of other cuckolds do, and i bet many of them enjoy it. 

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A Cuckold Night

Tonight's a cuckold night.  I'm home alone and Diane is spending the night with Brian and a rather upscale hotel downtown.  She's been primping for it all week; purchasing new lingerie, getting a pedicure and manicure at the spa, and overall just being obsessed with seeing Brian tonight.

i traveled a bit this week on business and this part-time job is becoming a grind for both me and Diane.  She wants me to quit and has given me an ultimatum.  Either my hours reduce dramatically or i'll be forced to resign.  "Your housewife duties are suffering and I'm not going to put up with it" She said.  i understand our contract and She's right.  "Don't you miss being a full time housewife?" She said laughingly.

Her teasing might be the same but it seems a little more pointed lately.  Maybe i'm just being overly sensitive.  She's also becoming more dominant and in some ways, i feel She's being a little less "careful" about Her affair with Brian.  Meeting him at the hotel tonight is an example of what I mean.

Before She left this morning She reminded me that i was due to start my period today.  The box of tampons and a pad were left on the vanity for me to use.  Maybe that's why i'm feeling overly sensitive.

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Cuckolding Indifference

Diane had Brian over one night this week while i was out of town.  He didn't spend the night even though She wanted him to.  He needed to get back to his hotel room at a decent hour just in case his wife were to call him.  Even though like most people they talk on his cell phone when he's traveling, he doesn't want to take the chance that she would try to reach him at the hotel.  i can understand that.  Unlike Diane's situation where She has no such concerns about my finding out, Brian's is much different. 

This "open cuckolding" makes Her lifestyle much easier, and as Her relationship with Brian becomes stronger and more intimate, She enjoys flaunting it in front of me.  She's told Brian he can call Her on Her cell phone any time he wants.  She's told him if She can't talk, She'll just make believe it is someone from work and cut the conversation short.  Keep in mind, that Brian thinks Diane is keeping their affair secret from me.  Instead, i know everything Diane wants me to know about it. 

When Brian calls, rarely does She tell him that She's unable to talk, even if i am right next to Her.  Within a matter of seconds they're totally engrossed in what's usually a pretty erotic conversation, either talking about past or upcoming trysts of theirs.  Her indifference to my presence is sometimes difficult to accept.  There have been a few times where i thing She's actually told him to call at specific times that might even be more humiliating for me.

That seemed to happen last night when, only a few minutes after She told me to get down to just my bra and panties and get ready to please Her, Her cell phone rang.  She knew it was Brian and simply answered "Great timing!" She explained to Brian that She was alone for a little while and was just getting ready to change into something more comfortable.  He must have urged Her to do so, and She too was down to Her bra and panties. 

i stayed kneeling in front of the loveseat where She was sitting and their conversation got pretty steamy.   She then asked him to hold on for a minute and after She put Her hand over the phone, told me to go stand in the corner.  i felt humiliated and wanted to just walk out of the room.  i almost did.

Instead, i obeyed and stood in the corner while She talked with Brian.  i tried to block their conversation out but couldn't.  Like an inferior cuckold, i got hard in my panties.  The humiliation kept turning me on. 

When their conversation was over (cut short because Brian had to go), i was called back to kneel in front of Diane and pleasure Her.  i wasn't there long.  She came very quickly.  She also let me play with myself sissy style while holding Her panties.  "I bet Brian would have loved to know my sissy cuckold was standing in the corner while we were talking" She said.  That made me cum instantly. 

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A Complete Cuckold?

i had to take somewhat of an unexpected business trip this week and haven't been able to post anything on the blog.  i procrastinated in doing so last weekend and then when i found out i had to travel late Sunday, i just ran out of time.  In fact, i'm still away from home and won't be back until tomorrow night. 

There was a time when traveling alone was something i looked forward to because of the opportunity it gave me to fully express my feminine self.  i would bring some lingerie with me, do some shopping and several times i even visited a woman who provided makeovers for crossdressers.  There was no sex involved, but just an entire makeover from head to toe that included makeup, a wig, and just about any type of clothing you could think of.  i used to love my trips to Chicago!

For the most part, that thrill is gone because i have the opportunity to express my feminine self both at home and with Jake.  At home, my role as Diane's wife couldn't be any clearer.  Not only am i expected to do all the things a real wife would do, She goes out of Her way to make sure i know that i'm the wife and She wears the pants in the family.  It's become more pronounced since She and Brian have been seeing each other.

My Friday date with Jake was really nice.  i got to get dressed fully for him at his house despite my nervousness.   It was silly because there was no way anyone was going to be around.  It was the first time i wore a dress, hose, heels and a wig for him.  It felt so awesome to be held by him and have him cup my ass as he brought me close to him.  It wasn't the first time we kissed, but it was the best by far.  i pleasured him several times and after the last time, he "allowed" me to play with myself (in sissy fashion of course) and i came while i licked his balls one last time.  He also loved watching me lick up whatever cum spilled on to the kitchen floor!  i am beginning to really love his growing dominance.

Brian and Diane got together tonight, and i still haven't heard from Her yet.  She told me if i didn't hear from Her than Brian may be spending the night. 

i hate to admit it, but the fact that Diane has become submissive to another man seems to be a type of humiliation i crave.  In some ways, it seems to be a step towards making me a more complete cuckold.   But i also have a feeling there's even further to go. 

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"It's Only a Game"

My lack of posting the past few is a reflection of my mood.  It's been an emotional week for me.  Diane's meeting with Brian Monday night revealed something i'd suspect for awhile but wasn't really sure about.  Their relationship has turned a little kinky.  Kinky in that she enjoys submitting to him. 

That's been hard for me to deal with.  Never in our marriage has Diane ever exhibited or revealed any desire to be submissive.  It's always been the exact opposite.  Now, she's submitting to Brian.

i didn't find out exactly by accident either.  Diane does nothing by accident.  It's all planned.  The handcuffs were laying on the chair in our bedroom right next to her bra and panties.  She obviously wanted me to see them.

i can't say i was shocked, but confirming my suspicions hurt in a way.  And She could see it.

"Look, it's only a game" She said.  "Get over it."

i told her i was surprised because She never let on that it was something She enjoyed.  i wished She would have told me.  Then what She said has really stuck with me:  "How could I enjoy being submissive to someone who I knew couldn't be dominant.  It just would never feel right."

Later, i found myself in the same handcuffs Diane had worn earlier that night for Brian.  With my hands cuffed behind my back, i licked her pussy.  As i licked She told me that She had worn them while sucking his cock.  It didn't take me long to cum in my panties after She said that. 

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Sissies and Petticoats

Every sissy has their own favorite items of female clothing.  While most of us love all things feminine, there are just certain garments, colors or styles that simply make us swoon!

i can't say that i have an absolute "favorite" item because sometimes it depends on my mood and i get aroused by different things at different times.  One of my absolute favorites though, regardless of my mood is a pretty petticoat.  i don't get to dress in them often, but when i do the feeling is heavenly.  i have a couple of petticoats and each time i wear them in Diane's presence She'll make me twirl around and model it for Her.  That is so lovely!

i'm hoping to introduce my wearing of petticoats to Jake soon.  i hate to unload all of these fantasies on him right away for fear of scaring him away.  i think i'll be able to figure out how he'll feel about them soon and at the right time, bring it up.

One of my favorite petticoat sites is Petticoat Pond, which i have linked to in my "Of Interest to Sissies" blog list section.  Here are a few delicious selections from their Update Log:

 This one is called "Snow Bunny" and the model is in a rather seductive pose which is her feeble attempt at modesty.  She's hiding her bra but leaving her beautiful pink petti or tutu exposed.  Beautiful.

Here's something a little more vintage; a powder blue full petticoat on a lovely smiling model.  She's obviously happy to be wearing the petti and probably just getting ready to put her dress on and maybe head out to a square dance.  But no...not in those heels!

And last but not least, is there anything better than a petticoat as part of a sissy maid's ensemble?  Especially one where your panties can be seen?  You're right, there isn't!

It's off to the baseball game tonight while Diane hosts Brian at our house.  i keep wishing i was there, but realistically, not sure I could go through with it.

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Loving Her Sissy

Diane must have left out the tampons and pads last night before she went to bed.  They were on the vanity in the master bath when i got up this morning; a reminder that i was due to start my period today.  i had it on my calendar but Diane enjoys doing little things like that just to make sure i don't forget. 

i was getting ready to use the supplies She had put out when She told me to hold off until later this afternoon.  "Periods don't always start first thing in the morning" She said with a laugh.  i smiled at Her and put the things back on the vanity.

i'm also feeling femme today for a few other reasons.  As my role as Diane's submissive wife and cuckold becomes more ingrained in our lives each day, and as i continue to see Jake, the tone and content of many of our conversations with each other have also changed.  For instance, this morning while sipping on Her morning coffee and reading the Sunday newspaper Diane said "Isn't it funny how both our boyfriends are gone on vacation with their wives this week?"  I agreed that it was quite the coincidence.

Maybe i shouldn't be, but i was struck by the nonchalance with which She said that to me.  i thought about how possibly, even though i am still Her husband, She really doesn't look at me that way any more in the traditional sense.  She seems to view me more as Her submissive girlfriend and even treats me that way sexually.   Because of that, i'm finding myself needing more affirmation of Her love for me.  i'm a little more insecure than i was and it's not because of my cuckolding but more because of how i think She sees me. 

Late this morning we went to the gym together and after showering when we got home,  Diane told me it was time for some fun.  i love pleasing Her.  i don't think i'm that different than many submissives who get tremendous emotional satisfaction from pleasing their Dominant Wives.  Our own sexual gratification isn't that important to us.  That's how it is with me and Diane.  But today, She made sure i got satisfied as well. 

Once again, i took Her strap-on rather aggressively.  She enjoyed teasing and taunting me, telling me i'd better not cum until She gave me permission.  i'm glad She didn't wait to long to give me permission.  i came when She was deep inside of me.  It was a powerful orgasm for me.  But it wasn't the best part of the morning for me.  There were two things that were more important to me.

The first was when i provided her pleasure.  The other, and most important of all, was when She told me She loved me.

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Cuckolding Keepsakes

My business trip lasted a day longer than planned this week, so i didn't get home until pretty late last night.   Diane knew what time i'd be home, which flight i was on, its status, etc., so She was able to plan Her time with Brian right down to the minute if She wanted to.  Brian was in town this week and they got to hook up twice; Wednesday and Thursday nights. 

i suspected they would get together this week, but didn't know for sure until after i got home.  As is typical of Diane, She withheld the information from me, instead mentally teasing me by making me wonder if She was in our bed with Brian while i was away.  As it turns out, Brian was in our bed making love to Diane right around the time my flight landed. 

Diane was waiting for me when i got home.  Waiting to be serviced orally after what She called "two awesome fucks" with Brian.  It was just another way for Her to taunt me.  She was in her black satin robe and looked like a woman who had just been completely satisfied by a "real man."  Only she still wasn't totally satisfied.  In Her opinion, "cuckolding isn't complete until the sissy cleans the wife."

Even though Brian used a condom (i know because the used ones were still laying on some tissues on the nightstand), Diane insists there's still cleaning up to do.  "The tenderness of your soft tongue is so soothing after deep fucking with Brian" she tells me. 

As i lay between Her legs, licking Her well used pussy, She tells me how She and Brian may soon eliminate the condoms.  "You'd like that wouldn't you?" She asks, not expecting an answer since my lips are busy.  i get harder and She knows the thought excites me.  "I'd enjoy it too" She says, "knowing that you'll be able to taste my lover so intimately.  I've tasted him too you know.  Directly from the source."

Like any good submissive, i can tell when She's ready to cum.  She's stopped talking to me and soon She's in the throes of another orgasm, holding my head in place and telling me to "Suck and lick."  When it subsided, She even thanked me and told me to lie on my back.  i rolled over and felt a wet spot on the bed that I hadn't noticed before.  A wet spot from Diane's lovemaking with Brian.

i can feel the dampness of their juices on the middle of my back as Diane spreads Her gorgeous ass cheeks over my face.  i lick Her ass without being told.  She is facing my feet and can see how hard my little cock is as it juts out of the panties.  As i lick, she begins to toy with it softly, "sissy masturbation" or "milking" style.

"You know, Brian's mentioned several times how he'd like to fuck my ass" She tells me.  "I bet you'd like to clean that mess up wouldn't you?"

With those words, i couldn't help myself and made a mess, cumming on Diane's hand and in my panties.  She slid the panties off of me and cleaned up the mess with them.  She told me to keep licking Her.  "You just started for God's sake" She said.

When She had had enough, She got off of me and walked into the bathroom.  i couldn't help but notice that She left my cum filled panties on the nightstand, right next to the condoms filled with Brian's cum.  It's a cuckolding moment i'll ever forget.  i gazed at it in somewhat of a trance until Diane said "You don't have to change the bed tonight.  It's late.  Do it in the morning."  i slept on the damp spot.  It was on my side of the bed.

i did my housework this morning and changed the bed.  i'm now getting ready to have lunch then drive over to pick up Jake for our golf game this afternoon.   i'll be wearing pink panties just like he told me.  i guess i was born to take orders. 

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A Sissy Cuckold and Her Boyfriend

This is a real difficult blog post for me.  i'm struggling with what to say and how to say it for a couple of different reasons. 

i had my first real "date" with Jake yesterday.  By real, i mean that finally we had the opportunity to be intimate with each other.  Both of us were very nervous, even though there was no chance that Diane would come home.  In fact, She told me early Friday morning that She would be out of town for most of the day at a meeting.  This seemed to make Jake a little more comfortable but it was still our first time together so there was a natural nervousness. 

He got over it pretty quickly though, and that made me feel real, real good.  He knew i was wearing panties and asked if i was wearing anything else.  i told him i wasn't so he asked me if i'd like to put something pretty on for him.  Of course i agreed but in my mind i was hoping he would be a little more forceful and demanding, TELLING me to put something on instead of just asking.  Maybe in time.

i came back in a short yellow nightie, kind of like a babydoll but not quite.  i also wore white high heels and even had a faux pearl necklace on.  Jake just loved it.  He had me model it for him.  i stood in front of him and in my most feminine and coquettish manner, twirled around, curtsied and bent over so he could look me over.  Things just got better from there and i pulled me close to him and put me on my knees while he sat on the loveseat in our living room. 

Soon after i started this blog, i decided that i wouldn't get into overly graphic sex scenes.  i wanted to keep it more R-rated than anything else.  That's one of the things i'm struggling with.  How do i keep it R-rated and still be able to convey the intimacy that took place between Jay and i?  Or, do i abandon that philosophy and tell everyone everything that happened, in explicit detail?  For now, i hope you can read between the lines.  i will tell you that i serviced Jake three times with my mouth, and he promised to come back for more.

i was also happy that my submissive side was more than satisfied, particularly since there was no reciprocation on his part.  It's just me, but i don't look at a Dominant Man and expect him to go down on me.  i'd enjoy it with another sissy, but not a Real Man.  Instead, Jake wanted me to masturbate in front of him.  i did, and did it in my usual sissy way.  He just loved that....thought it was so "F*&%(^ hot" - his exact words.

When he left, he told me to "be a good girl" and he kissed me.  That was totally awesome.

Diane got home a little later than usual last night due to her out of town meeting.  She called and told me to make sure i was dressed pretty for Her, something casual but feminine so we could enjoy a glass of wine together.  After pouring the wine and setting out some cheese and crackers, She asked me how my "date" with Jake went.  She wanted to know absolutely everything, down to the smallest detail.  Diane took it all in and really made me feel comfortable.  Her encouragement and support was really uplifting. 

When I asked Her how Her day went and Her out of town meeting, the answer I got shocked the heck out of me.  Her out of town meeting was actually a hook up with Brian.  "I didn't want to tell you about it this morning because I figured you were nervous enough about your first time with Jake" She said. 

"It's my turn to tell you about my date" She said with a big smile on Her face, "you can also ask me anything you want."   She went on to tell me all that happened that afternoon with Brian.  i didn't ask any questions.  i didn't have to.  She was very explicit.

When She was done telling me about Her date, She told me to follow Her to the bedroom.  "I could use a nice licking" She told me.

As i began to worship Her, She asked me "Do I taste different?" 

She did and i told her so. 

"Do you like it?" She asked.

"Yes Diane.  i do." i told Her.  To be totally honest, i loved it. 

"It was nice that we were both with our boyfriends today" She said, not expecting an answer.

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Cuckold Feelings

Diane's been a little edgy this week since returning from our short trip for a graduation.  There were also a few issues at the office that She had to deal with while we were away and She knew what was waiting for Her when She returned.

Also, Her last meeting with Brian took place last Wednesday night while i was away.  It's probably going to be another two weeks before She seems him again and i think that's putting Her in a down mood.  She's always told me this is just a sexual thing and i believe Her, but sometimes i need to hear it just to reaffirm it.  So the other night, i asked Her if She missed Brian and Her answer was more or less what i expected, but still difficult to hear.

"Of course I miss him because of the sex.  I don't miss him much when it comes to being with him or the companionship.  He's nice and he's fun, but it's the sex I miss" She told me.  After a pause She added "Wouldn't you miss it if I didn't fuck you for a few weeks?"

Those were Her exact words.  She doesn't use the "F" word often, almost never.  i told Her that yes, i would miss it, but then i went on to over-analyze what She had said and began to think if i would miss it the same way She misses Her sex with Brian?

Part of the reason i would miss being made love to by Diane is because of the love and emotional attachment that's involved in the act.  According to Her, there's not much of that involved when She does it with Brian.

i believe Her.  But the discussion was one of those little things that made me feel like more of a cuckold than i already am.

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Flying "More Femme"

i leave with Diane today for about 5 days.  We're going to a niece's college graduation and will be flying out tomorrow.  The graduation is this weekend and we'll be spending some time with family. 

This morning, Diane told me that tomorrow i need to wear four items of feminine clothing for our flight out.   At first, i was shocked and incredulous about this demand.  Four items is quite a bit to wear without bring unnecessary attention to myself.  Diane told me i was making way too big a deal out of it and was worrying for nothing.  "I bet you could get by with more items than that and nobody would even bat an eye" She said.  

She proceeded to suggest several things i could wear in various combinations that would amount to four items.  Some of the things she mentioned were bra, panties, pantyhose, garter belt, thigh highs, ladies oxford or golf shirt, ladies slacks or jeans, ladies socks, a chemise, a girdle, etc.  There was more on the list but i can't remember.  She's correct (again), and i should be able to get the four items without much of a problem.

Wednesday night was an interesting one.  Brian did hook up with Diane, but couldn't stay very long.  When i spoke with Her later that evening, She said even though the time with Brian was short, it was still worth it.  "I still wish you were here tonight though.  I like being with Brian, but there's something special about having you there after he leaves" She said.  "Makes it feel more like I'm cuckolding you."  Those last words got me hard.

Also, i got up the courage to call Jake and am glad i did.  We're meeting for coffee next Thursday and i'm now sure this is going to work out.  We couldn't talk long but i finally asked him what made him approach me at the gym.  He in turn asked me if i was glad he did.  "Of course" i said, then realizing how i probably sounded a little too giddy about it.  "Well, I'm a little embarrassed to say this" he said "but I'd been looking you over for awhile and, well, was intrigued by your legs."

Wow was all I could think.  There was silence and i finally told him that now i was the one who was embarrassed, blushing too.  "Good" he said, "now I don't feel so bad."

i think this thing with Jake might work out after all.  Now i just have to decide what i am going to wear this afternoon!

See you next week :)

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Cuckold Day?

I'm headed out of town this morning and back tomorrow.   Diane hasn't been in a very talkative mood the past couple of days but She did perk up a little last night after talking with Brian for a short while.  i didn't ask if they were getting together tonight while i was gone, but She volunteered a little bit of information a little while later, saying that Brian would be in town tomorrow but wasn't sure if he'd be able to stay late into the evening or overnight.

Maybe it's me but the call from Brian seemed to perk her up a little, put Her in a better mood.  There were a few giggle during the call, some laughter and a smile on her face when i looked over once.  i feel strange saying this but i'm happy for Her.  i wonder if She'll be just as happy for me if i find someone special also.  i'm not saying that in a bad sense at all, it's just something that i wonder about. 

i'm happy that Brian's call put Diane in a better mood.  Last night She had me go upstairs first and wait for Her in bed with "something pretty on."  i love those types of orders from Her.  They put me in a submissive and feminine mood immediately.  i pranced upstairs and took the bed down and took forever to decide which nightgown i wanted to wear.  i decided on a very short peach colored nightgown with matching panties that had a hint of lace around the legs and a little bow on the front waist.

It's a nightgown that i've had for a very long time.  Years and years.  One of the first Diane actually bought me.  It's so pretty, with layers and layers of chiffon type material.  When i wear it, which isn't often, Diane always likes to call me Her "princess."  Last night was no different.  As She took out her strap-on and put it on, She said to me "Get ready princess.  I'm going to make love to you."

i was ready, and She did. 

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