Taking a Step Forward

"Are you playing with  yourself?"  Diane's voice startled me as i stood in the shower this morning enjoying the warm and soothing water all over my body.  The question sounded more teasing than any type of admonishment.  Shower time is when i'm allowed out of my CB-3000;  hot soapy water can be very soothing after you've been locked for many hours.

"Of course not" i answered Her.  i was close though.  The release from the CB, the warm water and most of all my thoughts about the meeting with Paul last night and what might happen in the near future had me in a semi-aroused state.  It was a little difficult "getting back in." 

"Better not be.  you've been in there quite a while.  Hurry or we'll be late" She said before leaving the bathroom.  The two of us had a volunteer commitment this morning.  The time constraint i faced brought me back to reality and i was finally able to put the CB in place and was safely locked once again.

Our meeting with Paul last night took place in the lobby bar of one of the more upscale hotels in town.  The setting gave us plenty of privacy and comfort.  Nice leather chairs and sofas, space enough between us and other patrons and waiters who knew when to leave us alone.  Coupled with my more relaxed frame of mind it was a better way to begin our meeting.

i use the term "our" meeting because it was important to all of us.  It wasn't just about my own concerns.  Paul had a vested interest in hearing what i had to say and to understand how i had reacted to the first meeting and the rules he had set out. 

Honestly, i had little concern about the rules he'd set out.  i asked him why he felt i would need a "safe word", was there something that he intended to do to me that would require something like that.  His explanation was a good one and revealing.  He said that it really wasn't in his plan to get into a situation where it would be needed, but never having been in this type of relationship before, if things were to move in that direction, it would be nice to know that he'd "crossed a line" with me and did something i wasn't comfortable with.  Fair enough i thought.  In a way, each of us had admitted some level of insecurity and angst about what we were possibly getting into.

The "no sex with others" (in my case that meant Jake) was discussed.  As Jake becomes more involved with another woman (or perhaps women) i understand this demand and quite frankly, happy to comply.  i also trust Paul will be honest about this too.  My trust is based upon Diane's trust of him also.  One follows the other.

What was left for us to discuss was the revelation that he'd become aware of the blog.  i was honest and told him about the sense of betrayal i initially felt along with the risks that might come from him knowing all the he knows, considering everything i'd written since the blog started.

He understood how i felt and was quite reassuring that the blog would be held in strict confidence.  "I'm mentioned in it too, so I'm assuming some risk as well" he said.  Then he told me something that was another.  "You know, if Diane hadn't told me about the blog I'm sure we wouldn't be at this stage today.  It's your blog that convinced me.  She told me to read it and it would help me understand what She was getting at.  It worked."

It made total sense.  It wasn't like i had cracked a code or solved a puzzle, but the pieces were coming together.  All these months where i would wonder if i'd ever experience cuckolding intimately with Diane where little progress was made caused me to more or less give up on the fantasy.  Finally, Diane felt that the blog might be the final piece of "evidence" needed to convince Paul that it could work.

i wasn't quite sure what to say.  "i'm surprised it didn't turn you off, or send you running away" i said trying to add a little humor.  Paul laughed.  "On the contrary.  The more I read, the more I became intrigued and even aroused.  Not just your blog either.  The links to others are like a labyrinth of sexy adventures" he said.  "It was amazing.  Enlightening really."

Paul had to get home so the meeting wasn't that long.  Each of us only had one glass of wine.  Paul wrapped it up by telling me to take my time in making a decision.   "If you take more than two weeks that's fine.  "Just don't take forever" he said, with an air of dominance i hadn't seen in the rest of the meeting.  That was fine with me.

i shook his hand and thanked him for taking the time to meet with us.  He did the same, saying he thought it was beneficial. 

Then, he reached for Diane with his arm out.  She moved to his open arms and there was a hug and a kiss on her lips.  It was more than a friendly kiss as i saw it.  The innocent bystander or even someone that knew us might think the same, or maybe not.  i also saw how he held Her.  His hands slid very subtly down Her back before resting briefly on Her sexy butt. 

The kiss and the placement of his hand on Diane's butt was just as much for my benefit as it was Paul's.  Having read my blog, he must have understood the effect it would have on me. 

i was humiliated in a way; an erotic way.  i was aroused.  

It's also what i was thinking about in the shower this morning.


sissy terri