i spent much of today doing some administrative volunteer work for a local non-profit organization. More than anything else i've done over the past few days, it helped take my mind off tomorrow. But as soon as i got back home, the anxiety started again.
It's also been complicated a bit by a call from an old friend who's in town and insists on having lunch tomorrow. Diane's told me to relax and "chill out" a bit, accept the invitation to lunch and come home when i'm done. If She and Paul get here before i do, "you don't have to worry, we'll just start without you. We've done it before!" is what She said with a smile.
She's done Her best to help me relax, telling me time and time again that it will work out because it's what we've both wanted for a long time. As true as that may be, until it happens and is enjoyable, then i don't think the anxiety is going to go away. i'm more nervous now than i've ever been on any "first date" in my life.
Paul seems quite relaxed about it all and apparently enjoy the role he's in. He's only sent me a few brief notes via email in response to a Daily Chastity Report i send to both he and Diane. One such note came earlier today:
Sissy,The notes are short but very direct. As the submissive cuckold, and being who i am, i pore over every word and over-analyze every phrase, searching for any hidden or every possible meaning it contains, along with wondering what he's really trying to convey.
I'm quite impressed by the amount time you're spending in chastity. I could never do it. Nor would I of course.
And my intrusion into your blog doesn't seem to have affected your openness. Make sure that continues.
Today's note had two things that immediately jumped out at me. The compliment about the time i spend in chastity, even when taken alone, emphasizes my submission and his superiority. Put together with the "Nor would I of course" phrase, it was even more powerful. The difference between Paul and i is made very clear isn't it. The "hidden" message? Real Men Don't Wear Chastity Belts!
Then there's the "Make sure that continues." i took it as a direct order. i have been doing my best to continue blogging just the way i did before i found out he knew about it. So i'm happy at least he thinks i haven't changed.
So i continue to wait for tomorrow. i'm sure if they have to start without me, Diane will have instructions ready for me when i arrive. Or maybe they'll be Paul's instruction.