Though i usually don't remember any erotic dreams that might cause my arousal, or if i do it's very vague, this morning when i awoke i was thinking (fantasizing?) about Big Dave, a man who i've been corresponding with and on whom i've developed quite a crush. A few days ago Dave wrote to me about how jealous he was of Paul. Dave also wrote this little gem, which naturally stirred my emotions when i read it, and last night became part of my dream....
"Sometimes when I make love with my partner, I think of you in frillies watching me as I service your wife like a real man. I'll spread my legs a bit wider and invite you to lap my heavy balls as I drive in deep to your wife. Might as well be greedy while I'm fantasizing, right?"Pornographic? Maybe a bit. But it certainly hit the bulls eye when it comes to a sissy cuckold's emotions!
Diane didn't seem to have a problem sleeping, though She was in a bit of a testy and Dominant mood this morning. It was more of a sense i felt rather than anything specific and it didn't take long to soften. Dressed in some just a lacy black bra and matching panty as She started to apply Her makeup, She invited me to kneel behind Her and kiss Her beautiful bottom softly. It's something She likes to do sometimes, mostly on those days She's going to see Paul. It's also a popular photo op you'll find often on cuckold blogs. Today, it had more significance for both of us.
i was also given a few instructions before She went to work. i was told to take down the bed before i left to meet my old friend for lunch, just in case She and Paul got her before i was back. The next instruction was a bit of a surprise - "Take the riding crop out and lay it on the bed after you've taken it down." When i asked Her if this was Her's or Paul's instruction all i got was a devious grin and a "Does it matter?" She was right, whose idea or instruction it was is of no significance to me.
Finally, i was told that if they got here first (which now seems more likely) they'd leave me some instructions on the island in our kitchen. "If you don't see any, just knock on the bedroom door." Just before She left, there was a very loving and warm embrace and kiss. She reassured me that things would work out fine and just before heading out into the garage, Diane told me just how much She loved me.
As the hours pass by i'm more nervous now about the lunch with my friend, hoping it doesn't drag on too long, than i am about anything that will happen later this afternoon with Paul and Diane. The butterflies don't seem to be as bad anymore and i don't feel as anxious. Diane's calming words this morning had a lot to do with that.
However, i also want to thank you, my readers and followers who have left so many heartfelt and thoughtful comments. Many of them have little gems of advice that have been incredibly helpful. Among the many helpful and thoughtful comments was this one left by "Marissa":
"Perhaps if you focus less on your own feelings and more on pleasing Diane and Paul, you'll find your nervousness diminishes and your own pleasure increases."Marissa's comment was timely in that just before i read it, i'd been corresponding with lill jo, the artist of the beautiful sketch that appeared a couple of posts ago, and discussing how we sissies tend to crave being the center of attention, or as jo put it "attention whores." Our behavior misses the whole point of what it means to be submissive to the Woman we love. Marissa's advice helped get me back on track and lessen my anxiety.
Just the same...wish me luck :)