By the time Diane's lover Paul "visits" here again, it will have been three weeks since the last "live cuckolding" episode. Paul was unable to make it this week and next week Diane and i are away for several days. The break is a bit of a disappointment to both of them, however they're still able to see one another every few days for some privacy and yes, some intimacy.
The break also gives me some time to reflect on the past few months during which so many things have happened, seemingly at breakneck speed. Diane's decisions to put me in chastity, include me as part of Her affair with Paul, reveal the blog to Paul and establishing a hierarchy amongst the three of us where he's clearly the Dom was a lot to handle. Diane's skill in managing the situation, Her planning and understanding of all of our needs was key to making it work.
After Paul's last visit here (see the blog post Wearing Diane's Panties), Diane and i had a very intimate and loving conversation that evening. i shared some of it with my sissy gurlfriend Candi who by the way, had a very beautiful post here (It's a Beautiful Thing) last Saturday. The conversation i had with Diane was both loving and emotional; an opportunity to share our deepest feelings about how things were going.
In the BDSM community, the term "aftercare" refers to the time spent attending to the needs of a partner (typically the submissive i would think) after some rather intense physical or psychological feelings related to a sex scene involving D/s or BDSM. Though not true practitioners of D/s as a lifestyle, some of the activities we partake in do put me into "subspace" at times. Diane's recent meeting with Paul where i played some part as Her submissive cuckold are a good example of this. It follows that there's a benefit to spending some time to discuss what took place.
The intimate discussion with Diane was a good example of "cuckolding aftercare" and a living and beautiful expression of Her love and concern for me. i'll share more of this and other conversations we've had in future posts, but for now i'd like to focus on one of the things that Diane shared with me while discussing among other things, the "differences" between Paul and i.
That particular discussion began in a very teasing and fun-like manner but turned quite serious when Diane put it into the context of the types of relationships She has with each of us; Paul being Her lover and i being Her spouse. She told me how She views each of them, and just how different they are. Her explanation was beautiful in its simplicity.
"The relationship I have with Paul is sexy and fun. I love it" She said.
"The relationship I have with you is a lifestyle. I love it and we live it" She said, staring right at me with as serious a look as i've ever seen on Her. She continued. "I like Paul an awful lot, both as a lover and as a person, but I love you. He knows that and I want you to know it."
Cuckolding is an activity that evokes a wide range of powerful emotions, particularly in the cuckold. That's evidenced here on the pages where i seem to go on and on, over and over, again and again, about the anxiety i feel so often. One would think i'd get over it eventually. However, cuckolding combined with a female led lifestyle is a very powerful force.
i'll probably always experience some level of anxiety before, during and after cuckolding scenes where i'm allowed to play a part. For that reason, i'll always welcome a little aftercare from the Woman who loves me.